It wasn’t a Scrambled Brain Day, but it started off feeling just as bad.  Something I’d like to NOT do anymore.  I just wanted to yell at the Universe and say, “hey, yeah ya know what?  No more.  Really no thank you, I get it, just stop please.”  I felt unstable (not like I am usually emotionally unstable, that’s actually a version of normal for me).  I felt uneasy.  Like I was waiting for some horrific thing to just fall on me.

          The dentist’s office didn’t let me come in.  I am beyond angry.  We WILL be dealing with it tomorrow.  It’s a 49 second job that will inconvenience NO ONE, and it MUST be done now.  The longer this bridge is out the more damage is being done and the more discomfort I am in.  So… there’s that.

          Today was also the appointment I’d set up for the tree killers to come and trim, under my scrutiny.  Much talking was had.  Fortunately, very little cutting was done.  It was tense and uncomfortable.  And hot outside first damn thing in my day.  (I would have said “first damn thing in the morning,” but we all know that on the clock everyone else uses, that was not really morning, just MY morning.)   So…. there was that too.

          After the bad phone call about not getting my bridge re-glued, and the trauma and anxiety of the tree ordeal, I was just sort of vibrating.  Daniel is reconstructing our back yard fence in bits and pieces right now.  So I went out there to stand next to him, and soak up some sanity.  We talked about all of this, and he, in his reasonable and now very familiar way, allowed me to work this all out.  He’s good at this.  He’s had a ton of practice.

          The other issue we have been dealing with is a lack of finances, which equals food stress.  (We can’t afford to buy any right now, and he gets kinda hungry, what with not being allowed to eat the dog vegetables and all.  I can’t seem to stop the girls from doing that though.)  The rest of our conversation had to do with how we were going to figure out a way to manage some dinner later.  We settled on an easy and low anxiety solution.  Then I pulled some weeds.

           My mother does what she calls her Therapy Work, when she’s in a situation she can’t really figure out, or can’t fix from her spot out there in the countryside.  She wanders around her yard, talking to (or yelling at) her God, and yanking up weeds.  It’s a joke now with all of us.  If we are struggling, just go out and pull weeds.  The physical task is very instant accomplishment and satisfying.  You can see it happen right in front of you: originally a messy flower bed full of weeds, now all tidy. 

            Or in my case, the front pathway (which we have always called The Fairy Walk) with scattered weeds poking up in the gravel, then you yank those out and it looks much better (after I spread the gravel around in a tidy way).  I did this until it got even hotter, then I went inside and read some more of Russell Brand’s book.  (He’s actually written like four or something, several are from when he had a column about some English soccer teams, and the most recent publication is the follow-up to the one I have now.)

           Then I felt ready for my walk.  Dan has that fence work to get through so I went on my own.  Same route as last week.  It’s exactly 50 minutes.  I had barely gotten down our own road when I spotted a herd of turkeys.   We recently found out that there are two separate family units.  This was the smaller group, only about 4 or 5 in their flock. 

            I saw 6 very large and very black feathers as I trudged and one tiny fluffy gray kind.  My ankle issues that came and went last week really wanted to come and stay today.  But I continued to say hello and work on banishing them.  It took longer this time, but eventually I pounded all the aches out.  This was what I got for my efforts.

          It was simply a For Sale sign.  Literally, a sign.  But it wasn’t there the last time I went by.  And it just makes me silly happy when I see my name on things.  I know, I’m a child.  Remember, this is not news.

           If you are able to click on this picture and see it bigger, do so.  There is a hammock in those shadows.  It’s been up for over a week in a yard near us.  And I can’t tell you know badly I want to just go over there and fling my wee self elf into it.

           One of the other things that helped me get through this peculiar feeling day was knowing that our card was really calming.  I’ve been looking forward to reading what it says and then typing it out here for hours now.  It is the last of our Wisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Deck, but we’ll go through it one more time.  Partly because it is just gorgeous to look at, and partly because we don’t have another one I want to replace it with.  Also, partly because Colette’s definitions are so well done.  And, I like it.

“The High Lord of Gratitude and Service  ~  selflessness, humility, conscious action.

The High Lord of Gratitude and Service has arrived to help you find your true purpose today.  Feeling gratitude for each moment you experience, and loving what is and what has been, will remind you that every breath you take holds a deep and profound awareness.  Through small actions and selfless service to another, you are automatically placed upon your highest path, whether you are immediately aware of it or not.  The presence of this Ally lets you know that you are on the correct path to fulfilling your desires.

You are also notified that your actions of service and attitude of gratitude will yield riches beyond your wildest dreams, as long as those riches are not the goal you have in mind.  Giving service with no thought of return is what’s required of you today.  This would also be a good time to write a list reminding yourself of all the things in your life and the world around you that you have to be grateful for.

If your question or situation refers to a relationship, let gratitude be your guide.  Be thankful for all you learn from this person.  Truly, there are no friends and no enemies, just teachers along life’s journey.  Be grateful for the laughter and even for the tears.  The attitude of gratitude is a magnet for true love in all forms.”

33 thoughts on “Dealing. And then Thanking.

  1. It’s so funny how lots of Betties have similar concerns at the same time. I just posted a new novel truths blog. One of the truths was:

    “Oh? Then explain to me how the world has benefitted from your presence in it. What have you ever done for anyone?” Scandal In Spring by Lisa Kleypas

    I asked the question, does the world have to benefit from my presence? Now the card says:
    “The High Lord of Gratitude and Service has arrived to help you find your true purpose today.”

    But maybe our true purpose is simply to live. To be. I’m beginning to think so.

    The $$ thing sucks. Especially when it interferes with eating. Love the sign and that hammock looks very inviting. Maybe when Dan gets done with your fence…just kidding.

    1. I always laugh when people tell me they don’t believe in the magic of the Universe or astrology or stuff I know to be true, because of exactly what you said. Look around, and you will see a common aspect in practically everyone you know or have heard of. Sure the economy sucks and cops don’t make any damn money, but that can’t be JUST all it is. Mercury is only one example right now.

      Will head over to Novel Truths right away! 😉

  2. See, if you would just encourage weeds like dandelions or purslane, you’d have dinner growing in your back yard.
    Yes, I admit it. I am weird enough that I will eat weeds that grow in my back yard and that I know have not been sprayed on. Why not? I tried growing fancy types of lettuce, and that that happened was I got some fat, happy aphids.
    I am jealous, very, very jealous, that you had a strong, handsome hunk who will help you with your back fence. If I had such a hunk (are you listening, Universe???), I would put up a six foot fence in the back and the side and thus feel somewhat encouraged to get another GSD.
    Of course, what I really want from the U. is a fence and a job. Then I’ll get a GSD.

    1. Oh we have certainly eaten out of the yard before (several of our yards had gardens and fruit trees), so no, you aren’t that weird. Or maybe I’m just as weird as you…. no, neither of us is weird, we are brilliant and resourceful and creative… yeah, that’s it!

      There are times in my day, nearly every day, when I look over at him and say Thank You to the Universe. 🙂
      And the neighbors do too.

      Okay, we need your job, then your fence, then a new GSD! (I love this idea so very much.)

  3. Truly, there are no friends and no enemies, just teachers along life’s journey.

    That sentence jumped out at me. After another ‘snarling’ day with kidney-stone co-worker it makes me want to scream in her face. “Teach me what ya got to teach me and be done with it.” Gratitude, think gratitude…I am thankful that she has a CE class and will be out for half a day. 😉

  4. I, too, get ludicrously excited to see my name on anything. I still look at those personalized keychain displays at theme parks to see if they have my name…which they never do, it’s always Lori or Laura. Husband, being called Michael, does not get my fascination with this.

    Like the pretty card. Lovely rosy light.

    1. I still say we need to cross stitch you a nice big Lora piece.

      Don’t give up hope though, we thought we’d never find one that said Hanna (spelled correctly) and we finally did… 20something years later, but we FOUND one. (None that say J.D. yet, but I am still searching.)

  5. I sympathize with that feeling of impending doom: I get it a lot. I think the Universe is being a pig toward you, denying you even the basics. I think you should yell at it, tell it to get in line. Perhaps one lesson to learn is to stand up for yourself in the face of overwhelming power, calmly and with confidence and knowledge that you are in the right. Just a thought

    1. That’s pretty much how Dan and “talk” these things out… examine the issue (or feeling), then go forward with the inherent knowledge that it WILL be perfect. Because, ya know, we ARE right!
      Thanks, I thought probably you would understand. 😉

  6. FGBVs and poor baby re the teeth. And re food. Hope that rectifies itself soonest.

    This card delivers things in a very Hindu/Buddhist way, there’s even a Lama with a lotus.

    “Giving service with no thought of return is what’s required of you today.  This would also be a good time to write a list reminding yourself of all the things in your life and the world around you that you have to be grateful for.”

    The former came up today with a teacher who helped me with my evaluation lesson. It went well, thanks to her input. And she insisted that it’s all about helping to develop me, she’s not looking for reward.

    As for the gratitudes, I was really grateful for support of people on Saturday and Sunday. I blogged this & networked socially about it ;-). And yesterday, this teacher helped me above the call of duty! Just goes to show, the more you are grateful for something and focus on that, the more good stuff we get.

    1. I saw this too Sarah. And really, I sort of held that first image I got when I flipped it over with me throughout the day. And, as Lora said, the calming and beautiful rosy light was most soothing.

      Exactly! It’s the Universal Law of positive attracting positve.

  7. So glad your walk was restorative. LOve your posts. Have been lurking around the edges. Need to check in. So the Grim came from Germany? Did he ever respond to German? Even tho I do wish for warmer evenings, yes i am content with the ‘pleasant’ weather in contrast to the rest of the country. My veggies and flowers are struggling tho.

    1. Great to hear from you! I’ve been kind of lurking around the edges too, watching your FB posts. The kids are moving again, I’ll let you know more when we get the deets. Not sure if they are going to closer to you or farther away (I only have a semi-lucid grasp on Seattle’s map in my head).

      Yes, Axel came from Germany, was born there and when Daniel called me the night he picked him up (near L.A.) he said, “I got our dog. He’s a German Shepherd from Germany.” So of course I asked, “does that mean he only speaks German?
      The answer is: yes!
      (But this is only ONE of the reason he has never listened to me.)

  8. Julie Julie Julie….come to my house and lay in my hammock or walk our loop or pull my weeds and get a hug, then eat some fish or crab or oysters or whatever seafood is filling our fridge! Please come, anyday, anytime. I miss you. 🙂
    Oh and I’m on a fudgesicle diet now, so we have those too! If I haven’t eaten them all……

    1. Okay you had me at “crab” but then…. how could ANYone turn down your fudgesicle diet offer? Thanks so much. 😀

      (Remember when your husband gave me crabs for my birthday? Or was it Gay’s husband? I forget, they are both so generous.)

      I miss you too, we’ll talk or text this week.

  9. Lora- you’re not the only one…I always check those things too, never has my name though, but one day it could happen.
    Julie- I have been in the no food boat before and it sucks, but you get amazingly resourceful at creating meals…rice is the best thing, you can eat it alone or it will go with anything you create, even just adding a little lemon juice to it works.
    I love that card and I think i’ve got the selfless thing pretty well down pat.

    1. When I finally found the one thing that had Hanny’s name on it she thought I had placed a special order somewhere, but no, it was just in a display at a local toy store. So…. it could happen for you and Lora! (And Delia too!)

      We do share the dog’s rice. 😉

  10. Lora & Kris, you’re not alone. They never have any Delia’s, either.

    I’m glad weeding is therapeutic for you. I wish I could say the same. Either way, I hope your eating dilemmas are solved (preferably by someone over there deciding to give the cops a raise).

    1. You kill folks off in your stories, I bet that’s just as helpful as a stress reliever.

      Sadly our county is completely screwed when it comes to the budget right now (a complicated and messed up system), we are concerned that The Son might even be laid off later in the year. It’s one of the most WRONG things in this country (and we know how very many of those are out there), teachers and cops are not valued, nor even acknowledged, for their sacrifices and choices.

  11. I picture you weeding the yard, coming across an old turnip, eating it ravenously, throwing it up, clenching your fist at the sky and declaring: “With Spirit as my witness I’ll never go hungry again!”

    Cut to Intermission.

    Sigh. Oh well, tomorrow IS another day.

  12. Through small actions and selfless service to another, you are automatically placed upon your highest path, ….

    You know, I have a problem with this. A big part of the mess I’ve been cleaning up is due to me being selfless and putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own. So that now they’re all trained to think their needs are more important than mine. I’ve been making vast strides toward IGNORING this pressure from others and doing what is important to me. I guess it’s all relative. One person needs to learn to be selfless, another needs to learn to tell people to take a flying …. well, you know what I mean. 🙂

    1. You have a great point. We need to begin from a place of self-love and honor, acknowledging how important we are, to ourselves, so that we may then be important to others. THEN we can hop on that selfless path, and ya know, share all of our learned goodness!

      There are always times when people need to be told to take that flying leap. 😛

  13. Why dont you eat some of the food in your cupboard? I know you have at least a few things in there, because I bought them for you!

    1. We have and we do. Sadly, even though you and I can live on cold cereal, pickles, and some assorted beans, your father (understandably so) requires a smidge more. (And he feels that he needs to eat several times a damn day.)

      Thank you for sharing your generous eXtreme couponing bounty with us. 😉

      (We appreciate you/it.)

      1. weirdo, doesnt he know that being poor means eating pickle sammiches, rice and beans, and bulk win-co pasta with canned tomato sauce?

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