Beginning one’s day with a major melt-down never bodes well. In my case, it upsets everyone, including the dog. But it also generally results in shit getting done. So. Not the worst thing. As I recently explained to Ryon, when he had that RainCoat day himself-elf, the measure of a successful 24 hour period is, when no one dies.
Transition is so damn unsettling.
Even if there’s a prize at the end.
If I was an eXtreme OCD Virgo, I’d have washed the walls or painted or whatever actual CLEAN people do. But I’m not. So I didn’t. I am half-assed, on a good day*. Instead, Dan dragged shit out, Em and I made decisions, and Dan dragged shit back. Some of it has been shoved off to the side for donating, and some of it went home to the gym. Most certainly progress. But not any of the process is pleasant. (And no, I NEVER feel better after crap like this happens.)
*And this absolutely, was NOT one of my good days.
The entire ordeal took much longer than the three of us thought it would, so he missed his pool time. And neither of the fitness folks could make it to class either (although I do understand that the studio has a new sign, as of right now). I enjoyed my splashy hour, and announced our out-of-town plans for next week.
Amongst the chaos we did get a card drawn, and it’s SO reflective of what’s currently going on.
“Phoenix ~ resurrections, surrender to change ~ 29
“The Phoenix appears as your Ally to celebrate your journey and to ensure your ultimate success. This is true even if it appears that you have just passed through a metaphorical experience of death or are currently enduring a perception of failure in your life.
Death and rebirth are related when you enter the realm of the Phoenix. Seen in this light, nothing truly dies, but rather changes from one ending directly into new beginnings. The Phoenix is constantly reinventing itself and rises up whole and new and even more powerful with every death it experiences. This could signal an end of a relationship – or of a dynamic within one – or an end of a job, a project, or even a life.
Perhaps no failure is involved, but it’s time for a complete overhaul of your circumstances. You may be tired of what you are doing, or you may know intuitively that it is time to move on and try something new. Whatever the case, a death of the old and a celebration of new life are called for. Whatever you do now will indeed be a successful endeavor, for a rebirth is imminent!”
Since we are amid the ruins here, I think we should see both sides of this one.
“Challenger ~ When the Phoenix challenges you, it is really just a gentle reminder to let go, and let what doesn’t work fall away. Maybe you’re not allowing things to change because you are more comfortable with the familiar, even if you know that it isn’t the best you could create for yourself.
Fear of change is a crippling experience, as it works against Nature itself. The task at hand is to allow for an ending, as it’s timely and right that you do so for the highest good of all. In surrendering to the fundamental purposeful change, you will most definitely find yourself in better circumstances. The action needed is allowing. A rebirth is assured.”
Both directions seem to have so much to offer. I REALLY need to spend time with this, and think on them. A. Lot.
Today’s Deck:
Wisdom Of The Hidden Realm Oracle Cards by Colette Baron-Reid
Classes started at the university today, and we took note of even more foreign plates, in just the minor few destinations we went this evening: Wyoming, Colorado, that Wisconsin near The Burrow is a re-run, and seriously, SO many Californias, Texas, and Washington. (Also a few more Utahs.)
We’re in business,
or damn close.
Phoenix is very interesting medicine, and I see the need to meditate on her messages a lot. Routine is comfortable, and upsetting that routine is not, and without change there is no growth. Damn that life shit. Mrs. Denial has a great tat of a phoenix that she got after her Mom died. Beautiful.
As for meltdowns, they suck. There’s no energy renewal at the end of them, and they just pull everything out of you, leaving a husk. Fill it with some Phoenix medicine, both Ally and Challenger.
~
It looks like now that you’ve mentioned this tat, we’re gonna need to see it.
(Hope she doesn’t mind.)
J
10:44 p.m.
9-25-12
Sorry you had such a chaotic day. Glad some progress came from it.
The challenge position is for me, I think. There is something I need to let go of but I’m not sure what. Whatever it is I will hunt that sucker down and toss it out. I’m good at that.
~
I have such a hard time letting go.
So, clearly, that’s a sign for me, as well.
J
10:46 p.m.
9-25-12
Nice Sign! Okay Phoenix, I’m ready for the rebirth here.
~
Me too, sort of.
(There’s just some shit that NEEDS to go.)
J
10:47 p.m.
9-25-12
I want a picture of Mrs. Denial’s Phoenix tat!
~
Request respectfully submitted.
J
10:48 p.m.
9-25-12
I’m ready for change, rebirth, and things going in a new and positive way! I’m doing my job search a bit differently, so that should count. I’ve got a couple of piecework-type jobs in potential.
I love the whole story about Phoenix and the whole rebirth thing. And I, too, would love to see a pic of Mrs. Denial’s Phoenix tat!
~
When any Phoenix imagery shows up now I always think of the one in Harry Potter.
J
10:51 p.m.
9-25-12
Our Golden Heart finalists group chose a name and started a blog: http://www.ghfirebirds.com Xenatuba, at our national conference we had 8 day tatts of the firebird that we put on our left ankle. : ) The Phoenix rising from the ashes represents us.
Anyway, yesterday a request was put out for someone to take over the blog posts for Mondays in the month of October. I resisted raising my hand because well, I’m busy, and I have to travel, and… . Darn it, it now looks like I should do that. : )
~
Wow. Not THAT’S a sign!
Thanks for the link, too.
J
10:54 p.m.
9-25-12
Meltdowns suck. I had one in my sleep, an actual nightmare of me being chased from building to building, upstairs and down, gasping for air. Normally, since my late 30′s, I don’t have nightmares. Once that shit starts I usually just say, “Knock it off, that’s bullshit.” in my dreams and they stop. But this one snuck up on me and I woke up with my heart pounding like the running had been real. What a waste of good sleep time and it made me more tired so I had trouble getting up this morning. I think the “Perhaps no failure is involved, but it’s time for a complete overhaul of your circumstances.” section has my name on it. Blerg.
“…the measure of a successful 24 hour period is, when no one dies.” I really do need to get this up somewhere.
And what are your out-of-town plans for next week? Hmmmm?
Oh, wait, you’re going to see Hanna next week, right?
~
Travel deets to your left and in tonight’s post.
J
10:57 p.m.
9-25-12
Thanks, Sweetie! This is especially appropriate for me today! All the best to you, Dan and the fam…
~
Oooo, so glad.
Backatcha!
J
11:01 p.m.
9-25-12
I spent my weekend doing the getting crap out of my house thing, too. The difference is that I love it when this happens. I find it very freeing. I know you don’t though, so I’m sorry for your upheaval.
~
Thanks so much,
and I’m glad you got to do some too,
even if I can’t stand it.
J
11:04 p.m.
9-25-12
Our house has been in complete upheaval for a month as we’ve made room for new inhabitants. I am immune to a certain level of chaos, but even I reach my limit after a while. But I’ve now cleaned my entire downstairs, thrown out the old disgusting couch, created a new room/private sleeping area for One (who graciously gave his room to Aunt Erin), found a place for Pappou to sleep, and have moved on to my garage! OMG when that’s done I’m going to sit and drink in the peaceful energy, because all this moving of stuff has stirred up turmoil I think.
~
Holy crap.
J
11:36 p.m.
9-27-12