This is not the first time I have talked about death, the Other Side, and our blueprints for life (nor will it be the last).  But it was interesting today because I had already planned on discussing this, and then when I looked at the card we got, it just gave me that lovely stamp of validation.  I’ve said this before, JulieLand is a place of love and we tolerate all beliefs here.  There is no judgment and there is no hatred.  However, it IS my place, so we go with what is in my heart, and my memories.

             I’ve read a lot about these subjects, studied with folks who have many years of practice in it, and have lived in such a way that I’ve been able to see shit others maybe  have not (or don’t remember they saw anyway).  I know there is something beyond the death of our bodies.  I know this because I remember it.  I know this because I feel it solidly in my soul.  I know it because I have read about and talked with others who know it too.  This is the point we are going to jump off from.  If you do not have these same beliefs, that is perfectly fine. 

            The theory is that we come and go, in bodies, to live our lives here (and some other places).  It’s like school, we arrive to learn our lessons, then we go Home.  Hopefully we have done well, because the ultimate goal is to NOT come back.  Usually we have to come back a lot though.  Before each trip we sit down with our loved ones, our guides, our chosen helpers, and we map out what we want to accomplish this time around.  What we will struggle with and what will be non-issues. (This is another post that I touched on this particular topic, in case you missed it the first time around.  It will open to a separate page so you can go read it and not miss anything.)

            So we get here, with our chart all mapped out.  We have a plan in mind, and we have help executing this plan.  We also have what are called “Exit Points” sketched in.  These are the places where this particular life could come to an end, depending on how our lessons are going.  I think Sylvia says there are like five or seven of these.  Now, this whole “blue print” of our lives is WAY more complicated than we can even begin to imagine from where we sit, here with our Earthly brains and bodies. 

           There are so many more factors involved, not to mention opportunities and people.  But the basic concept is that we have general points me need to meet, interactions we need to become involved in, and relationships we need to be a part of.  Our Exit Points come up, we subconsciously see them, and either elect to take that “out” or pass it up, taking another one down the line.  Here’s where it can get sticky.  Suicide is NEVER on the menu as an Exit Point.  It just never is.  And yet, it happens.  People choose it.

             That’s the free will aspect of our mapped out plan.  Unfortunately when that choice is made it really throws off the blue print.  Since it’s not an Exit Point we have designated, it tosses the soul off its track, pulls the soul from its journey before it can complete the life an individual needs to live.  I had a dear friend who did this.  And I beat my damn self up over it for years.  I was convinced that I could have saved him from this.  That was incorrect.

            Hardly anyone can stop this from happening.  It is one of the only times when a person is making decisions alone.  Often it is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain that drives this movement, as though the brain has become severed from the soul, the malfunctioning body has taken over.  It becomes a very ego-centered and selfish movement.  It is not a spiritual choice, because once a person has gotten to this point, they are no longer in touch with their guides, helpers, and loved ones that have worked so hard to assist with staying on the path.  It is the most extreme example of fear based reactions. 

           When a person gets to that level, of fear and desperation, all the love that could have helped them has already been disregarded.  They have stopped being connected with their higher selves.  They have turned off the radio and yanked the plug from the wall.  It is not that their chart was so overloaded with shit that they couldn’t handle it, it is that they have stepped away from their support system and have shoved the blueprint out the window.

            When we stay connected to those around us, whether on this physical plane, or the helpers we have with us all the time in a spiritual sense, we are still learning, we are still connected.  It’s when we give up on that help, when we turn our backs on those around us, that we lose our grip and we fall out of our lives.  I believe there are no mistakes.  Ending our own lives, stopping our lessons, is still not so much of a mistake, as it is a mis-step.  We do learn from making this decision, selecting this as an option, but we don’t learn the best way, the way that was intended, by ourselves or by whatever you refer to as God or the Universe.  We just have to do all the same things over again, and with the added burden of tossing everyone else’s lives off the mark  too.

             In Christian belief systems this action is a sin.  In most religions and cultures it is discouraged (to put it mildly).  In the Pagan frame-work it is just hugely disappointing.  The immense hopelessness just covers us all when a life is taken this way.  One of my cousins was of a mind-set that this would be beneficial.  She didn’t see that there were so many other ways for her to get the love and attention she so desperately needed to keep going.  Desperation is another key to these incidents.

              The person looking at this as a choice has become desperately disconnected, for many different reasons.  No matter whether it is chemical or not (which it usually is) this option is almost never something the loved ones left behind are responsible for.  Once that break has been made, once that desperation and fear has set in,  the person has severed the link he or she could have used to bring them back on track.  It’s painful, it’s heart-rending, it’s so so so unnecessary, but yes, it does happen.  It has happened in the lives of nearly everyone I know.  It has happened to people I love.

            What has helped me, over the years, to resolve this pain and this sad feeling of WTF, is my secure knowledge that every one of those people who went that far, have a chance to try again.  They all have the opportunity to come back, learn their lessons, and eventually join the rest of us at Home.  It is just going to take them much more time.

“Compassion  ~  Archangel Zadkiel: ‘Soften your heart with respect to this situation, and all the people involved, including yourself.

I can help you forgive yourself and others, or to compassionately see everyone’s point of view.  You needn’t chang your stance or behaviour.  It simply means approaching the situation with a loving heart, which empowers you and allows creative solutions to pour forth.’

Working with Archangel Zadkiel: Zadkiel’s name means ‘Righteousness of God’ and he helps us release unforgiveness toward ourselves and others.  Ask him to come into your dreams and act like a chimney sweep, clearing away any emotional toxins from your heart.  He will ensure that everyone’s needs are met, and that emotional healings occur in miraculous ways.”

16 thoughts on “How Much We Can Handle.

    1. So true, it has nothing to do with the post, or even much to do with the blog in general… but holy crap! Nice, thank you SO much. 😀

      1. He has taken me to a tattoo convention and on a walking tour of local historical homes as well. Yes, I do in fact, have the best kids… EVER!

  1. Someone I care about took her life last fall.

    I had a lot of trouble with it, but not nearly as much trouble as my dear friend (daughter of the deceased) has obviously.

    One of my darling friends had known her long ago and is by far the most conservative religious person among my acquaintance. I cringed to think what she might think of this event. She put her arms around me and said, “It wasn’t her fault. You never know what is real to that person in a moment like that.”

    Damn. THAT was some compassion.

    When I was struggling with depression (which is tantamount to wrestling all the forces of darkness with every limb you have), there were days when I wanted to drive my truck off a bridge. That minute of free air and then nothingness…but my dominant rational brain reminded me that the damn bridge wasn’t very high and I’d probably just suffer from internal injuries and near-fatal embarrassment. I was still narcissistic enough to resist.

    1. Yeah, long ago when I was feeling that life wasn’t short enough, I’d consider it. But my rational brain would always come up with reasons why I’d probably not succeed and end up just maimed for life. 😀 Thank goodness for snarky rational minds!

  2. Thank you for this post, Julie. I too have loved ones who have exited this world via suicide. It hurts a bunch. But your talk of exit points made me thing of my mom and how clear it is to me know that she was done.

    I still miss her like anything, but truthfully I feel her near me quite a lot.

    I’m struggling with something else right now. This NEED to be able to write full time. Pushing, pushing, pushing to do all the right things so that my books get noticed. It’s screwing up my life. I’m thinking I ned to show myself some compassion.

  3. This card is particularly important to me today, considering I had a situation with a friend last night, a confrontation that I’m still reeling from in a way, as it took me completely off guard. But this It simply means approaching the situation with a loving heart. This is what I have to remember.

    Suicide is hard for all involved. I don’t know that I’ll ever understand the patterns that could lead someone to choose that option, but then I’m lucky enough to have a solid, connected support system that I know not everyone does. All I can do is to believe that they’ll come back and get another chance to go through that blueprint.

  4. I can think of a few (very few) situations where suicide could be considered an exit point; terminal illness (as long as there is considerable discussion with family members and complete agreement on the decision) and chronic and untreatable mental illness (I am thinking here of two friends of mine that, through no fault of their own, suffer from DID as a result of horrific child abuse; it is noteworthy that neither of them have commited suicide). This does not change my belief that suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do, and that it is usually a result of a huge “disconnect” that has happened to them.

    I find the concept of “exit points” very interesting. I can identify a couple of time when I have made seemingly small decisions that I look back at now and can identify as those types of junctions. Sneaky little guys. So far, I think I’ve made the right calls on them. Haven’t had one for a while…

  5. As I referred to in the previous post, my little brother committed suicide. As far as I can tell (and I haven’t experienced all forms of loss, but between me and my mom have at least observed many), suicide seems to be the one that is most deeply affecting and I don’t think the effects ever completely go away. I don’t use the word “selfish”, at least not for all, but definitely being in so much pain you can’t see a way out. I’ve been very close to it myself in the past; what saved me was not wanting to put Mom thru it again. It isn’t always disregarding help, but being blind to it.

    My heart goes out to all who have known someone who killed themself.

    However, I have also seen and heard of those who are quite selfish in their suicides: adults with families who are more aware, people who set it up so their spouse or even their children are the ones to find them. Sometimes, suicide seems to be the ultimate form of spite.

    And, of course, as Julie knows I am not convinced that we have more than the one life to live. Nor that there is a “time” or a purpose. There is also the fact that I am railing against life about the loss of my mom and what it leaves me with.

    I don’t understand the idea of exit points here, Julie. Can you be more specific? I don’t always manage to understand inference and subtlety. 🙂

    This is a good card. I think that compassion is one of the highest virtues of life, and one we often forget to apply to ourselves, even as we apply it to others.

    1. I don’t understand the exit points either. We will see them and understand them as that?

  6. Julie, this post is a perfect example of why I love coming here. You are able to explain things with such compassion, and everyone needs to be reminded of the need for compassion and universal positive regard. I really like the idea of trying with life until you get it right – it’s a hopeful idea.

  7. This is a tricky subject but I think you covered it beautifully, Julie. Suicide is always hard and I think the hardest part is the not knowing why. Why did they think that things were so bad that their only option was death? Diva’s friend had a pretty good approach ‘You never know what is real to that person in a moment like that’. The mind can be a very scary thing sometimes.

  8. There’s a lyric to an Indigo Girls song (“Ghost of the Gang”) that describes a suicide as “gave it to glory”. That description always bothers me because I don’t see it that way, but pretty much everything I come up with, the way I would describe it, is about me and my beliefs. None of what I have to say is about “what is real to that person in a moment like that” as Diva’s friend put it.

    I think it’s pretty clear I need to work on my compassion (and should probably put on some more Indigo Girls.)

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