My big fat truth.

             This post may seem simplistic and not too break-through-like to some folks, but to me, it’s another one of those massive steps towards positive mental health.  I’m reading the Intuitive Eating book, and seeking assistance from a qualified professional (well, two, but that’s not my point).  One of the reasons for all of it is that I’ve been lied to and brainwashed by my culture, my country.

             In that decades-long process, I lost the ability to nourish my body in a healthy and instinctive way.  Honestly?  I never realized how bad it was.  Until my sister was in hospice care, and we both thought she looked good.  Thin.  She was so damn thin.  Because she was actively DYING!

              Now that I’m examining, living this process, experiencing the damage and the healing, I’m sad and I’m thrilled.  I get angry, then I feel empowered.  It varies, depending on the day.

            Here’s what I learned.  We never need to be starving, or deprived.  Not in a country that is BEYOND rich with food.   Is it all nutritious food?  No, it is not.  Unfortunately, that’s not the ONLY unhealthy aspect of our society.

             When we are born, we eat as a result of feeling/being hungry.  We stop when we are full.  Basic?  Absolutely!  This becomes lost in some people (and here, I’m only talking about me now).   Those folks (me!) have to find the tools needed to re-learn this skill.  I’ve begun that.  I’ve made headway over the past year.  My weight no longer counts as my value.

              (It doesn’t count on most days, some days, it’s a complete relapse, crumple-in-a-heap-to-the-bottom sort of situation.)

             Here is what the authors say about their concept, and this is the shift in focus that I’ve been working towards:

“While Intuitive Eating includes principles of mindful eating, it also encompasses a broader philosophy, addressing the issues of cognitive distortions and emotional eating.  It includes seeing satisfaction as a focal point in eating, physical activity/movement for the sake of feeling good, rejecting dieting mentality, using nutrition information without judgement, and respecting your body, regardless of how you feel about its shape.”

             The gigantic steps that I am taking in this direction is for my highest good.  As are all things that I strive to incorporate into my life.  Previously, that was not the case.   As I’ve struggled with the topic of food and body-image and self-worth I have seen the improvements, but I also still get caught off-guard by the crashing falls.

             We all have our lessons, we all have our gifts.  While I am confident in a spiritual sense, absolute in my working crafts, my own “me” issues continue to be a project that I must deal with every day.

             This afternoon, before I even got up, the channeled message was making itself known, it actually arrived as a visitation in my dreams.  Do I question this?  Not a fucking chance.  I KNOW that this is my truth, my gift, my journey in this lifetime.  As much a part of me as my challenges and problems are.

             Here’s what we need to know today:

our lives may go in immeasurable directions,

embrace and appreciate the path that we are on.

             In my case, it’s all about the inner vs outer.  I could have made other choices, turned a different way, heading in another direction.  I am here, instead.  My challenges are the ones I need to face now.  My talents are the ones I need to share now.

             On our card altar, the message here is like an exuberant companion piece for us to reach for.

mermaid oracle cards

“Set Your Sights Higher  ~

Increase your standards, and expect more for yourself.  

Don’t settle!

This card indicates that you have been trying to rationalize that some situation is okay . . . . when it isn’t.  You’ve settled for less than you desire, and for much less than you deserve.  You don’t need to compromise!  Heaven will help you heal, or will replace troubling situations in your life.  All  you need to do is ask for help, and then adhere to the guidance that results.

Take time today to visualize and dream about your true heart’s desires. Don’t worry about being disappointed – you deserve a great life, and you have the power and the Divine help to accomplish it.  Fear and worries slow down your manifestation, so keep releasing all cares and doubts.

You may feel intimidated by moving up to a higher plateau in  your journey; however, you have this reassurance that you are ready.  Reach for the stars, know that you are qualified and deserving of these gifts, and open your arms to receive them!”

             This one doesn’t come with a defined affirmation  so I made one that I thought we could use.

I deserve to be healthy and safe and happy and richly fulfilled in all aspects of my life.  I never need to compromise, because what I desire I am able to manifest.  For the highest good of all.

Today’s Deck:

Magical Mermaids And Dolphin Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

Today’s Mileage:

 was just downtown and back, with only one minor detour to drop off some paperwork, 8.672 total miles, in 49 minutes 2 seconds, at a rate of 10.5 MPH average speed.  In the rain for about half of it.

Today’s Sharing:

is this view of how my canisters look, as of last night.

counter top storage

Flour, brown sugar, and coffee.

            That very old one on the far right was purchased in an antique store more than 20 years ago (for less than a 10 dollar bill).  Now you can see why I was so excited to find the new ones.   Also?  Looks like we need to make more brown sugar.

6 thoughts on “My big fat truth.

  1. I love your canisters. Make brown sugar? How do you do that?

    By adding (2 teaspoons of) unsulphured molasses to (one cup of) white sugar.
    We found the recipe in Alana’s book
    The HomeMade Pantry.

    Super easy. And cheap. Just be sure to mix the hell out of it, clumping happens. Add more or less, depending on how dark you prefer.

    12:55 a.m.

  2. The way I look at food, our evolution has not caught up with our revolution. Our bodies don’t know that there is no scarcity, there is a 7-11 on dang near every corner, and don’t get me started on the intentional manipulation of processed foods to encourage physiological responses that mimic addiction. I jokingly say that my ancestors must not have been good hunters because I store fat so well, and because there are circumstances in my life that make scarcity non-existent.

    I remember earlier talk about “exit points” and missing those. I think that there are other “forks in the road” that have similar consequences in guiding how our lives turn out, and where we end up in this world. I think there is some karmic influence there as well, and also some conscious (on some level) choice on our muddling little parts.

    Yes, and yes!
    You nailed it,
    again. 😛

    1:17 a.m.

  3. “I have seen the improvements, but I also still get caught off-guard by the crashing falls.” me, too. This intuitive eating book sounds interesting, I will see if our library has it. I’m so glad you are where you are and doing what you’re doing, both because it seems right for you, but also selfishly because it is so enormously helpful to me. 🙂

    Ha! I like that I can help. And no worries, I’m the biggest shellfish of all!
    (Besides, our Journey is SO damn similar, we’re practically interchangeable.)

    Get that book, and get the one I featured in tonight’s post. Together, they make all the sense and have all the answers. The REAL answers, the ones we were missing.
    No fads, no counting, no pressure, no guilt, and best of all, yes good food.

    1:19 a.m.

  4. It does sounds like a good book. Maybe I’ll go looking for it too. I have been doing better about eating, but I know I could eat much healthier. I lost another five pounds without trying to, but that may be because I’m not exercising and my muscle is returning to fat or something.

    Very good card for me, not just today but every day. On the other hand, it is a good reminder that it was a great thing I did, leaving my old boyfriend those many years ago. Because I haven’t seen him in about 18 years and he’ll be here today helping Steve with a house project. It took me forever to get over him and it will probably be a bit uncomfortable seeing him. Good reminder that I was right not to have settled, even though I never married.

    You haven’t married anyone YET. Who knows?
    You could still do it. 😉

    1:22 a.m.

  5. One eats when he is hungry. He doesn’t really snack during the day and he has never drunk soda or even juice. His has about two cookies a day and dessert, which is sometimes just yogurt.

    I am not him.

    I am currently disappointed in my body shape, but not quite to the point where I am willing to work to improve it. But in general, my mood is improving so I think I’ll get there because I want to live a really long time so I can be an old lady who doesn’t worry about make-up and grey hair.

    I admire you for taking this journey, open-eyed and fearless, because you’re worth it!

    Were you describing your son or my brother? I was never him, either. And now, I’m getting much closer to being perfectly okay with that.

    It’s an adventure, that’s for sure. Thank you for being part of my wonderfully loving cheer squad. And yeah, you’ll be that old lady, we ALL will!

    1:24 a.m.

  6. I gave up on my shape ages ago. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother me. But occasionally, I have to buy new jeans and then there is cursing.

    Love your jars. 😀

    Here’s my new theory, they don’t make clothes to last any more, so we ALL need to buy new jeans. 😉

    Thanks, I hear they can hold candy too, I’ll have to look in to that as a gift idea.

    1:26 a.m.

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