Oh but sanity is an elusive and slippery creature. Sometimes right here and sometimes loooooong gone, nary to be seen nor heard from for days; not even so much as a post card or quick e-mail. Last night I fell (mentally/emotionally) and I couldn’t get up. It was deep and it was dark.
Fortunately, it was also brief (thankGAWD), we worked past it. Not ALL the way past it, but enough to (mostly) continue on with our lives. Today, when I got up, it was better. There was residual-ness though. I shoved beyond those tattered remains and pedaled out into the day.
It rained on me. But I was dressed for the weather, and kept right on going. My mission was a kitchen tool for a special request (yes, another one. Are you familiar with the phrase: I’ve created a monster? Because that’s what is happening with my parents, now they think I can fucking COOK, like a regular person). When I’ve worked the kinks out of this new food project, there will be (something like) a recipe and pictures (I promise) for now, we’re simply utilizing it all as a handy metaphor.
The other action that I took, besides riding out into the wet afternoon, was to enjoy another guided meditation CD. This time it was one of Cheryl Richardson’s (she of the Self-Care Deck and co-authour with Louise Hay). Seriously, I cannot express to you all how very beneficial these gems are! (And so simple!) When in doubt (or a depressive episode), leave your body (or just leave the house, that also works).
On our card altar we have been given a similar message, one of singularly aimed focus and intent.
“Intensity ~ Knight of Fire ~ Mastery of Action
The figure in this card has taken on the shape of an arrow, moving with the single-pointed focus of one who knows precisely where he is going. He is moving so fast that he has become almost pure energy. But his intensity should not be mistaken for the manic energy that makes people drive their cars at top speed to get from point A to point B.
That kind of intensity belongs to the horizontal world of space and time. The intensity represented by the Knight of Fire belongs to the vertical world of present moment – a recognition that now is the only moment there is, and here is the only space.
When you act with the intensity of the Knight of Fire it is likely to create ripples in the waters around you. Some will feel uplifted and refreshed by your presence, others may feel threatened or annoyed. But the opinion of others matters little; nothing can hold you back right now.”
This one is extremely encouraging for me (…now is the only moment there is, and here is the only space). I hope it gives all of you the same “uplifting and refreshed” feeling.
Osho Zen Tarot
was not simply the distance (4.912) nor the average speed (9.3 MPH) nor even the time on two wheels (31:29) but more about the act of going and doing it, at all.
Right behind where I’m standing is the bike parking, immediately after I locked up and grabbed this shot, I spotted a friend (co-PTA mom from the kids’ school days) in the deli. It was SO great to visit with her.
Last Night’s Baking:
was not in any way a technical failure, I just wasn’t thrilled with the results. Dan said they tasted good, so I know my dad will be happy.
One of those will be staying here, but the rest will be gone soon.