Thinking, Being, Learning.

             As you well know, I’m reading about five books at once, pretty much on a regular basis now.  Some of that I want to share tonight.  But before I forget, I have to tell you how Dan has recently diagnosed me as having late-on-set ADD, because I sent him the following message:

Bah!  I just bashed my damn knee on the damn table playing with the damn dog.  That’ll leave a mark.  Ooooo, Jade found my wallet in his car. Woot!

            What?  Lots of things happen at the same split second around me, I can’t help that!  (There MAY be other examples from today, but let’s not go there.)  Also, he got all worried-y after the new panniers were installed on my bike.  See, I tend to ride withOUT my hands steering me.  Ever since I remembered that I COULD, I just don’t use my handle bars unless I HAVE to.

             So he says that I need to pay more attention, and stop “screwing around,” by which he means, put both hands on the controls.   Mmm, sure, Honey.   Seriously though, I actually need to be careful because like this afternoon, both saddle bags were heavy, and it changes the way I balance and ride.  Really, the man just panics way too much.

             Back to my original idea, the books I’m reading right now.  What *A* assigned me is an older version of a really great concept.  Written by Susan Kano, “Making Peace With Food” was first published in 1989.  So far, and I’m maybe half-way done, it’s all still quite valid.  Here’s what I came across just now, and needed to share:

“….. it is possible to control food intake.  We can deny our bodies carbohydrates no matter how much they scream with need, and we can deny ourselves food until we die of starvation.  If this were not so, political protesters and anorexics would not be able to starve themselves to death.  In order to deny demon hunger*, however, we must have tremendous self-destructive conviction.  We must believe that starvation is somehow essential – that unless we persist, we are in some way doomed.  Once we are that desperate  all kinds of irrational mind games and intricate methods of avoiding ‘unwanted calories’ become possible.  Our minds are so powerful that we are capable of almost anything, including profound self-deception.”

*She describes it as, “watching ourselves eat when we feel desperate to eat, yet desperate to stop eating, is a horrifying experience.   We assume that the voice of the inner dieter is rational, and that the hungry voice is evil and irrational.  We are horrified when hunger wins.  I call this overpowering hunger ‘demon hunger,’ because many people feel it possesses them like a starving demonic entity.”

            We all know that dieting does not work.  It’s a fact we simply need to face.  No exceptions.  Part of my time in counseling right now is spent discussing this, and accepting this, and getting my mind wrapped around this.  Not easy.  And really not very fun.  But it’s also necessary.  I am no longer willing to live my life being terrified of eating, gaining weight, or just plain old obsessing about every molecule of nutrition.

             The reason she recommended this book in particular is because she’s familiar with it, it helped her.  So, I trust that.  Because I trust her.  My biggest struggle is mental, which at first felt so odd, because it seems like it would be all about the physical.  Many of us are painfully aware  that it is not.   I’m actually making some decent progress.  But, it.  Is.  Slow.  On the plus side, I know that it won’t take me another 50 years.

             Before we took off on the bikes earlier, I had a chance to peek at our daily draw.  The illustration is typical Toni, but not so porn-y this time.  Unfortunately, strangeness with the eyes, again.  (And what the hell is going on with that mouth.)  Positive spin?  The message rocks!

“Angel Of Finances  ~

Honour and give thanks for the blessings you are about to receive.

You are about to receive a substantial sum of money or a substantial stream of money is about to enter your life.  You have drawn this card because of your faith in the universe and your strong commitment to your purpose.

The Angel of Finances is here to remind you that external wealth simply mirrors our internal beliefs.  You can choose to see the world as lacking or you can see it as abundant.  You have realised that money is simply energy, a means of exchange which reflects your values and the way you view life.

Honour and give thanks for the blessings you are about to receive and remember to put your money to good use.   Spend and invest your money in ways that help you further your true purpose and long term goals, whatever they may be.”

             Are we all ready to give some big ol’ thanks and massive waves of gratitude?  Hell yeah!

Today’s Deck:

Angels, Gods, And Goddesses Oracle Cards by Toni Carmine Salerno

LateNight Clarification:

I totally would have linked Susan’s book to something if I could have found a site that wasn’t just Amazon or GoodReads.  She seems to have only done this, then disappeared after writing it.  (Which makes me worry, because that’s what I do.)  Also, I have no google-fu, so unless  you pop up instantly,  I can’t locate you.

Additionally:

Empress says,
“… wearing a headscarf with fake hair attached.”

             If The Bloggess can post pictures of her cats in wigs I can absolutely put up phone photos that Emmy sends me from the salon of dogs in costumes.  (Max NEEDS this!)

And One More Thing:

it crossed my mind recently that I might like seeing how much we bike, here in black-and-white.  Plus I have a new toy (more on that later) which was a birthday gift (it measures two-wheeled distance).   There may be a daily tally at some point, or possibly not, just a thought.

Today’s Ride:

5 and a half miles, with cargo, no rain.