The Universe in Re-runs, and I’m crabby again.

            As fabulous as my new color and header are making me (and really, I’m pretty pleased with my self elf over the entire event) I am also feeling very uncomfortable at the moment.  As I mentioned yesterday, my walk wasn’t great (although my feet weren’t made worse, yay Wrightsocks!) and today, even though my bike ride was fairly easy, I’m still kinda meh.  Plus, my eyes are bothering me. 

           Dan says it’s a high pollen time of year (the cars and porch are covered in green dust right now) so that is probably what’s causing this irritation (or contributing to it, anyway).  I don’t get allergy symptoms (I stubborned those bastards away years ago) but we did both have a weird headache last night that sort of got better with the Trifecta of Pain Relief and a few Sudafed.

Going Away Gear

           Also though, I’m in a bad mood about some work related crap of his.  Oh sure, it’s all helpful and safety and blah blah blah whatEVER.  But it’s costing ME because it’s on his days off.  No fun outings, no cozy couple shopping, no conspiratorial snarking at the pool tomorrow, no us time at all

              He just works and then goes to do this shit then works some more.  Why yes, I AM bitter.  (And no, that picture is not upside-down, it’s a sleeping bag and his carry-all bag sitting on one of the ugly living room couches, silently taunting me.)

              Here’s our card draw.  I’ll try to make sense of it once I get the definitions all typed in.

“The Outsider  ~  5 of Rainbows: The Physical

The small child in this card is standing on one side of a gate, looking through it.  He is so small, and so convinced that he cannot get through, he cannot see that the chain holding the gate is not locked; all he has to do is open it.

Whenever we feel ‘left out’ or excluded, it brings up this feeling of being a small, helpless child.  It is not surprising, as the feeling is deeply rooted in our earliest childhood experiences.  The problem is that, because it is so deeply rooted, it plays over and over again, like a tape, in our lives. 

You have an opportunity now to stop the tape, to quit tormenting yourself with ideas that you are somehow not ‘enough’ to be accepted and included.  Recognize the roots of these feelings in the past, and let go of the old pain.  It will bring you the clarity to see how you can open the gate and enter that which you most long to become.

Projections  ~  7 of Water: Emotions

In the cinema hall you look at the screen, you never look at the back – the projector is at the back.  The film is not there really on the screen, it is just a projection of shadow and light….

The man and woman in this card are facing each other, yet they are not able to see each other clearly.  Each is projecting an image they have constructed in their minds, covering the real face of the person they are looking at.

All of us can get caught up in projecting movies of our own making onto the situations and people surrounding us.  It happens when we are not fully aware of our own expectations, desires, and judgments; instead of taking responsibility for them and owning them, we try to attribute them to others. 

A projection can be devilish or divine, disturbing or comforting, but it is a projection nonetheless – a cloud that prevents us from seeing reality as it is.  The only way is to recognize the game.  When you find a judgement arising about another, turn it around: does what you see in others really belong to you?  Is your vision clear, or clouded by what you want to see?

Healing  ~  King of Water  ~  Mastery of Emotions

It is a time when the deeply buried wounds of the past are coming to the surface, ready and available to be healed.  The figure in this card is naked, vulnerable, open to the loving touch of existence.  The aura around his body is full of light, and the quality of relaxation, caring, and love that surrounds him is dissolving his struggle and suffering.  Lotuses of light appear on his physical body, and around the subtle energy bodies that healers say surround each of us.  In each of these subtle layers appears a healing crystal of pattern.

When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others.  In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.” 

           Is it just me, or does this seem very much like living as your genuine self and letting go of old crap?  Some more, and again?  Because it sounds as though we’re getting a repeat message here, in summation, of our past week.

            I very much like all of these cards, the first one being similar to how the Devil card appears in my deck.  Once we realize that WE are the only ones holding ourselves back, the freedom in front of us is endless with amazing possibilities.

            In that Projections card, well, I’ve said it to death for days now.  No more masks, no more fooling ourselves or others.  That “…when you find a judgement arising about another…” is a very cool addition to this idea of honesty.  Perfect that it falls into place here.

           This version of their King is also lovely.  We can always us healing and soothing.  The illustration and message reminded me of Reiki practitioners and acupuncturists, both of which are hugely beneficial.  And this one again is repeating that mantra of: Truth.

           Overall, I’d say that for me, this feels like a gentle, double nudge from the Universe.  On the one hand, get over your damn self, and on the other, be who you are but do it with a higher purpose in mind.   Which, ya know, is just basically an excellent way to live.

Today’s Deck:

Osho Zen Tarot

 

14 thoughts on “The Universe in Re-runs, and I’m crabby again.

  1. I’m sorry that Dan is away more than you like right now but I think it’s terrific that you still miss him when he’s gone. Ahh true love. Sweet.
    I didn’t get much out of the cards because the second one instantly sent me away to another place and time. The second time I ever encountered my good friend Pete G. We were at the midnight movie at the Lobo Theatre in Albquerque, NM. I don’t remember what was playing but it was a fun, fun night. PG told me to snag seats in the balcony and then disappeared for a few minutes. He returned, took off his leather jacket and sat down.
    When the projector was turned on it projected a giant anarchy symbol on the screen to a great deal of applause and catcalls. The projectionist turned it back off and came around to remove the giant symbol that someone, wonder who, had taped on the window the movie was projected through.
    See, fun night. Big sigh.


    ~
    We truly are disgusting in our togetherness, but we’ve been like this all along, so there’s no getting away from it now. 😉

    THAT was what you were supposed to get from this draw. Thank you for sharing the story, this too, is part of our message. Tomorrow you can look at the other cards, they aren’t going anywhere.
    J

    4:13 a.m.
    4-16-12

  2. Boo on no alone time for you & Dan, and on low-energy days! Mars just turned from retrograde to direct on Saturday ( http://www.lynnkoiner.com/astrology-articles/mars-retrograde-2009-2010 ). Since it is the ruler of physical energy & stamina, that could be a good reason. I felt low on energy Saturday & Sunday, too… thought it was because of stuff going on
    in my life, but when you mentioned it tonight I thought of Mars, and, there it was! Well we should start feeling more lively as the shadow effect weakens. 🙂

    Wow, these cards all speak to me at such a DEEP level! Really, this is exactly what I have been dealing with, and doing. What a great validation that I am on the right path! I love how this “When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole” is the perfect follow-up to the Projections card, reinforcing that it is time to release the projections. Truth truth truth. Follow your truth. Excellent advice! And “be who you are but do it with a higher purpose in mind” is a perfect summation!

    ~
    That medical astrologer is wondefully informative! Awesome info, thanks! And yes, it does explain so much, doesn’t it?

    I think that being ourselves is one of our most important tasks, and when we can aim that valuable (and powerful!) honesty higher than just us, it benefits so many. Like Henry said, make a difference! 🙂
    J

    4:18 a.m.
    4-16-12

  3. So sorry you don’t get to see Dan enough at the moment, not good, more than enough grounds for a grump. But like Judy says so great you still love and miss him after all this time!

    ~
    I was (and still sort of am) in a grump, true. Whether it’s reasonable or not is still sort of up for debate. (Great word for it though!)
    But he’s going to request a bonus day off closer to next weekend, so that will help.
    J

    4:21 a.m.
    4-16-12

  4. I must confess, ’tis I who am stealing Dan. We are putting on a presentation in Mayberry on teen drinking driver awareness that will occupy us for about 36 hours when all is said and done. Mrs. Denial isn’t thrilled about it either, in the “FWIW” category.

    I hate general malaise days also. Mrs. Denial has had them since our return and does not seem to be bouncing back from her jet lag. I have done a bit better, but still am not back to 100%. I do look forward to a return to a normal schedule on Windsday.

    Still not fond of Osho’s cards, although this reading isn’t too bad.

    ~
    It is you. But I’m technically blaming Dave. Because I can. 😦

    No doubt much of Mrs Denial’s attitude (and less than perky emotional condition) right now stems from her feeling the same as I do. Missing her spouse. I know that you guys spend gobs of time together, as we do, because the two of you are your own best friends, as he is mine and I am his. Just a thought. From someone who’s been there. (And is there now, obviously.)

    And hey, do you have family MOVING here soon?! When you and Barney are not all busy saving lives and shit, please converse about some meet-up ideas. Dinner on a Sunday perhaps?
    J

    4:27 a.m.
    4-16-12

  5. The Captain has been traveling a lot recently, and was gone almost four days last week. Then we normally divide and conquer on the weekends, so we haven’t seen each other in what feels like weeks. Ugh. I feel your pain. I get cranky when I’m over-tired and over-worked, so by Sunday night I’m no fun. But today is Monday, so NDND!


    ~
    Gah! Those men and their damn jobs!
    But hey, be careful though, don’t do what I did. Once I wished (loudly and with MUCH ENERGY!) that Dan would stay home with me more… within a week he’d broken his arm and was on leave…. home with me alright!

    We need to get this cross stitched or embroidered or tattooed:
    NDND! (I’ll go make a new box to put it on here someplace.)
    J

    11:39 p.m.
    4-16-12

  6. I don’t really have any comments on the cards; they are percolating inside of me. But I do sympathize with your not getting to see Dan on his days off. Bummer. Even if it is for a good cause.

    ~
    Bummer, perfect.
    J

    11:53 p.m.
    4-16-12

  7. “this feels like a gentle, double nudge from the Universe. On the one hand, get over your damn self, and on the other, be who you are but do it with a higher purpose in mind.” This is sooooo me and while I feel that I’ve been doing a good job… I can always do better and the gentle nudge is much appreciated.

    ~
    Exactly what I was thinking! We can always do better.
    J

    11:55 p.m.
    4-16-12

  8. I’ll just second Judie on the cards.

    And I sympathize about Dan. Before the days when he could work on work crap from home (we now have wireless hookup paid for by his company), my husband, in times of ‘fun’, would come home, fall into bed at like 2 am and be up and out 6 or 7 ish. If end of the year crap was going badly, I would bring him clothes at work cause he would just sleep on a couch there. It sucked.

    It’s the pollen in your eyes. Lots of little prickly scratchy things running around in your eyes can cause irritation and inflammation. (You should see what pollen looks like under the microscope.

    http://www.google.com/search?q=pollen+under+electron+microscope&hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=dFKMT8mfJ4aOgweD5oXfCQ&ved=0CEEQsAQ&biw=1600&bih=754)

    You could try rinsing them with warm distilled water occassionly and see if that helps. Or if you want to spend bucks you could go to the store and look for an eye rinse. This stuff also floats around and gets in your food, so you’re digesting it as well. Isn’t nature just soooo much fun sometimes?

    ~
    Boo. Those long days are just too freaking difficult. On them, and on the rest of us. So glad your guy can work from home now!

    Ohmygawd that MUST be what’s in my eyes, and NO WONDER they are so painful, I can FEEL all of those damn points. What horrible wee beasties pollen is!

    No, don’t care if they’re all over everything else, or in what I eat. I’m so mad at food right now I don’t give a shit if it’s all full of prickly balls.
    (Thanks for the link though!)
    J

    11:59 p.m.
    J
    4-16-12

  9. I also miss my Sweet Babou whenever he isn’t within reach. Trying to decide if that is cute, or grossly codependant …

    ~
    Well, I was GOING to say that we’re cute, but now Delia had to come in and say something else. Although, she did add an explanation as to WHY, so maybe we can go with that.
    J

    12:03 a.m.
    4-17-12

  10. I like all three of these cards – so much to learn and apply from each. 🙂

    ~
    When I got this deck we (meaning my Team: guides etc) decided to go with three each time. Not sure why, since we don’t do it with any other cards, but there ya go.
    J

    12:07 a.m.
    4-17-12

  11. Yeah, what Judie and Robin (and others) said. Great cards. I know some of us don’t like these cards, but I do. I may have to see if I can find this deck.

    Funny so many spouses gone these days– Dean just got back from a four-day trip back east. But unlike you, I needed a break. THings have been intense lately. And it worked– atmosphere considerably lightened around here.

    ~
    The deck has a different feel to it, that’s for sure. But once I learned about it, and researched a bit more about Osho (and the place where he went after here), it was helpful (for me anyway) to see much more in the illustrations, definitions, and the over all depth. Certainly an alternative slant on an already alternative topic.

    Glad for the lovely lightening! We do what works. 🙂
    J

    12:11 a.m.
    4-17-12

  12. Bummer on the missing Dan. @Fokker, it’s grossly codependent. The way a good marriage should be. 😉

    ~
    Your answers to these things always make me smile. 😛
    J

    12:14 a.m.
    4-17-12

  13. In re Delia’s comment–I would just say that the science is also now lining up on this side. That in a good relationship we “attach” deeply, which soothes us, heals us, helps us face the world.

    Sorry that you’ll be sans each other, but happy that you have someone to miss. 🙂

    ~
    Oh nice one! Thanks for this, very cool.
    J

    10:12 p.m.
    4-17-12

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