It can be so damn difficult to make positive changes in our lives. This is simply a fact. But what we don’t hear about, when we strive for this New & Improved self, is that it’s even more difficult for those who have known us a long time to accept our changes. Which can often cause lapses, or drops back into a bad place.
No one is ever shocked when I slip and crash, or sprawl in a messy heap, falling off of my Making A Better Me wagon. I certainly never am. So it feels doubly challenging to KEEP getting better, to keep getting back the fuck up. This thought saddens me, but it does NOT always send me spiraling down into a depressive state. As much.
This afternoon I was aiming for a goal, and I missed it. By mere minutes. Then I shot for another one. Second fail. I tried one last time. Third attempt = three strikes yer out.
None of this put me over the edge, as it previously would have. Sure I was down and kind of emotional, definitely disappointed. I was not, however, completely lost/balled up on the floor/unable to move or speak. This is huge improvement. Huge.
The heavy feelings and darkness were both acknowledged, I recognized the loss. Then, I chose not to look at it any more. I released it. I opened my hands and let it go. I consciously examined my discouraged attitude and turned it around. Being thankful for the opportunity, if not the result.
I hung up my wet raingear, changed into dry clothes, and read a library book on the couch. Later I had a snack* and got Dan out the door to work. Now, I sit here sharing my accomplishment. It feels like sometimes the little steps are more important than the big ones. Or maybe it’s all just a part of the process.
*Empress made some muffins yesterday, and since she is über considerate, she set aside part of the batter for me, leaving out the bananas that she put in to everyone else’s.
On our card altar, the message made me laugh, due to the timing. Literally.
“Taking Action ~
‘I enthusiastically embrace life’s boundless possibilities.’
Don’t hesitate! Whatever you have been putting off, now is the time to act. Stand tall, raise your fists to the sky, and leap into action. Break out the champagne, for victory is in reach.
The Universe wants you to know:
Action creates momentum. Whatever you have been wishing and waiting for, this is the right time to move forward without looking back. Quicken your spirit by taking action now. Even if you have to face your fears in order to do so, look them in the eye with a calm and clear gaze and forge ahead. The action you take now will reap immense rewards in the future.
Questions to ask yourself:
In what area of my life should I take action now? What blocks me from acting, and how can I overcome this? What is the most direct action that will yield the greatest results?
I enthusiastically embrace life’s boundless possibilities.”
Once more, this set of cards hits it out of the park. The purple person is slightly odd, but otherwise I like this one as much as I’ve adored all of the others so far. That hint of a rainbow above the bendy tree just says “here’s yer sign” to me.
Gateway Oracle Cards by Denise Linn
on my wee Fool’s Errands was a mere 3.314 at a staggeringly slow rate of 8.6 MPH in a brief 22 minutes, 56 seconds. On the plus side? I was out on the bike.
from the past few days is not much but some that make me really wonder when I see them, like Delaware. Also two Illinois representatives in one day, and then two Michigans, plus whatever that one is that says “First In Flight” (and it’s not the one Dan kept thinking it was, Ally knew it though). In yesterday’s traffic and rainstorms several got past me that I absolutely couldn’t see, nor recognize.
comes from New Jersey and Washington. First, Karen Buys sent me this phone photo.
The 2013 Seattle Sibling Weekend has gotten underway, as we saw when J.D. sent us that shot of his hotel keys yesterday. This morning I woke up to a panoramic view from Hanna’s apartment building roof.
She’s in a new place now, with some cool new perks. Like that vista above. Thanks both of you, for your generosity.