When a birthday or anniversary nears, we can’t help but be brought back to that place, that feeling, that spot on our journey.  It’s been this way for me recently.

             The advancement of days, the march of time, the approach of a new season … all of it triggers memories, brings up thoughts of the past.  Fondly looking behind and smiling can be healthy.  For me, most often, it is painful.

             In these handful of recent years I’ve been very focused on recovery, healing, growth, and Life Lessons.  There are days when I think, hey, that went well, I sure do feel emotionally stable.  And then, there are the episodes when all I feel is bad, sorry, grief-stricken, and heavy (on a variety of levels).

             I wholeheartedly believe in what is called “curating your feed” and aiming our gaze upon that which will help us in the highest and best way.  Allowing our eyes to rest where the view will bring the most comfort is crucial.  As is, you guessed it, Self Care.

             None of this does any good if we can’t get out of bed in the morning (or afternoon, or evening), none of the tools we have are any use if we can’t bring ourselves to use them.

             Here is where I’m being directed, here is what the Universe wants us to focus on:


             The biggest barrier to our own sanity is generally within.  If we do not ask for help, if we do not allow ourselves the mercy of being forgiven, we will not be able to move forward.

             And what other direction can we go?  Not back, that’s done.  That’s over with.  That fucking ship has so sailed.

             Begin from our own heart, our own soul, or own body.  Start the healing at home.  Our one and only sure-thing place, where our spirit currently resides.  This is the vessel we have chosen to move around in.  It only makes sense that we should treat it well.

             Whatever “well” means.  I’m no authority on Wellness, but I have been living here in one of these bodies for long enough to know that we must be kind.  We must be generous.  And most of all, we must forgive.


Special Note:

the Universe may believe in full-on forgive-everyone.  I do not.

My complete surety is in going with our intuition.  And for this one, we’re only focusing on SELF forgiveness.  Which we all totally deserve.



2 thoughts on “Markers and Moments

  1. A phrase that I use often with myself is “if you heard someone talking to a friend/family member/loved one like you are talking to yourself, you’d be mad, and call them out. When I grudgingly allow that is true, I ask myself to be nicer to me. Sometimes its work. The work is always worth it.

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