Any time a person would say to me, “you’ll change your mind” I’d immediately bristle and think NO I WON’T! Then, I became more determined than ever to NOT change my mind.
Time is strange. It does weird things to our brains (not to mention our bodies, no, like really, we are not mentioning bodies, they’re just meat-suits, so who cares). This week marks the 11th year that my sister has been gone. In the first decade of loss, it was fresh and painful, sharp and biting.
As we enter the next chapter, it is still a wound, but it is made of scars. They throb, but it’s a dull ache, nothing so pointy as before. The years chip away at our grief, while at the very same time bringing newness.
I am changing my mind about things. I have grown, and I’ve even healed a tiny bit since she left. Here’s an example. I used to detest with a white-hot fiery passion both Sundays and Autumn. The day before school/work, was torture. The end of my summer felt like an amputation, every year.
Now? I’m glad the heat is gone. I look forward to colder weather, longer nights, the seasonal transitions and transformations. On the work schedule Sundays are my Friday. Ahead of me there are days off to enjoy. No alarm clock, no structure.
progress and process.
We move along our path, we participate in our journey. We evolve and spiral ever higher. Change can be slow and it can be smooth.
If we take the time to understand why, and we take the time to allow our lessons to sink in at the rate which best suits us; no rushing, no guilt, then those changes can be absorbed, as opposed to battled against.
Living with the loss of a loved one is horrible. However, it IS something we can survive. Ten years seems like a lifetime. It feels like we’ll never get through it. And then, before we even notice, we’ve moved another year along this path.
Breathe through it, breathe with it, breathe. Progress is made when the process is allowed to flow on its own timeline.
The Divine Mother
Unconditional love exists with me.
The presence of love is the absence of judgment.
Who She Is:
Sri Sarada Devi embodies the feminine power which initiates seekers onto a spiritual path through unconditional love. Sarada Devi was born in Jayrambati, India in 1853 to poor Brahmin parents.
As a little girl she worshiped a clay figure of the goddess Kali, meditated, and began to have visions. At the age of five she was betrothed to the priest of the Dakshinewar Kali temple, a beloved mystic name Ramakrishna. Ten years later, she joined him at the temple and they began their lifelong spiritual marriage together.
Sarada’s husband performed the Shodashi Puja with her – this meant that Sarada was positioned in the seat of the goddess Kali and was addressed as Sri Ma, or holy mother.
She is considered to be Ramakrishna’s first disciple. They both became notable mystics with large, international followings. Sarada helped form the monastic order for devotees after Ramakrishna passed. And because she was so beloved, a monastic order was founded for women in her honour. She paved the way for future generations to enter the spiritual life.
As a spiritual instructor, Sarada Devi was known for treating all of her disciples as her children. Many of her devotees relate that she initiated them in a dream. She appeared as a goddess in human form and gave them a mantra. When they met her for the first time in person, they would recall the dream and know instantly that they were encountering their guru.
When Your Soul Selects Her Card:
Sarada Devi loved all her disciples unconditionally and equally. In her teachings she emphasized that there is no such thing as a stranger.
She encouraged her followers to understand that everyone we meet is actually a part of us, and is connected to us. And that if we want to experience true peace, we need to own the fault and judgement which we project onto others. We need to see our own faults and forgive them with love.
Sarada Devi whispers gently to us, ‘no one is a stranger, my child; this whole world is your own.’
The goal is to let us mother ourselves with unconditional love. That’s the only love which will quiet those harsh, critical voices within us. So we can stop wasting our time mired in judgement of others and ourselves, and get on with being the perfectly imperfect light that we are.
What am I currently judging or criticizing about myself?
Unconditional love exists within me.
The presence of love is the absence of judgment.”
Divine Feminine Oracle by Meggan Watterson and Lisbeth Cheever-Gessaman