It wasn’t a Scrambled Brain Day, but it started off feeling just as bad. Something I’d like to NOT do anymore. I just wanted to yell at the Universe and say, “hey, yeah ya know what? No more. Really no thank you, I get it, just stop please.” I felt unstable (not like I am usually emotionally unstable, that’s actually a version of normal for me). I felt uneasy. Like I was waiting for some horrific thing to just fall on me.
The dentist’s office didn’t let me come in. I am beyond angry. We WILL be dealing with it tomorrow. It’s a 49 second job that will inconvenience NO ONE, and it MUST be done now. The longer this bridge is out the more damage is being done and the more discomfort I am in. So… there’s that.
Today was also the appointment I’d set up for the tree killers to come and trim, under my scrutiny. Much talking was had. Fortunately, very little cutting was done. It was tense and uncomfortable. And hot outside first damn thing in my day. (I would have said “first damn thing in the morning,” but we all know that on the clock everyone else uses, that was not really morning, just MY morning.) So…. there was that too.
After the bad phone call about not getting my bridge re-glued, and the trauma and anxiety of the tree ordeal, I was just sort of vibrating. Daniel is reconstructing our back yard fence in bits and pieces right now. So I went out there to stand next to him, and soak up some sanity. We talked about all of this, and he, in his reasonable and now very familiar way, allowed me to work this all out. He’s good at this. He’s had a ton of practice.
The other issue we have been dealing with is a lack of finances, which equals food stress. (We can’t afford to buy any right now, and he gets kinda hungry, what with not being allowed to eat the dog vegetables and all. I can’t seem to stop the girls from doing that though.) The rest of our conversation had to do with how we were going to figure out a way to manage some dinner later. We settled on an easy and low anxiety solution. Then I pulled some weeds.
My mother does what she calls her Therapy Work, when she’s in a situation she can’t really figure out, or can’t fix from her spot out there in the countryside. She wanders around her yard, talking to (or yelling at) her God, and yanking up weeds. It’s a joke now with all of us. If we are struggling, just go out and pull weeds. The physical task is very instant accomplishment and satisfying. You can see it happen right in front of you: originally a messy flower bed full of weeds, now all tidy.
Or in my case, the front pathway (which we have always called The Fairy Walk) with scattered weeds poking up in the gravel, then you yank those out and it looks much better (after I spread the gravel around in a tidy way). I did this until it got even hotter, then I went inside and read some more of Russell Brand’s book. (He’s actually written like four or something, several are from when he had a column about some English soccer teams, and the most recent publication is the follow-up to the one I have now.)
Then I felt ready for my walk. Dan has that fence work to get through so I went on my own. Same route as last week. It’s exactly 50 minutes. I had barely gotten down our own road when I spotted a herd of turkeys. We recently found out that there are two separate family units. This was the smaller group, only about 4 or 5 in their flock.
I saw 6 very large and very black feathers as I trudged and one tiny fluffy gray kind. My ankle issues that came and went last week really wanted to come and stay today. But I continued to say hello and work on banishing them. It took longer this time, but eventually I pounded all the aches out. This was what I got for my efforts.
It was simply a For Sale sign. Literally, a sign. But it wasn’t there the last time I went by. And it just makes me silly happy when I see my name on things. I know, I’m a child. Remember, this is not news.
If you are able to click on this picture and see it bigger, do so. There is a hammock in those shadows. It’s been up for over a week in a yard near us. And I can’t tell you know badly I want to just go over there and fling my wee self elf into it.
One of the other things that helped me get through this peculiar feeling day was knowing that our card was really calming. I’ve been looking forward to reading what it says and then typing it out here for hours now. It is the last of our Wisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Deck, but we’ll go through it one more time. Partly because it is just gorgeous to look at, and partly because we don’t have another one I want to replace it with. Also, partly because Colette’s definitions are so well done. And, I like it.
“The High Lord of Gratitude and Service ~ selflessness, humility, conscious action.
The High Lord of Gratitude and Service has arrived to help you find your true purpose today. Feeling gratitude for each moment you experience, and loving what is and what has been, will remind you that every breath you take holds a deep and profound awareness. Through small actions and selfless service to another, you are automatically placed upon your highest path, whether you are immediately aware of it or not. The presence of this Ally lets you know that you are on the correct path to fulfilling your desires.
You are also notified that your actions of service and attitude of gratitude will yield riches beyond your wildest dreams, as long as those riches are not the goal you have in mind. Giving service with no thought of return is what’s required of you today. This would also be a good time to write a list reminding yourself of all the things in your life and the world around you that you have to be grateful for.
If your question or situation refers to a relationship, let gratitude be your guide. Be thankful for all you learn from this person. Truly, there are no friends and no enemies, just teachers along life’s journey. Be grateful for the laughter and even for the tears. The attitude of gratitude is a magnet for true love in all forms.”