Or rather, it IS slightly different, in that I was hugely interested in it the second I turned the card over.  Something about it just really appealed to me (as I said, it’s calling out) and I wanted to know more. 

               Ha, of course I wanted to know more, because the Universe is a very funny and oddly inter-related place.  Which is one of the (many) reasons I adore real live Magick so much.  As I googled around I found a very cool and very witchy website that told me WHY I was so drawn to Selenite.  Here is the place, feel free to poke around over there, I’ll be joining you just as soon as I get this post typed up.

“Selenite  ~  telepathy, soul connection, peace, tranquility.

It is possible for you to connect with others energetically on a soul level and infuse them with love and healing.  This is telepathic communication in its highest form. 

Through the formless light of love it is possible to both send and receive information provided the information is sought and sent with love.  Remember that on a soul level, time and space do not really exist because all is interconnected and ultimately one.

The peace and tranquility you seek can be found by connecting to that ultimate oneness.  Go within, for in doing so, you will realise that all is eternal; nothing is ever lost, and that all is eternally present.”

           (If you are not familiar with the term FGBVs, look far left to the last box over there  <—- in that section where I explain Lucy March/Betty Terminology, entitled “Betty-isms“.  This phenomenon the guidebook is describing is the exact way Fairy God Betty Vibes work [alternately and atheistically as Fairy Good Betty Vibes], a focused and channelled energy aimed at a particular person or situation, glowing with love and absolutely real.)

             The name of this crystal comes from one of Mother Moon’s goddess titles: Selena.  Not a huge stretch to figure out why I connected with it, even before I knew that.  Consciously, anyway.

            The deck’s designer talks mostly about the healing qualities of our eternal link, but there is also the aspect of that tranquil feeling we get when we know we are loved and secure; it gives us peace.  That is our message as well, acknowledge the perfectly peaceful calm that we can also feel, even though we know there is chaos to balance that, we are still able to draw on that serene energy, the soothing quiet which is available to us all.  I get a great deal of mine from simply being able to see the moon.  Where ever you are able to gather yours, this is our sign.  Make the effort, take a moment and feel that soul connection.

            While I was out stomping along for five very cold miles this afternoon, I received a lunar blessing.  Mother Moon is rising during the day right now, and she is most definitely up while the sun is still out.  When Dan was heading off to work last night we saw, through the trees across the street, just a glimmer of her waxing crescent.  Today it was high in the sky as I headed home around four.  I also noticed that it is staying lighter for way longer in the evenings.  Yay!

           I’m able to start turning my schedule around now, putting it back where it was when I first started all this wandering and biking.  My two tiny errands got done and THEN I went out into the neighborhood.  This absolutely means that Spring is SO on the way.  Another clue that the seasons are changing (ever so slowly) is how damn many folks were out there with me.

            This annoying woman was just in my freaking way.  I know, we are near a path, several parks, and it’s a densely populated area blah blah blah, but seriously, it was nearly big city crowded feeling!  Not only were there irritants (like her) but there were entertaining folks as well (thankgawd).

              Can you see this old woman?  She is ancient, 80 if she’s a day.  She scoots along on this over-sized tricycle looping back and forth along My Route.  Up and down all the same hills I’m on, but she goes faster on the ”down” sides than I do.  She was VERY hard to get a picture of!

            There was also a wreck.  Apparently it had just happened when I left here in the Wee Walnut.  I didn’t witness any lights or sirens as I drove away, so it seemed that they must have courteously exchanged info and moved on with their day.  Eventually.  This tow truck was very nearly done as I passed by, on foot hoof an hour or two later.   (It was some hours, I don’t have a clue, you know how I am with time.)

           The only other thing of note that I saw were two little boys.  In a window.  They had to be around three years old or so, and they were (actively) leaning against (as well as standing on) the back of a couch, which was pushed snuggly up to the glass, probably in a living room. 

            We had a similar arrangement, several different times and in several different houses, when the witchlings were young.  It never bothered me if they did this, hand prints (face prints, including open mouth kisses) on the glass were the least of my cleaning concerns (especially since I hardly ever cleaned, much like now).

             This pair was painfully adorable, and when they realized I could see them they started to wave.  It nearly killed me with the cute.  Even though I couldn’t hear them giggling and screaming, I know it happened after I waved back.  Some sounds you can actually SEE.

Today’s Deck:

Crystal Oracle Cards by Toni Carmine Salerno

LateNight Plea:  my beautiful and generous Empress is not in a good room-mate situation right now, she and Max and Honey Graham need to move.  She just sent me a text, the ending part said, ”…send peaceful moving angels our way.”  I think the selenite crystal is perfect for this, and I invite you to join me in focusing tons of that tranquility and loving energy in their direction.  Home should be a sanctuary, not a scary place you can’t feel restful, recharged, nor safe in.

• 1 cup couscous
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• ½ cup raisins
• ½ cup chopped dried apricots
• ½ cucumber, seeded and diced
• ¼ cup chopped pitted Kalamata olives
• ¼ cup blanched almonds, lightly toasted
• ¼ cup pine nuts, lightly toasted
• ¼ cup olive oil
• 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
• 1 tbsp chopped mint

            That particular site has a ton of great stuff on it, this one is not the only thing we’ve tried.  Today I went in search of black mustard seeds (did not find them, had to get brown) for a dish that is made with orange cauliflower (there is also purple!), which I really can’t wait to try.

             Our title today refers, partly, to the weather (and partly to me too, I did NOT forget the recipe again), it was so freaking sunny today!  I went out on the bike, not much else to report about the ride.  However, when I got home from my erranding, TA DA! there was box waiting for me on the porch.

             Fender!   Now affixed securely over the back tire, the better to keep water and mud and all manner of debris OFF of my behind-me areas.  (Did Daniel and I have to argue and bitch and fight during, before, and moderately after the installation of this accessory?  Of course we did.  But then I left the garage, so the conflicts were over at that point.)   Once I take it for a test run, I’ll be sure to report in.

             One of the places I had to go this afternoon was the library.  Across the street there used to be (a billion years ago) a Sears.  Then (for another billion years) there was a big pit.  Soon there will be an expanded downtown campus for our local community college.  Currently it looks like this.

              Every time I go by there I want to stop and just watch the progress, it’s a fairly huge thing for us.  Not that it will have any bearing on my life, directly, but it’s interesting all the same.  (Oh wow, in googling around to find that first link, I found this, which says they have a webcam aimed at the construction.  I am totally gonna come back and check it out.  You know how I love webcams!)

             I’ve had this note in my draft folders for weeks, but I don’t have any pictures to go with it, so I keep just NOT writing about it:  hats.  My Beloved has been making me new hats.  We’ve just about run out of “good” yarn around here because of my special requests.  Cotton is the only option (especially now that we know bamboo as fibre is a poor choice).  Or cotton with alpaca maybe (not that we have any of that).  But mostly just cotton.  I promise, over our next weekend we’ll get the camera out so you can see how beautiful his work is, while I’m wearing it (or possibly them).

             Just about the first thing I did today was flip over our card.  When I saw what the top of it said I kept repeating it in my head, and I was conscious of staying on the awares*.  (That’s another part of today’s title, which made itself known, very clearly, as I pedaled past the burnt-up house.)

*I can’t recall where that phrase started, seems like it had to with Winnie the Pooh, but it may have just been used by us during the years we watched those videos with the witchlings several times a day, or even when the original version first played, when I was a kid.  I just know that it’s something that sticks in my head, and I still say it.

“Pay Attention  ~

Notice  repetitious signs and your inner guidance, as they can yield valuable information.

Heaven is giving you important messages, and by drawing this card, you are asked to pay extra attention to them.  Notice conversations you overhear, comments made to you by others, inner feelings and thoughts.  Look for common threads among the signs, as they are forms of guidance to help you manifest your Divine purpose and desires.

It is not your imagination that Heaven is sending you signs and Divine guidance.  Anytime you hear or feel something three or more times, especially within a short time period, it is information worthy of your attention.  These signs also give you feedback about your current belief system, since your thoughts attract mirroring experiences.  Use these signs to heal beliefs that dishonor you, and swim in the direction that your guidance points you.”

             (Standard Doreen Disclaimer: if the word Heaven does not resonate with you, please feel free to substitute it for something that does.  I like Universe, but put whatever is comfortable for you in that spot.)

            This illustration has its good and bad aspects for me, but the message is entirely good.  It has a few levels to it though.  The obvious one, about paying attention and noting signs that we are being given, is a great reminder.  But she also tosses in that last bit at the end, about belief systems. 

              My thought here is that she’s basically saying to follow our heart, more specifically, if we are in a position of seeking some spiritual assistance, stay tuned-in to what our emotions and senses are telling us.   If we feel as though the place we go for solace is not doing the job, keep looking, don’t settle. 

            I really like the line that talks about healing “beliefs that dishonor” us.  Honor and respect for ourselves are necessary foundational building blocks, basic elements we all need, because once that stable self-support is in place, we are better able to express to others (consciously or subconsciously) that they treat us accordingly, as beings who are worthy of love, honor, respect, and so much more.

 Foreign License Plate Report:

that new, very colorful, Alaska; and the newer Idaho one with the bird on it; lots of Texas people; plus a Minnesota.

Today’s Deck:

Magical Mermaids and Dolphins Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

              Some of the lyrics from a song by The Eurythmics - 

(Annie Lennox, David Allan Stewart) 

Here comes the rain again

Falling on my head like a melody

Falling on my head like a new emotion

I want to walk in the open wind

I want to talk like lovers do

I want to dive into your ocean

Is it raining with you

            The inspiration of it came as I was hearing the raindrops hit my hood when I rode under some very wet trees.  Originally I thought there was line in there somewhere about the rain “pounding” but it’s not on any of the sites I saw.  Maybe she just sang that, sort of improv-like, only the one time, on the recording I’m familiar with.  Or I’ve been remembering it wrong for a gazillion years.  Either way, this was one layer of why I typed that line in last night.

            Another aspect of it is how, when I mentally round up what’s been going on in the day, I eventually sort it into categories as I sit down at the keyboard.  The groups often relate to the Elements (in the open wind, your ocean).  Did I have any cool sparks of Divinely sent brilliance?  What did I see while I was outside?  How many pictures do I have today?  Is the card a fun one or a serious message that I need to focus further on?  Both maybe?  List of Foreign Plates this time?  (Am I hungry?  And where the fuck are my notes?)

             Additionally, in the case of “falling on my head” it was all about my sister there for an hour or so.  I hear from her occasionally, and I have those pink clogs in the card altar room, so sometimes I put them on and wear them around when I’m in there.  Not precisely FALLING so much as BEING in my head.  She helped me find the old coats and the correct hat.

             The “melody” part had to do with the cards and how I was thinking about when messages come to us musically.  Like songs on the radio (or randomly appearing on our music players), or movie/TV show themes, the symbology of a beloved lullaby (or what some of us VERY young parents chose to USE as lullabies).  The Zen deck is not a comfortable fit for some JulieLanders, and I’m always aware of that.  As I thought about the definitions in that guidebook, I was considering which parts to use here, and what I heard in my head was “here comes the pain again.”

           Today’s title is referring to the above explanations, as well as returning to the Allen Carr discussion.  All of you have read my son’s opinions on this, right?  Okay, so it appears as though not everyone is a fan.  Fine by me.  No problem at all.  I knew that from the start.  I knew it when I quit smoking and the response I give people when they ask all the standard questions is: I read a book.  My hope was that after reading the NEXT book, I could say the same thing when (not if!) people exclaim in all the standard ways about how much weight I’ve lost:  I read a book.

           His methods are not for everybody, apparently.  But they work for me.  Or, more correctly, did work for the past two and a half weeks. I seem to have fallen off the raw food/nearly vegan suggestions of eating that Allen believes is in our best interests.  And I’m stranded up here on this irritating gawdamned plateau right now.  I’m going to re-read some sections in the next few days, and see if that helps.  I may also have some other movement options coming up, which might assist in kicking my ass over the edge and back to effortlessly dropping a few pounds every week.

           This afternoon’s event was a warm and highly inattentive trudge on the regular Route of about 4 and 3/4 miles.  I was a Chatty Cathy (Texty Tessa?) because I was reaching out for some friendly bolstering and checking in with a couple of sympathetic pals.  My pace was delayed because we all know I absolutely can’t multi-task, nor parallel think.  So, I got lapped.  By an old man.  And a grandmother, with toddlers.  And most definitely got breezed right past by runners and dog walkers.

            I did take some pictures for you though.  This one is a house that recently caught fire.  No one was home at the time and the owners are claiming arson.  I have no idea what the situation is, but I am being ever vigilant to changes and updates as I wander past each time.

            Our title for today also refers to this shot.  It’s the same view you’ve seen before, near the park.  This is where the ducks were spotted, paddling so close to me, nearly on the sidewalk.  No flooding now.  But this was all under water yesterday.

             Look who greeted me upon my safe arrival home.  Max!  He and Empress were here today so she and her father could make a get-to-know-you visit with a new (alternative) health care guy.  I was hoping it would be a we’ve-fixed-her visit, but I guess that will be next time.  (Fingers crossed!)

            Our daily draw is from my working deck.  This one came up well and truly backwards.

Six of Pentacles  (Reversed)

             Money and things of Matter, what can be made, bought, sold, traded, and bartered.  This tells us, immediately, that we need to pay attention to where our funds are going and not where they have gone.  Once we’ve spent our coins, they are spent.  We either appreciate what they’ve helped us to acquire, or we don’t.   And when we don’t, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, setting ourselves up for a bad mood we really don’t need to bring on.

            Our message in this one talks about allowing our funds to flow freely, giving and receiving in equal proportion.  We can’t hold on to everything, especially and specifically, money or our services or any trade goods we may have.  The market of buying and selling is based on that action of movement. 

          Let the money go if it needs to, more will show up (it always does).  Pay for the services that cost, reimburse the professionals who know the tricks of the trade.  Be a generous steward of our position and pay well.  Tip those who work hard and make little, share the wealth.  It will be returned to us, as the Three Fold Rule of the Universe declares.

Today’s Deck:

Robin Wood Tarot

            It’s Tuesday, and that means it’s a bike day.  When I got up this afternoon the rain was pounding so loud I could hear it downstairs (a floor that is partially underground and entirely covered by another level of living area).  I went rummaging.  In practically every closet.  Two (seemingly) rainproof (-ish) jackets and another of Gay’s hats later, I had an outfit!  I also added my kitchen sink gloves.  (The ones I use when I don’t want to get all the damn band-aids wet, or am dealing with something that has such an offensive odor I don’t want it on my actual skin.)

           The ride was not too bad, but the flooded sidewalk conditions have returned.  To such a degree that when I swooshed through there, I saw, not more than 9 freaking inches away, three mallards.  Ducks!  Swimming over the marshy grass and concrete!  THAT’S how deep the damn water was.  As I pedaled along my toes would have gotten wet, if ya know, both of my feet were not already soaked.

               You can’t really see the hat I ended up with, but it’s in the top right hand corner.  Worked wonderfully well.  Those are my striped biking gloves up there just above the (remember? Sale!) plastic gardening shoes, with the waterproof covers (that I grabbed out of the kitchen as I walked past because that was SUCH a brilliant idea I can’t believe I haven’t come up with it sooner). 

             In real life the second coat (showing on either side of that bent pant leg) is more purple, and I used it as a behind-me garment.  I tied it around my waist and then put the other jacket on.  Between the two of them I had backside coverage entirely, from head down to knees.

            I also had to do some last minute safety-pin repairs once I had the zipper up and my hood on, but it stayed put and when I came home I pulled it off over my head and left the There I Fixed It in place for another rainy day of need.  

           (I stripped this all off in front of our washing machine as I came in from the garage, and as it started to pile up, on that towel you can kinda sorta see on the floor, that’s when I became inspired to photograph it all.)

            Dan’s lovely parents gave me some gift purchasing capabilities as my holiday present, so we’ve used that to order a fender and a set of raingear.  They’ve shipped.  Good for me that I never clean, so that these old clothes were available, but pretty soon I’ll have new items that will provide even better weather protection.

             Our card today is not one, but three.  Which means you know what deck we have circled back around to.  Yep.  That one.

“Clinging To The Past  ~  Five of Water:  Emotions.

These tenses –  past, present, and future – are not the tenses of time, they are the tenses of the mind…

The figure pictured in this card is so preoccupied with clutching her box of memories that she has turned her back to the sparkling champagne glass of blessings available here and now.

It is time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in the old blueprints that you would have already outgrown if you hadn’t been so busy clinging to what you have already been through.  Take a deep breath, put the box down, tie it up with a pretty ribbon if you must, bid it a fond and reverent farewell.  Life is passing you by, and you are in danger of becoming an old fossil before your time.

Schizophrenia  ~  Two of Clouds:  Mind.

Man is split.  Schizophrenia is a normal condition of man – at least now.  It may not have been so in the primitive world, but centuries of conditioning, civilization, culture, and religion have made man a crowd – divided, split, contradictory…  But because this split is against his nature, deep down somewhere hidden the unity still survives.  Because the soul of man is one, all the conditionings at the most destroy the periphery of the man.  The center remains untouched…

The person on this card brings a new twist to the old idea of getting stuck between a rock and a hard place.  But we are in precisely this sort of situation when we get stuck in the indecisive and dualistic aspect of the mind.

The only way out of this dilemma is by letting go completely, both sides at once.  You can’t work your way out of this one by solving it… Better to follow your heart, if you can find it.  If you can’t find it, just jump…

Breakthrough  (R)  ~  XI Major Arcana.

If you are now feeling that ‘enough is enough’ allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing.  In doing so you will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to your life.”

           This is a fascinating trio, and it tells us such a concise story.  We are still hanging on to something that bothers our minds, an idea or memory or bit of old thought pattern that just needs to be left back where it came from.   Once we’ve seen what it is and how it can now be walked away from our Breakthrough may begin.  When we continue to struggle it makes us feel more like a Breakdown, and while that does open up to its own clarifying possibilities, it is also a much more difficult way to see and follow our path.  Striding confidently forward will help us more in the long run, with less pain and less confusion.

Today’s Deck:

Osho Zen

LateNight Treat:  look what Daniel just made for me!  I’ll include the recipe tomorrow (or a link to it maybe, if I can remember where the hell I found it).

Couscous with nuts and olives and other great things.

            Dan and I went out again a-wandering.  This time in a different direction, but that was about it for our activities.  No lightning bolts of inspiration, no loud radio messages, although I did kind of “hear” that we’d be GETTING a sign.  So far, just a four and a half mile walk and some throw-together dinner (which is outstanding by the way, he did a brilliant job with my incredibly vague suggestions and the ingredients we had on hand).

            There were terribly low clouds, but it never rained on us at all.  It was also about ten degrees colder than yesterday.  Doesn’t seem to matter what the weather is doing, we still see tons of folks.  True, we live near a jogging path, so yeah, we’re gonna see the runners, but we also see SO many others.  Like this couple, with very nice dogs.

             I had to get that shot in stealth mode, they were perfectly polite, just not overly friendly.  Another one I had to sneak up on was one of our no-progress projects, except… they were working on it!

             Ending up on this street was sort of an accident, there’s a large clump of residential roads that are the opposite of a grid pattern, or ANY type of pattern that we can discern, across the canal.  It’s a fascinating and odd collection of homes, some of which made our heads hurt.  We are somewhat judge-y sure, but we aren’t the least bit snobby, and we certainly aren’t superior.  Still, we both decided we can’t go back to that block, it was just too confusing and mixed up and unattractive.  And sad.  This is near one of its corners.

             Sights like this upset me.  I worry, then it gets stuck in my head and I can’t get it out.  I’m sure these people will be fine, we just won’t be incorporating that particular area into any regular routes.  Okay, one more example, then I’m going to need a distraction to scrub my brain. 

             Can you see the door to nowhere up there?  This is one of the painful houses on the head-ache lane.  Not one thing about any of it is new, the deck barely below has been there for a LONG time, and yet, there’s that.  That door.  To nothing.  There are far too many issues like this one for us to go back.  Let’s get worried for an entirely different reason.

             At first we didn’t realize what we were looking at, a house beyond another house, basically on sticks.  Could any of you live with THAT as your foundation?  DO any of you?  The Burrow is on a hill, and Ally lives on a hill too.  We know plenty of people we have homes that are not pancake flat, but THIS is in a category unto itself. 

            Along that specific slope we’ve seen some with other bracing configurations, combining wood and metal and concrete and lots of effective materials.  All of which we believe are most likely safe and legally built.  This one, we have doubts about.

             No feathers for weeks, then today we get so many that I can’t count them all.  Right after we spotted these, we saw lots more.  And not too far past here we noticed a similar trail grouping arrangement selection of black ones.  Our theory (based on absolutely nothing) was that a seagull (there’s a few around) bashed in to a window or a cat got it, and this was the evidence.  The black feathers?  We aren’t sure, we’d gone on to speculating about other shit by then.

               Like this exquisite yard goddess.  Mexico you think?  She was so lovely, and made us feel much better after all that death and destruction and uncomfortableness.  I hope she does the same for all of you.

           Our daily draw was right side up when I flipped it over, but as I was opening the guidebook to get ready for typing (I have to press it down with my phone on one side and the camera weighing down the other) I felt that we needed to have both definitions, just in case this would be helpful to someone.  (Oh good, we DID have some additional messages.)

“The Wise Woman of Wonderland  ~  integrity, compromise.

Ally:

The Wise Woman of Wonderland brings integrity to thought, word, and deed.  She lets you know that as long as you are in the flow of honesty and being true to your word, she keeps you under her protection and care.

When she appears as your Ally, she signals a time when honesty pays off, yielding greater dividends than you expected.  You will be thankful that you remained faithful and loyal to your path.  She reminds you that compromise is not always an option.  Stay true to yourself first and foremost.  Although it may appear that you could lose something as a result, you can never lose what is truly yours.

Challenger:

When the Wise Woman of Wonderland appears as a Challenger, this is a sign that you may have compromised yourself out of fear.  Have you been in denial about the truth of your situation?  Have you sold yourself short rather than ask for what you really need?  Have you given up your dream for another because you fear abandonment?

The Wise Woman of Wonderland is gently reminding you that you count.  Claim your good and never settle for less.  Be fearless and make it so!  Why hang around for more disappointment when wonderful opportunities are waiting to unfold for you?”

Today’s Deck:

Wisdom Of The Hidden Realms by Colette Baron-Reid