(Hell and damnation.  I just went in search of when I talked about the last time Oscar saved the life of my much adored vehicle [not the more recent replaced battery incident in November].  Again, fail.  If you guys don’t recall this story, I’ll tell it once more, or some one [NOT ROBIN THIS TIME!] can try to find it.  Or, we can all just get on with our lives, not give it another thought, and stop stressing over it.  [Shut up, I KNOW I'm the only one bothered here.]  Because truthfully?   It so fucking DOESN’T MATTER!!!)

             Far more topical and current, look what we saw in their parking lot as we were leaving.  (Barb, anywhere near you guys?)

           And just around the next corner I spotted one of those truly foreign plates, long style from Europe or some far-away other-continent place.  When we stopped for a quick few items on our way home there was a Minnesota going by (with the state VISIBLE this time!) and a black and white State of Mystery which zoomed past before I could get a good enough look at it.  And the last sighting of note was maybe the filthiest California I’ve ever seen in my life.

            We were slightly rushed because this is one of those new early Mayberry days for my Beloved.  I left when he did; it’s staying light out long enough now so I can walk after 4 with plenty of sunshine time.  I went my full five miles, with the last bit up and down those hilly parts I originally took out.  Seems like a good new route for the days I have that many minutes to spare.

             There’s a wee bunch of crocuses on nearly every street now.  Some places have gobs.  This particular yard is funny, there’s this little patch and then not six or eight inches to the left, there’s a whole wide swath of them, inside some type of netting, held up by stakes.  I never understand WHY people do the things they do on their property.  And I’d guess, they are clueless about me too.  Like, why I have so freaking many flamingos wandering around my place, with a multitude of other ridiculous decorations.  And yet, it’s the messiest front yard for miles around.

           Remember my neighbor, the (not really) rocket scientist?  Well, he’s back out there again now.

             He IS retired, so it’s not like there’s a deadline on getting this project done.  I just thought it was very funny when I heard the distinctive sounds of a shop vac coming from that direction this afternoon.  And when I peeked my head out, sure enough, there he was.  Beginning Year 3.

             On our card altar we are back to my working deck.  Our message came up as a Challenger.  So that’s how I took her picture.

“Page of Wands  (R)”

            Wands, brilliant sparks of inspiration.  The inner light of wisdom.  Bright flashes of Universal knowledge.  The glowing beauty of Life’s loving light.

              Summer, in all its warm and shining glory.  Fire, in all its life-giving heat.  Noon and summer, in all their bountiful prosperity.

             Pages are like Knights, in that they bring messages.  But more often they reflect who we are in this situation or in this suit.  Less about delivering, more about being inside of, and representing.

            The first things that hit me about this one were the firecrackers on her belt and the fact that her wand is dual tipped.  Sure, the bottom one is smaller, but it is still prominent, and when you look closely (if you can in that photo) the entire staff is actually clear and made of crystal, so you’ve got three times the energy here.  It is so strong, in a tactile and powerful way, that I can nearly feel it humming.

              What is she telling us that she needed to arrive in a Contrary position?  It feels as though her wild Fire-y sense is being muted or possibly subdued, something about not getting those messages across as clearly and brightly as she would like.  Are we not listening?  Or are our signs not burning as hotly as we need them to?

             We have the tools, we are just not using them as efficiently as we could be.  Yes, we have been instructed lately to think before we leap/look before we act, but in this case it’s not so much about us jumping off or acting out, doing either too carelessly, it’s about not doing anything at all.  It feels as though we COULD be making more progress, if we could simply tune in, tune in to a crystal clear message.  That is how we can rotate this one around to direct and up-right.

            See, by the clear light of day, what needs doing, and then do it.  Cautiously, but energetically none the less.

Today’s Deck:

Robin Wood Tarot

LateNight Cross Stitch Thoughts:  I am almost done with a new sampler, with the words anyway, I’ve still got to figure out some border idea.  But when that’s finished I don’t have another project lined up*.  No one has called or e-mailed with a commission in weeks**.  On Saturday (and Sunday too!) I’ll see Carol, so we can talk about her next pattern, but The Tall Canadians cannot be the only folks who need bad words creatively arranged on (maybe super cool) fabric.  Any suggestions?  Anyone need a home decor addition?  Have you all been checking in here,to see what new shit she’s worked up lately?

*No, I am NOT done with that unicorn tapestry my Empress selected, but I have to be in the right mood (and get the stretcher bars/Q-Snap situation figured out) before I can return to it.

**Yes, J.D.  I DO have a rough draft of your family motto translation started.  We need to discuss colors etc.

              Here is a quote from the dog’s most-important-girl, keep in mind, she was working at the humane society when this tiny fluffy baby appeared there (or was abandoned, or dropped off, or whatever was the tragic scenario that I have now successfully blocked from my memory).   Em said this in yesterday’s comments:

He WAS crate trained. I used it to help combat his severe separation anxiety when I fostered him at 4 months old. when I adopted him out he was the perfect dog, not only confidently crate trained, but socialized to everything imaginable, well mannered, and obedient. When I got him back 9 months later, he was a fearfully aggressive, nervous, over weight, wreck. He forgot all of his commands, and would run away at any given chance (he never had to be leashed before), he also came back with an overwhelming fear of his create… Im assuming they used it as punishment. Ive been able to work with him on some things but the crate training was never the same…

              Here’s the thing about our Empress, she is a canine caregiver of the highest order, which is why this being away has been so difficult, on all of us.  My Maximum Grand Dog “came back” as she said, not too long after she started her second fostering situation, the hospice care for Harley.  He was another guy she took care of with the most amazing compassion and love.  When it was time for her Harlington to move along and leave his tired body behind, she had MixMaxx there to comfort her, and keep her from being alone again. 

             So now you guys see, that adorable little sleeping angel in the above shot means WAY more to the most selflessly compassionate and generous person I’ve ever met, than perhaps, any common old dog might under other circumstances.   (Do you also understand WHY she can dress him up and put a doily on his head?)

              And yeah, lovely.   I’ve made my ridiculous self elf cry, so let’s just do our cards and keep moving forward.

“Slowing Down  (r)  ~ Knight of Rainbows  ~  Mastery of the Physical

The Knight of Rainbows is a reminder that, just like this tortoise, we carry our home with us wherever we go….  we can remain self-contained and free from attachments.  It is a time when you are ready to let go of any expectations you have had about yourself or other people, and to take responsibility for any illusions you might have been carrying.  There is no need to do anything but rest in the fullness of who you are right now  If desires and hopes and dreams are fading away, so much the better.  Their disappearance is making space for a new quality of stillness and acceptance of what is, and you are able to welcome this developement in a way you have never been able to before.  Savor this quality of slowing down, of coming to rest and recognizing that you are already home.

Guilt  (r)  ~  Clouds: the Mind  ~  Minor Arcana

This moment, this herenow, is forgotten when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.  When the achieving mind arises, you lose contact with the paradise you are in….  guilt is one of the most destructive emotions in which we can get caught.  If we have wronged another, or gone against our own truth, then of course we feel bad.  But to let ourselves be overwhelmed with guilt is to invite a migraine….  We all long to be better people – more loving, more aware, more true to ourselves.  But when we punish ourselves for our failures by feeling guilty, we can get locked into a cycle of despair and hopelessness that robs us of all clarity about ourselves and the situations we encounter.   You are absolutely okay as you are, and it is absolutely natural to go astray from time to time.  Just learn from it, move on, and use the lesson not to make the same mistake again.

Silence  ~  XVII  ~  Major Arcana

The silent mirrorlike receptiveness of a star-filled night with a full moon is reflected in the misty lake below.  The face in the sky is deep in mediation, a goddess of the night who brings depth, peace, and understanding.  Now is a very precious time.  It will be easy for you to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe.

There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the quality of your inner silence permeates everything you do.  It might make some people uncomfortable, accustomed as they are to all the noise and activity of the world.  Never mind; seek out those who can resonate with your silence, or enjoy your aloneness.  Now is the time to come home to yourself.  The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of your life.”

            Let me just touch on some specifics real quick before we look at this draw further.  I’ve said this before, I don’t find any value in guilt or jealousy.  These, to me, are entirely pointless, and in fact, not just negative but harmful.  But what I’ve found, and fairly recently, is that maybe what I mean by “guilt” is not the same as what other people mean when they use the word.  I’m equating it with shame and self-loathing, so if that’s not what you are doing with it, we probably don’t disagree all that much on the definition.

            Alrighty, what are we looking at here with two Contrary Zen cards and one really awesome Moon Goddess?  First, you no doubt saw the two mentions of “home” and how we, like Dorothy, really don’t need to go searching for it all that damn far down the road.  However, much like Miss Gale of the Silver* Slippers, we actually DO need to leave home in order to SEE that where we go ahunting (and what we THINK we are trying to find) is NOT going to be the answer to what we need.

            Basically, it is about our finding our (sometimes mis-placed) self-worth, our self-value, our own true selves right here in our own backyards.  Sit with that honest and genuine self, and notice all the beauty we have inside of us, all the blessings we have surrounding us, all the wisdom of the Universe we can draw upon simply by reflecting on what we’ve learned so far and by appreciating what we have in front of us.

*In Frank Baum’s original stories, the shoes were silver, but that wasn’t sparkly enough for 1930s Hollywood, hence the Ruby make-over.

Today’s Deck:

Osho Zen Tarot

            Nothing too exciting to report.  I biked my five miles, I read today’s paper, and we got some groceries (it was excellent couscous recipe day again).  Dan went over to help my dad with some yard projects (in between cloudbursts they thought they’d chance it) but temperamental equipment thwarted their progress.  They’ll try again when next the weather guessers suggest we may have another half a non-rainy day.

            My plan for tomorrow is to see what our Exceptional Life book has to offer and lead my pool class.  Followed by some Honey Graham chats and a passing of the torch, or dog, in this case.  Yes, Max is going to spend some “weekend” time at home.  We still don’t know what Emmy’s schedule is going to be, but Graham’s days off are Thur/Fri every week, so this should be a nice break for everyone.

             Some more explanation on Max (and why he felt the need to free himself via a carpeted access) is apparently needed.  Previously, when there were other dogs living here, he could roam freely, with them.  Since we are now TRULY in an empty nest, things (like dog water bowl placement) have changed a bit.  Also, as Empress said in yesterday’s comments, Maximum Grand Dog is a stress pooper.  It is hugely tedious/irritating/bothersome/icky when Daniel must take his cop flash light and go on poo searches throughout the entire two floors.  Hence the barricade introduction.

            Instead of trying to keep Max (safely!) in the guest room today though, we went with the other plan.  Which involves putting up the ‘cades in doorways (no, I don’t like to CLOSE doors, if I can help it), effectively blocking his entrance into places like my sewing room (where he LOVES to eat, shred, and otherwise completely destroy quilt batting and anything even slightly fluffy, PLUS leave “gifts” under my sewing machine), the card altar room (which is basically now another office kind of space I’ve taken over), and across the top of the stairs.  In addition we put a wooden spoon in the handles of the cupboard under the sink where our trash lives, and if the co-mingle recycle is full, we’ll set that on a counter.  THIS is all a ton of work!  Just to walk out the damn door!  Which was why I THOUGHT he’d do better in the guest room.  

             Also, as you’ve all seen, I tend to allow him on every piece of furniture in the place.  So when we go out, and he’s not ‘caded, and I forget that there MIGHT still be something on the kitchen table. . . . well, anyway.  He’s going back to his house tomorrow evening, and we can start afresh in a few days. 

              (Really, it would just be BETTER if this whole school business was over with NOW.  But, it’s not.  Emma must learn her trade, so the rest of us must be patient.)

I'll just wait here. FOREVER!

           Oh, I don’t want to forget the scribbled notes.  There were three items, the first involved our observations as we gathered food for the coming week.  Around every corner, it seemed, were STUPID people!  Seriously, we were not in a hurry or even very crabby, but they just were EVERYwhere in front of us.  For miles. 

              And second on the list was how damn windy it was on my ride earlier.  Super gusty and very strange feeling.   Like warm, but not.  Sorta muggy, but still slightly cold.  Just blowy and weird.  I stopped and took off my overshirt, which I have not done in months.

             Last was an adorable little girl, maybe seven or less, in front of her house jumping rope.  Poorly.  I REALLY REALLY wanted to pull over and play with her!  (WHY don’t I have grandchildren YET?!)

               Fine, let’s get on with the daily draw.  It is similar to our Pause message, and one of my favorite illustrations in this deck.

“The Spiral Dancer  ~  circuitous route, perception.

The Spiral Dancer moves with her own rhythm and steps to music only she can hear.  She takes you on a path that is winding and circular.  She assures you that what you are experiencing as a setback is really part of an upward spiral.  Perception is everything;  you are not retracting your steps or going backward, but rather around and up.  She says that you can be comforted, knowing that your path is one of success, adventure, and experience.  Follow her, for she dances along a magical way.

If you are asking about a relationship, keep on dancing and magic will soon happen.  Also, it is okay to allow someone else to take the lead at this time.  Make sure to let others know that you are open.  Always remember that relationships are mirrors and will show you the past, the present, and the potential future.

All relationships have a destiny.  Each is a sacred teacher with valuable lessons to share, even if it appears that the two of you are dancing in different directions.  All the steps are perfect, even when you may seem to be stumbling.  The Spiral Dancer is a reminder that destiny’s true path is seldom straight.”

           I know that some of you don’t believe in the “everything IS in Divine order” mantra, one of the reasons I like this card though, is how it shows one example of WHY this is a Universal Truth.  Of course our path is long, winding, less than always understandable, and we don’t know where the fucking hell we’re going, how could we?  But when we get gentle reminders like our Dancer (have I mentioned how much I adore this picture?) our meandering journeys tend to make a wee bit more sense.

             Plus, this one is a Five.  So, win win.

Today’s Deck:

Wisdom Of The Hidden Realm Oracle Cards by Colette Baron- Reid

Bummer.  Max two – Nana zero.

             To clarify, yes we need the duct tape BECAUSE of the Grand Maximum Dog.    But no, we haven’t figured out where we last saw it, so the repairs must wait.  We’ve tossed a beach towel down for now.  What happened (while we were at dinner last night) was that Max attempted to burrow his way out.  Of the bedroom.  On the second floor.

              Digging for freedom only works if you have actual dirt or rock or some sort of natural substance, in which to excavate.  He had carpet.   Not as successful.  All he accomplished was to shred it and ball much of the remains up, effectively blocking us from coming into the room and releasing him to his much sought after freedom.  We’ve now patted a majority of it back down (although we no longer have full use of that door presently) and have covered the offending wall-to-not-quite-wall-anylonger with a terry cloth disguise. 

              Tonight, moments before our departure, we installed a dual barricade system in the same doorway (over the previously problematic carpet) but he defeated that as well.  Upon seeing his cheery, smiling face through the front windows (NOT at all where he should have been), as we got home, we were reminded of what a clever and determined canine he is.  The words we assigned to him, while this was all happening, probably sounded much like this:

jeez, People.  I can’t see a damn thing in here, if you guys would just OPEN the door or get this ridiculous and absurd fireplace screen-plus-folding-wooden-accordion thing out of my WAY I could sit on the couch where I belong and GREET you when you get back!  Is THAT so freaking difficult to understand?!

             Here he is, a view from late last night.  Much relieved, and far from any offending floor covering.  Sitting with Dan, and waiting for that sweater to be finished so he can wear it.

              And this is what I saw upon entering the kitchen when I got up today.  Same two dudes (possibly even the same jammie pants on Daniel, I just noticed, what an unfortunate fashion faux pas , if that’s the case).  There they are, adorably reading the morning news together.  We’ll all survive this, but it’ll take some adjusting.

                The First Day update from that dog’s mother was entertaining, if somewhat less than informative.  She had to be in the shop by 7 (GAH!) this morning, so you can believe she left her room in some (slight) state of disarray.  When she returned after classes, she found her short-term personal area looked like this, under the bedspread*.

            Accompanying text said: got back from class, housekeeping made our beds with our blankets!

             Do any of you remember when I made that flannel blankie?  It might have been around the same time I quilted those Virgin of Guadalupe ones for both girls.  (Robin, if you do recall seeing it, fine.  But if you don’t, for gawdsakes do NOT go in search of it!)  I’m glad to know she has some home coziness there with her, even if it IS so foreignly displayed in all that neat-dom.

*Remind me to tell you the story of the first time she saw one of these, bedspreads, I mean.  She was about five or so.

             Our card today is lovely.  The spirit of this animal is just so gentle and yet strong.  Up close and personal, not entirely so majestic, but as a message, really cool.  It’s from the category of

“Walkers Between The Worlds:

Tiger, Hippopotamus, Water Buffalo, Beaver, and Elephant.

We do not always think of these messengers in connection with water, but it is vital to their well-being, and intrinsic to their natures.  Swimming powerfully from island to island, Tiger colonized Bali and Java and strove for Hong Kong. . . 

Walkers Between The Worlds counsel that you too should inhabit two planes.  Neglecting the spiritual in favor of the material will cause our inner essential selves to suffer, but because we are of the material world we must also attend to its demands.  These messages also advise us that the needs of both work and home must be finely balanced for fulfillment and happiness.”

“Water Buffalo

Face life head-on with courage and reclaim the brave spirit within you.

Water Buffalo swims placidly through India’s sacred waters, cooling her comfortable rich brown body and languidly wallowing in thick mud.  But her pacific, maternal exterior belies a wild, tempestuous nature: she faces life head-on and on great crescent horns tosses enemies determinedly behind her. 

Tragedy and failure are intrinsic to living but sometimes we are cowed by events, unable to move forward.  Mighty Buffalo is the brave spirit within your soul waiting to be reclaimed.  Take your courage in both hands and dare to be.”

            There are so many wonderful Cow and Buffalo Goddesses in mythology and folklore, this one is reminiscent of those.  She makes me think of the Minoans and those wonderful tales of the Sacred Beasts who had riders jumping, dancing, and flinging all over the place as the Cows and Bulls ran and stomped, and pranced.

             Totemically I adore the sturdiness of this one, and the strength is unquestionable, but as I said, in real life she’s not as close to my heart.  Without a doubt, Buffalo brings us an excellent message though.  One that I’ll be heeding as I try to figure out what we’re going to do with that PayPal situation I’ve now left dangling and spinning in the wind.

Today’s Deck:

Animal Messages ~ Seek Inspiration From Your Animal Guides by Susie Green

             The home situation is merely the way of things.  Sad, but necessary.  It’s me and this guy.  (Well, Daniel’s here too.  Thankgawd.)

She's NEVER coming home! EVER!!!

              Groomer’s Academy has begun, or at least, it will have by the time many of you read this.  Empress drove up today, and checked in to her room.  With a room-mate.  NOT as crazy as the one she left behind, but . . . .  well, so far let’s just say that they aren’t quite BFFs.  Yet.

               As always, our card message is timely.  And I might even venture to add that it’s also fairly damn prophetic.

“Pause

Guardian Angel

Your guardian angel asks you to pause for a moment before moving forward.  During this break, take time to consider your true thoughts and feelings about the situation.  You have been moving so fast lately that you may have confused other people’s wishes with your own.  Take time out and really be honest with yourself: What do you want?  What do you think is the right thing to do?

Pray to know God’s will in this situation.  You want to feel good before moving forward, so ask your questions and clear any issues before taking further action.  You may decide to wait or cancel the entire project.   If this is the case, you will know why you did so after you take the time to pause and consider your options.

This is the message to be true to yourself and God.  Do not allow yourself to be swayed by others’ judgements that run contrary to your own.  Once you become clear about your true reasons and motivations, your actions will be fueled by truth, love, and commitment.   These winning ingredients spell sure success for any project.”

            Standard Doreen disclaimer in place here, make your substitutions accordingly, then re-read. 

             Aside from this one looking a whole helluva lot like Kwan Yin (except with the addition of those strangely hued wings), I think this message goes perfectly with our Otter reminder of yesterday.  We are advised to pay attention, not be too quick to act.  Listening with an open heart, tuning in to the way WE need our lives to feel, keeping our path smooth, playful, and trouble-free, these are the reasons for our Pause right now.  I can totally get behind that one.

             Speaking of being behind, I’m tardy again and it’s late at night, mere moments before post time.  We were out earlier for some medium priced (healthy and cooked fresh!) dinner, a stroll around a few parking lots, chatting with family and friends (thanks J.D. for the suggestion, thanks Ally and Karyn for joining us).  Since the rain was really more than I felt up to wading through after dinner, we limited our wander to the strip mall walkways.  Nearly guaranteed excellent free entertainment, I don’t care who you are, there’s crap there to see and laugh at.  

              Like a poorly worded (and punctuated!) sign.  Really?  THAT was the best you could do Jeweler Store folks?! 

              Now, if you’ll excuse us, Dan and I need to go find the duct tape, and make some home repairs.  This grand-dog duty is going to be interesting, and no doubt, provide much blog fodder.

Today’s Deck:

Saints & Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue