Several of you noticed (and remarked) that I sort of skated past any explanation of my recent decision. I wasn’t being mysterious or even trying to tease you, I just knew that it would take a lot more words than I can jam in to one post. Also, I have it straight in my head, but that doesn’t mean I can explain it clearly in words.
The house is littered with “diet” and “no more” diet books right now (and several more are on the library request list). Apparently I have been somewhat obsessing over this topic*. Ya think?! Well, as it turns out, I’m learning from them all, and it’s a slow process. Reasearch takes time! And materials!
*Says that guy I’m married to and his overly damn smart kids.
Here’s a passage that helped me come to one of my conclusions. From Dr Judith Beck:
“It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or discouraged at times. It’s natural to have doubts about whether you can keep doing what you know you have to do, but it’s not okay to let these thoughts overwhelm you. When you have discouraging thoughts, you have a choice. You can allow them to erode your motivation, give up, and abandon your goal. Or you can vigorously respond to these sabotaging thoughts, feel better, become more motivated, and continue to work toward your goal.”
Good, right? “…vigorously respond…” Terrific way to come at this from a positive angle, don’t you think? Yeah, me too. And beautifully simple. Very down-to-earth and reasonable. She is like this throughout the entire book, and I like that lot. Sadly, she isn’t sitting right next to me, and as Dan says, swatting the cookie from my hand.
From the previous chapter, where we are giving ourselves a helpful response to sabotaging thoughts:
“I have a choice: I can struggle with what I have to do and feel bad, or I can accept that this is the way it is. It doesn’t mean that I like it. There are many things I don’t like in life. I don’t particularly like paying bills. I definitely don’t like getting up so early for work. I don’t like straightening up the house. But I accept them. I don’t struggle with these tasks, so they don’t cause me much discomfort.”
Now, here’s where we part ways. I disagree that we should all just accept the way it is. I think if we enlist some of those Extraordinary Life affirmations to help us see the blessings in things like services provided by those bills we all pay, and gratitude that we HAVE a fucking house to straighten up, then we are one step ahead in the Happiness Department.
It also comes down to my recent decision. I am willing to deflect, distract, accept (but only briefly and for a limited amount to time), and acknowledge the unfairness in life. I accept that I am displeased and uncomfortable in my body. AND I am wiling to do something about it. However, I am NOT going to say that I can live this way forever. I’ve set some not-outlandish goals, attainable hopefully, that I am going to aim for in the next month. After that, I’ll reassess. I’ll monitor my progress, as I have been, and see where I land.
I will also be employing the Beck suggestions and working on reframing those sabotaging thoughts, bringing into the equation what we’ve learned from Cheryl and Louise. Side note here, I also plan on finishing BOTH books and sharing so we can ALL learn a wee bit more in these areas.
For now though, I have to go get Dan and Max up from their nap so we can head over the hill and toss some meat, plus not-meat, on the grill with my parents. (In the next few posts I’ll also be telling you WHAT I’m eating right now, and what I’m not. Because I know you guys actually care.)
Here’s what I woke up to this afternoon. A parade of my flamingos all lined up along the front porch deck. There had been some yard maintenance happening. Early.
Oh, did I not mention that Max stayed over last night? His girl had a late-ish event and an early morning work shift, plus there are moving-house events going on at their place right now so she delivered us a guest. He usually sleeps super well (remember, he was trained by his Nana) but for some reason he was up before noon today. I slept through this. Daniel did not. Hence the pre-dinner nap.
On our card altar is another Animal helper from the Land Category, but since we just did that one recently, I’ll skip it this time. Feel free to scroll back if you feel it necessary, it’s only a few days or so.
Banish loneliness by reaching out to special friends.
Tawny monarch of the Savannah, Lion does not waste her days in needless physical exertion, but conserves energy by sleeping, resting, and companionably lounging. Working long, exhausting hours for the money to purchase prestige goods leaves little time for the pleasures of friendship.
Loneliness is spirit-diminishing – designer clothes make poor companions. Lion has padded into your cards to remind you how vital friends and neighbors really are. Reach out to those around you and be open to others.”
Yes, that IS a male in the illustration and yet the definition says “she” – I noticed that as well. I’m choosing to ignore it though.
As much as I think of my crabby shellfish self elf as being anti-social, I do like visiting with friends and family from time to time. It’s the balance of that solitude and togetherness which is key.
Lastly, the mention here of working for the mere fact of having name brand shit escapes me, just as that paragraph above about having to get up too early for work. This is a concept that I have never understood. When we visualize our perfect lives we need to keep those factors in mind. To do what we love for money is a gift in itself. But it’s also something available to all of us. Reach for that too, as you reach for your well-balanced relationships.
Animal Messages – Seek Inspiration From Your Animal Guides by Susie Green
5 mile bike ride was sweaty. Very sweaty. But not horrible.