My emotional baggage is still firmly in hand, I’ve been toting it around for days.  Fortunately I got to go see *A* this afternoon, and sob all over her office.  Cathartic.  And then I looked at what our message said.  No shit.  We’ll just keep moving though.  Better to not go there at this exact moment.  I have assignments, and a book to find.   (Both of which you WILL hear about, just not yet.)

Eugene fountains
There really are fish in there,
I promise.

             This fountain is in the courtyard of her building.  It’s delightful, and every single time I’ve walked past, there has been someone out there enjoying it.

             Speaking of soaking up the nice weather, I wandered today.  On my long Route, the way I now go when I ride.  Five miles.  My feet are puffy and complain-y, but it was worth it.  There were a few changes to the neighborhood since I last stomped that way.  (I don’t see as much when I’m whizzing past on the bike, apparently.)  Many of them involving landscape bark.

yard projects

             These folks were different.  It seems as though they are going with dirt.  That square in front of the brick lamp-post is all new.  On their driveway they had some potting soil in bags and a few plant starts.  Can’t wait to see how it looks all finished.  Good for them!

             I tried to get some shots of the park (you know how I love the park) but the sun stopped cooperating, so mostly it would have looked like shadows.  There were teams on all the grass areas, playing a game like baseball but with big red rubber kickballs.  The number of matching t-shirts was massive for my tiny part of town.  (Most had the names of bars on the back as sponsors, or possibly just one bar pays for all of this.)

             My son said (in his comment from yesterday) that I forgot the watch.  I did not.  Neither did his father, it was in that white box (in the tweetie pic).  But, since you all don’t have x-ray vision, I took this picture earlier, so you can actually SEE what the watch looks like.

watches
Yes, it’s on.
And showing the time.

             I’ll let one of them explain it.  At first we thought I’d hate it, partly because it’s so confusing.  But now I kinda like it.  Also, it’s so classic looking.  Can’t wait for him to have a chance to wear it.  (He has one he wears for work, it has actually visible numbers on the face.  Lots of numbers.)

             Our card today is one of those long types; it felt as though we needed both directions this time.  Both sides seem valuable today.  (I only shortened/edited it slightly, where it seemed redundant.)

animal message cards

“Armadillo  ~  Boundaries  ~  28

Armadillo wears its armor on its back, its medicine a part of its body.  Its boundaries of safety are a part of its total being.

What a gift it is to set your boundaries so that harmful words or intentions just roll off.  Your lesson is in setting up what you are willing to experience.  If you do not wish to experience feeling invaded, just call on Armadillo medicine.

A clue to how to proceed is to make a circle on a piece of paper and see it as a medicine shield.  In the body of the shield, write all that you are desiring to have, do, or experience.  Include all things that give you joy.  This sets up boundaries that allow only these chosen experiences to be a part of your life.  These boundaries become a shield that wards off the things which are undesirable to you.  The shield reflects what you are and what your will is to others on an unconscious level.  

Outside of the shield you may put what you are willing to experience ‘by invitation only.’  For example, a visit from a long lost relative or criticism from friends, or people needing handouts.

If Armadillo has waddled in, it is time to define your space….  It may be time to ask yourself the following questions:

1)  Am I honoring the time I need for my personal enjoyment?

2)  Do others treat me like a doormat?

3)  Why do I always get upset when I’m taken for granted?

4)  Is there a reason for my being a ‘yes’ person?

All of the answers to these questions relate to setting up boundaries: what you will and won’t do; what makes you feel uncomfortable and what is comforting to you.  How you react in any circumstance has to do with your ability to be objective ….

If you have no boundaries, you are like a sponge.  It will seem as if all the feelings in a room full of people must be yours.  Ask yourself if you are really feeling depressed, or if this feeling actually belongs to the person you are talking to.  Then allow Armadillo’s armor to slice in-between, giving you back your sense of self.

Contrary:

Go ahead, roll up and hide.  This, sarcastically, is the message of reversed Armadillo.  You may think the only way to win in your present situation is to hide or to pretend that you are armor-coated and invincible, but this is not the way to grow.  It is better to open up and find the value and strength of your vulnerability.  You will experience something wonderful if you do.

Vulnerability is the key to enjoying the gifts of physical life.  In allowing yourself to feel, a myriad of expressions are made available.  For instance, a true compliment is an admiration flow of energy.  If you are afraid of being hurt and are hiding from feeling anything, you will never feel the joy of admiration from others.

The key is in allowing Armadillo to help you to stop hiding, and to use Armadillo’s  armor to deflect negative energies.  In this way you are able to accept or reject any feeling, action, or energy flow without having to hide from it.

The underside of Armadillo is soft, but its armor will protect this softness if the boundaries are in place.  Hiding from your true feelings and fearing failure or rejection will amplify our need for cast-iron protection.  You have the power to rid yourself of these doubts and to touch the deepest part of beingness.  You will know you are doing the right thing.  Whether it is communicating, or painting, or surfing – the creation belongs to you.

The only real rejection is in not trying to break out of the armor you have used to protect yourself.  Is the armor now becoming a jail, and your fears the jailer?”

            Another Find-my-Grand Dog photo.  He is short (like many of us) so he jumps up onto things for a better view of his surroundings.  (Who wouldn’t?!)

front yard views
Highly alert!

Today’s Deck:

Medicine Cards – The Discovery Of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson illustrated by Angela C Werneke

Tomorrow:

notes I took on my walk that I’ve run out of time for and a few pictures from Seattle that I forgot about.

11 thoughts on “Open, or Shut.

  1. The watch is a touch-screen (touch-face?) LED display; when activated, it displays a blinking white LED for the hour (the “small hand”) and a contiguous band of blue LEDs for the minutes (ending in the position of the “big hand”).

    To answer a prior question, the gun is a pistol because of the (relatively) short (9.2″) barrel and lack of a shoulder stock. It doesn’t matter what caliber a gun is or what magazines it uses; the physical construction is what determines its classification. That’s why a pistol-caliber rifle is still a rifle, even though it’s basically a big-ass pistol with a shoulder stock.

    ~
    That was perfect. Thank you!
    Mom

    9:55 p.m.
    6-22-12

      1. That time the puns were intentional…

        ~
        And also,
        highly appropriate.
        J

        9:58 p.m.
        6-22-12

    1. Thank you. And, okay, that probably would have been a little long to tweet. However, it would have made many interesting smaller tweets. For example:

      The gun is a pistol because of the short barrel and lack of a shoulder stock.

      It doesn’t matter what caliber it is, or what magazine it uses.

      The physical construction is what determines its classification.

      A pistol caliber rifle is still a rifle.

      Even if it’s just a big-ass pistol with a shoulder stock.

      It’s almost like poetry.
      Or a book title: CALIBER DOESN’T MATTER: THE JD OLSEN CHRONICLES
      (However, your publisher would make you change it to CALIBER MATTERS, because it’s catchier, thereby negating your very point. Don’t go into writing.)

      ~
      There totally needs to be
      The J.D. Olsen Chronicles.
      No doubt about it, you’ve struck gold with this one!
      J

      10:02
      6-22-12

  2. Too messages the same today. This:1) Am I honoring the time I need for my personal enjoyment?
    And in the book I’m reading and loving – Jacked Up by Erin McCarthy, the heroine decides: “She was going to make fun her bitch.”
    Soon as I read that I knew, that’s me in July. I’m going to make fun my bitch.
    Very glad that you have ‘A’. And Max looks adorable out playing with the flamingos.

    ~
    Go, enjoy, have fun!!! Dammit. 😉
    J

    10:05 p.m.
    6-22-12

  3. (((HUGS))) I hope today’s catharsis allows you to release some of that old shit, so you don’t have to carry it around anymore. We’re getting close to the Venus stationary direct (June 27th), so issues of love and relationships (including relationship with self) are still coming up for release. Also, “Venus sextile Uranus is within one degree orb from June 18 to July 8. This is very fortunate and suggests major breakthroughs in those relationship issues which have been causing problems” ( http://darkstarastrology.com/venus-retrograde/).

    Lovely pond! Looks like a wonderful thing to enjoy for a while!

    Ohhh, the watch is cool! (Thanks to J.D. for explaining how it works… and beautiful use of the word “contiguous.”)

    Ack, yes, very appropriate card! I’m afraid my soft underbelly is exposed tonight, too… well, not “afraid,” it is what it is, and, well, there it is…

    Maximum height for flamingo protection!

    ~
    Thank you, and thanks for the link. Yeah, this explains some things. I hope these sessions move things forward as well, I’m really so damn tired of the way it keeps playing out.
    (Past life much, anyone? Mother/daughter, daughter/mother bullshit sound familiar?)

    That kid of mine DOES have a way with words, doesn’t he? Well, I guess all three of them do.
    J

    10:10 p.m.
    6-22-12

    1. Delving deeper into astrology, as I have been lately, has really amazed me… Many times I have come across an article saying something about an influence that has already passed, or is ongoing, and I think about that period and go “yeah, shit, that was right on the money!” You’re so very welcome, and I, too, hope that this “breakthrough” period yields positive changes! Your introduction to Mercury retrograde is what got me reading more on the whole retrograde phenomenon, so thank you, too!

      And, yes, mother/daughter bullshit is what my present incarnation has centered on… so much bullshit that it is a large contributor to my intention to remain daughter- (and son-) less.

      Hmmm, they must get that from somewhere… wonder where that could be??? 😉

      ~
      Keep “delving” and then sharing what you find. It is beyond me, much like palmistry. I WANT to be able to do it, but it’s just not my branch to follow.
      J

      10:11 p.m.
      6-23-12

  4. I like Armadillo’s message, and definition of boundaries. Glad you had a good visit with A; how cool to have fish in the courtyard.

    ~
    I adore that there are still places in this ridiculous town I am blessed enough to discover anew. The building is at 10 and Mill, and it ain’t hardly new, by any means. Yet, there is a fountain, with fish,
    and serenity. Yes, very cool.
    J

    10:15 p.m.
    6-22-12

  5. Some of this taps into what I’ve been learning in my Shame e-class (which ended today). Vulnerability is essential. Boundaries are essential. But with the shame resilience, instead of attacks and harsh words rolling off of you, (because they seldom just roll off of me), you are able to process them and handle them quickly so they don’t send you into a bad place (aka “shame spiral”). But this card reminded me, in both positions, of my class and what I’ve learned. I still have the rest of the book to read, too.

    Glad you have *A*. I have cried on my therapist so many times, including some very serious sobbing. It’s wonderful to have a place where you feel safe enough to do that. You are making progress just by crying on your therapist. Good for you!

    ~
    Oh I feel safe enough to cry any damn place. Unfortunately, that’s sort of the problem. 😕
    J

    10:18 p.m.
    6-22-12

  6. I do love water fixtures, with or without fish. Glad you had a release of sorts today.

    Be nice to your feet! Been a little remiss about my own walking. 90 degrees with 80% humidity is too hot even for me. 🙂

    These cards are a bit long. But I found I like that for these cards. It’s a favorite deck.

    ~
    Me too, any time there’s the music of water moving, I’m on it!

    Not much I can do about my feet, they swell, they blister. We’ve done all we can, just the way of having hooves.

    The Animal Medicine definitions are long, but I love the stories as well. In this deck, they NEED to be wordy, I think.
    J

    10:21 p.m.
    6-22-12

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