When I’m shown a sign numerous times, or am directed someplace over and over, I know it’s a big damn deal. This week was no exception.
While my desk job is soon to be going through a huge operational systems change, I have been keeping the worry in my back pocket, trying to ignore the low-key stress I feel about how much trouble this will cause. Simultaneously, I enjoyed some fantastic days off/family moments.
This is my reality. And I’m getting better at the juggling, the prioritizing, the putting one aside to face the other, then… switching gears. I’ve worked really hard to get here, and it makes me proud to say I put in the hours, the tears, the pain, to reach this point.
(I have a long way still to go, but the progress is evident.)
My improvement is also being measured in the way I treat myself. I’ve granted allowances, I’ve fashioned a sort of metaphorical shawl of grace I reach for when I start to spiral in a negative direction, draping it over my shoulders in comfort and tenderness.
I extend compassion to my younger self now too, I look at her as someone who maybe should have been given understanding instead of being assaulted. I don’t hold her responsible as I once did. I have relieved her of the burdens she should not have been carrying.
Who the Universe has brought forth for this lesson is one of my true favorites. When she kept showing up (in SUCH unexpected and random ways), I smiled, and thanked her.
The Goddess of Compassion
‘I recognize suffering in order to release it.‘ “
To live in honesty and with genuine empathy for those around us, we must show ourselves this same care. We must forgive our younger selves. Forgive our past selves.
Once we move through and beyond the sorrow, the guilt, and the blame, we can often see an innocence in our ignorance. To show compassion is to accept that we’re all learning, we’re all growing, we’re all trying to do better.
Would we berate a loved one for actions they couldn’t change, or origins they had no control over? Never! So, it only seems fair we grant the same clemency for ourselves.
Allow lovingkindness, first for ourselves, and then, rippling out into the world. It’s what Quan Yin suggests. And I agree.