Before I flipped our card over, earlier today, I had been thinking about continuing that “clutter” discussion.  But now, I’m only going to touch on it briefly, then REALLY let it go.  I simply don’t want to give my own self elf a miserable time over it.  Not worth the stress.  And not what our message says either.

             The word bothers me, on a purely technical level, because it’s too damn subjective.  Additionally, it’s harsh.  Also, in my experience, those people who say “de-cluttering makes me feel lighter” are also implying that they are better than me.  It’s painful.  And it’s never going to be the answer in MY life.  It hurts my feelings and makes me feel bad.  I don’t like feeling bad.

            Yes, I DO experience all of the ups and downs in life, but I refuse to go out and SEEK the negative ones.  Why would I?  Depression shows up on its own, who would go LOOKING for an excuse to pack it back home again?  So, that definition of Doreen’s was like stabbing me in the face.  If it helped some folks, excellent.  Good for you!  For me?  The opposite of positive.

              And that’s all we’re going to say about it.   Now, I really am done.  Let’s look at some pictures.  Yesterday’s event was my son’s early Mother’s Day gift.  We went to a tattoo convention.

            This time I remembered to use the camera in my pocket.  Sort of.  I mean I did, you can clearly see that.  The shots just didn’t turn out very well, and they weren’t of things we purchased* or spent a lot of time looking at.  It’s an odd dynamic there, lots of people working and lots of folks missing key bits of clothing.

*Not to be all mysterious and shit, but I can’t show you some of what we ended up with because those items aren’t all mine, and the individuals who they do belong to haven’t seen them yet.  It’s unlikely, but possible, that sharing the specifics here could spoil some surprises.  So you get OTHER, less terrific, views instead.  For now.

              The woman who ran this booth was awesome.  (This was just one side, it was bigger and full of more than you can see here.)  She lives in San Francisco, but if originally from Australia (!!!) and travels around doing shows like ours.

Art.

           The last time we went there was a separate room for the painting and artistic displays.  There was less this year (or possibly they were just smaller), so now it’s all in one place.

             We saw several of these on books, and what I liked best was that the pages were not destroyed to make it all work.  There’s lots of artsy creations out now that cut up everything and ruin the book.   I can’t stand to look at them.  To me, that’s death of a story.

             Here’s the specifics and vital info, which I nearly forgot to get a photo of.  Thanks J.D. for the reminder, and the entire wonderfully, inky day!

              On our altar this afternoon nothing threw itself at me, and there were no bonus cards.

“Tenderness  ~

Speak gently to yourself.

Cherish the child within.”

            This illustration is by the same person who did that last one I loved so much.  And she did the box art for this deck as well.  I like the color tones and the celestial qualities here, but I’m not a fan of that little girl’s dress.  It looks choke-y and uncomfortable.   Also, the doll is bothersome.  But otherwise, it’s fairly soothing.

             Plus, when the Universe says things like this, I listen.  Our self-talk is much more powerful than we realize and we are all far too critical.  The old saying about being our own harshest/worst critic is true for just about everyone, women in particular.  Let’s make the most of this Tenderness message and give ourselves a break right now. 

               That exquisite rendition of the crescent moon (and the mention of clutter removal) reminds me, I promised to talk about Phases recently, and I haven’t done that yet.  Here’s what I said in ONE of the posts where I covered this previously:

…. Dark Moon…. as the kids were growing up we called it the Recycle Moon.  That big black hole is where you toss things you need to get rid of, then it transforms and comes back out the other side (on the Full Moon) in its positive form.  Throw anything in there, negativity, ill health, debt, lack of motivation or inspiration.  Then sit back and wait for the results.

           In expanding further, it’s about the turning from dark to light, and day to night, subconscious to conscious, the very basics of transformation.  We are cyclical creatures, and we’re mostly made of salt water, like the oceans, so we ebb and flow with Mother Moon, as the seas do. 

             We need to recognize when we are strong and when we need to rest.  When we are creating and when we are simply recycling the used-up back into the reborn.  Staying aware of what the planets are doing, mostly our own moon, is a good way of staying in touch with ourselves.

             When the Dark Moon is a day or two away, gather up the trash and recyclables and prepare for transitions.  Making the most of metaphorical tidy opportunities.  When it gets to the other side, and is gathering momentum in the constructing direction, begin the phase of creating and renewal.

Today’s Deck:

Self-Care Cards by Cheryl Richardson

LateNight Link:  my Hurricane and some friends have created a new tumblr.  See what they’re up to and think about contributing.  (Aside to Han, there is no back/next or last/previous button that I could find.  Just sayin’ -it’s a valuable addition.)

 

11 thoughts on “Ease and Care.

  1. Yes! Why run to meet trouble when it will find you out when it will. 😦
    It’s so hard to ignore the mean little voices which try to guilt us into feeling less. But the idea of chucking all the bad / twisted out of shape nonsense into the black void and having it come back smoothed out and renewed is so comforting, so positive. Thank you for sharing – I just love that.

    ~
    See why lunar work is so much fun? And,
    you’re welcome.
    J

    4:11 a.m.
    5-1-12

  2. I like the symolism of the new moon also. There was a “poster” floating on Facebook for a while that I have to go dig up. It was a great comment on the use of language with kids, and had to do with “it is hard to fix the words that harm a kid when they grow up; choose your words wisely” but was better than that. I will go look. Should and ought can be mean words…

    ~
    I’d love to see this. Thanks.
    J

    10:01 p.m.
    5-1-12

  3. OT but I thought of you when I read this:
    “Tart cherry juice: Tart cherry juice delivers antioxidants that mop up the harmful free radicals produced when you exercise. And research shows that a daily dose of cherry juice may help ease inflammation that causes sore muscles. A 2010 study in the Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition found that runners who downed 24 ounces of tart cherry juice (about 480 calories) for seven days before a long-distance race, and again on race day, reported fewer aches afterward than runners who drank a placebo. Skip the juice right before or while you’re exercising, though: fructose, the primary sugar in fruit, takes longer to digest than other sugars (like those in sports drinks), so drinking juice before or during exercise may cause stomach cramps.”
    This might explain why I have craved cherries for a couple of years now. I used to crave blackberries when I was anemic. BB have the perfect combo of iron and the vit c you need to process the iron.


    ~
    Oh wow, I love cherry juice. But I’m wondering about the “tart” specifics. And yes, blackberry juice is right up there as well!

    I just saw a piece recently on how chocolate milk (cow’s, I’m guessing) is being cheered about all over the place as the perfect after-work-out beverage, so this just adds to the intrigue. Thank you!
    J

    10:06 p.m.
    5-1-12

  4. Beliefs and self-talk play a starring role in cognitive-behavioral therapy. They are what cause us to feel what we feel. We don’t get upset because UPS delivered a damaged box; we get upset because we start telling ourselves how they ‘always’ damage our boxes and i can’t stand that they deliver a damaged box because then I have to check it out before they leave and they shouldn’t damage my boxes and that means they are bad and awful and I just can’t stand it … and there you are, all upset. Rather than thinking “oh damn, a damaged box. Now I need to go through it to make sure nothing inside is damaged. What an inconvenience.” Emotionally charged language with shoulds and always causes you to feel bad and helpless and anxious and depressed and angry. Rational, non-emotional language doesn’t. Learning to do the rational bit is difficult, but it’s worth it to stop feeling anxious and angry and depressed.

    As the wise folks say: no one can make you feel anything. Only you can do that. Used to piss me off when people said that because some said it in rather judging tones. But taken without the concept of judging you, it’s correct. And you are human when you succumb to the emotional language. We all have to learn, at some point, how to do the rational, non-upsetting thinking. It doesn’t come as naturally. I know. I’m working very hard at it and it isn’t coming as quickly as I’d like.

    1. “‘no one can make you feel anything. Only you can do that.’ Used to piss me off when people said that because some said it in rather judging tones.” and also because it is frequently said to justify having just said something really hurtful or mean. But great summary of the issue, thanks for the examples, Skye. I find it so helpful when other people write about this stuff- it’s hard to know how else to think when all you know is critical self-talk. It really helps to have some concrete examples of what a different kind of thinking sounds like.

      1. Ooooo, yeah. “and also because it is frequently said to justify having just said something really hurtful or mean.” Don’t you just love the “I can say whatever I want, it’s your problem if you don’t like it.” attitude. And I say “Thanks!” to Skye as well.

  5. apologies for harping on the clutter issue. 🙂 I’m slowly becoming aware of how critical my self-talk is, ‘tenderness’ is not often anywhere in the picture of how I deal with myself. timely card.

    ~
    I really liked that it was Tenderness too, rarely my Go To word as well.

    No worries about your questions. It’s obviously something that I need to deal with.
    At some point. 😉
    J

    10:10 p.m.
    5-1-12

  6. You clearly feel tender towards your “clutter” … in every sense. Maybe your chi just needs turbulance and eddies to be “right”?

    ~
    It very well might. 😛
    J

    10:13 p.m.
    5-1-12

  7. With you on the clutter issue. My only problem now is I have too many “Someplace Safe” spots.

    I wish I could take my self-talk and stuff it into a sound proof room somewhere.

    Like the “Recycle Moon” thought. I should try and pay attention for the next one. The question is, how hard to you have to pitch all your crap to get it to stay up there? 🙂


    ~
    My mental picture is of walking up a ladder to the Dark/New/Recycle Moon, stepping through the hole, with buckets of Whatever Needs Transforming in both hands, and emerging out the other side of the Full Moon with no buckets, but I’m thinner, healthier, and have pockets bursting with cash. 😉
    J

    10:19 p.m.
    5-1-12

    1. ha. that cracked me up. thinner, healthier and pockets bursting with cash. I’ll try that.

      ~
      Hey, no reason to aim low in a case like that. 😉
      J

      2:43 a.m.
      5-2-12

  8. Thank you for the dark moon explanation… I’ll definitely be trying that on the next one! Speaking of the moon, did you know that Saturdays’ full moon is a supermoon?!? This is when the moon gets as close to us as she can, therefore appearing bigger than usual ( http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/space/story/2012-05-02/supermoon-full-moon-may/54691328/1 ). That’s 11:35 pm EDT, so 8:35 pm for us West Coasters, and also right after she rises. And its on 5/5… another consciousness portal day (according to Henry, etc.)… which is actually a 5/5/5 day (add up the numbers in 2012 for the last 5)… so, transformation energies, and super cool for you Pentacle People! 🙂

    ~
    We have the Lunar facts up there in that box, but only just the basics. I had not heard it was going to be another Super Moon. Cool! Thanks for sharing this. I’ll go check it out. (And I’m very behind on my Henry updates, dammit.)
    J

    4:03 a.m.
    5-3-12

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