Unless you’ve actually dealt with depression, in your very own personal skull, it could be a difficult concept to fully understand.  Hell, even if you HAVE, it’s still so confusing.  And random?  Holy shit this crap has no fucking patterns.

             Not until I felt it, lived it, labeled it, was I able to see, first-hand/up close and way too personal, what an obnoxious (and toxic) lying bastard this is.  To fight it, whether chemically or physically, is to be a hero.  A gawdammed warrior in the fight for livable mental health.  Today?  I gave my broken-but-hopeful self elf a day off from the battle.

             There was an acupuncture appointment, then I rested.  And added shit to my new fancy-pants phone’s calendar function.  Later, I listened to some uplifting music.  When Dan and Maxx got home we lounged on the guest bed (which STILL hasn’t been re-made).  No pressure, no stress.

             Does this mean that the cycle I’m currently in is over?  How the hell should I know?  What I CAN tell you is that, I’m a work in progress, just like everybody else.  The only difference?  Well, I now wake up with messages from SomeWhere Else, to start our day off on some nicely spiritual ground.

Kindly generous.

             Treat any and all beings that we come in contact with as kindly and generously as we possibly can.  Including (and possibly most importantly) ourselves.

             Returning to our regular rotation today, we’ve come around to one of those delightfully inspiring British messengers.

boar, animal messages, oracle cards

“Wild Boar  ~

Whatever traditions or others expect of you, only to yourself be true.

Jungle lore casts meaty Wild Boar as a banquet for others, but Boar reverses the role of predator and prey proving tradition wrong.  If you allow society or individuals to dictate the part you play in life, constant friction between outer persona and inner desire will cause stress, deep unhappiness and, with time, coruscating resentment.

If your role is a sham then your relationships with others will also be false.  Boar counsels that you be true to yourself so that you may in turn be true to others.”

             Live our lives in lovingkindness, and walk in Truth.  It’s for our highest good, and is nothing but beneficial for our loved ones.  Which, as we all know, ripples out into the rest of the world.

Today’s Deck:

Animal Messages – Seek Inspiration From Our Animal Guides by Susie Green

Today’s Mileage:

didn’t get recorded.  Leaving the house was fraught with turmoil, so the tiny bike calculator stayed on the kitchen table, where it can be basically impossible to measure distance.

FLP Report:

Fulton, Georgia.

6 thoughts on “Truth and Not Truth.

  1. Depression is insidious. It colors your world with grey. I am glad that I don’t experience this first hand, however. Yes, you are a warrior as you combat that disease, every step of the way. Treating ourselves gently is also a hard one to remember, one that both Mrs. Denial and I struggle with from time to time.

    I like Boar’s message.

    Think I am going to have to find a new tag for Mrs. Denial…

    Warrior Wife? Mrs Retired?
    Oh, wait, that would be you. Okay, then I got nuthin’.

    11:47 p.m.

  2. As The Bloggess says: Depression Lies! And it can be so hard to remember that when one is entangled in its stick tentacles struggling with all our might and getting tired. It can be so hard when we seem to be all surrounded by darkness with no light anywhere. When we seem to be all alone.

    Reaching out seems like the most impossible thing to do and I have spent most of my adult life not reaching out (when, I did in my 20s, but no one in their 20s knew how to respond well). The Betties have been helping me to learn to reach out and sometimes I remember.

    We are all here for you, whether you reach out or not, and I hope you can remember that at least sometimes. I’m so glad you have Dan, who is a rock.

    You are a warrior. You are strong and brave. With the help of *A* and those who love you, you will beat this, again and again if necessary.

    I’m so glad you got a day to rest and not have to fight.

    Thank you, sincerely.
    And yes, we quote Jenny Lawson LOTS!

    11:48 p.m.

  3. Treating ourselves gently is also a hard one to remember, one that…

    This is so true xenatuba. We can be kind to all but ourself. I’m going to practice being kindly generous to myself.

    Good reminders to be found in these comments, most days, but this time, more than ever.

    11:50 p.m.

  4. Oh girlfriend, you shine such light out into the world for others; you need some of that light for yourself.

    I have episodes of low-level depression, not the full-blown hideousness that others have, just the life seems a little grey, a bit dull, a kind of why bother feeling and one of the things that irritates me the most about it is that there is no damn REASON for it. It just happens. And sits on me. If it had a reason, maybe I could fix it and make it go away, but no . . .

    Be kind to yourself, kind and caring.

    Thank you. And ya know, doesn’t matter the level, it all sucks!

    11:51 p.m.

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