Navigating the aisles of a grocery store has always been a pain/pleasure thing for me (not in the way you may be thinking though). I like it, I dislike it. I love it, I hate it. I adore it, I abhor it. See? Confusing for me too. When the witchlings were young I’d use it as an excuse to get out of the house and leave them with their father. But just as often I’d take them all with me and we’d have an adventure. (Mostly it was an adventure figuring out how much we could buy before the funds/food stamps/WIC coupons ran out.)
More recently it’s become an event that Dan and I plan for and share. Partly. It’s only half-way fun. I enjoy thinking up what we’ll have as far as meals for the week to come, but I also dread the march of shame where I have to avert my eyes (literally, I actually hold my hands up and turn my head away) from all items overly-processed (and fucking delicious). He has to steer me along sometimes, re-directing like I’m a trained poodle who lost the mark.
Food has been a major issue for as long as I can remember. Either we didn’t have any money for enough of it to feed everyone in our house (the one I grew up in and this one) or it was just “wrong” and I couldn’t eat it. By which I mean, I’ve been dieting since I was about 12. It has obviously not helped me in ANY way. Chronic and long-term obsessions, anyone?
The new skills and tools I’ve gathered and learned over the past many months have been helpful. But I still lack that essential SOMEthing to move past this entire situation. I’m starting a new book soon, and will keep you posted. For today though, we are going back to our Exceptional Life. I’d like to finish it before we leave.
Yes, we are going out of town in ten days. I’ll be posting remotely, as I said, and will be using my working deck. I’d like to be done with Cheryl and Louise before then so we can start Kathy when we get back.
In the chapter I read today they are talking some more about letting go of negativity, and reframing any tense situation through the focus of love. Directed and aimed loving thoughts and energy. (Mind darts!) The example given was quite a prophetic one for me, it was how Ms Richardson and her husband were arguing in the car as they traveled in another state. (!!!) I read it carefully, and plan on implementing this the next time it happens to us. Because, believe me, it will!
“The ego has one agenda, it wants to be right, and it has a habit of trying to justify its position .”
When we release that “but I’m right dammit” attitude we are releasing the ego and deflating the negative emotion. Now, I’m NOT saying that we should not recognize this as a learning moment, nor that we always just let someone else “win” because, come on! What the idea entails is more than that. It is deeper and more expansive.
“Too often we feel like we need to grind everything we can out of a problem. We want the solution, NOW!”
A supremely conscious way of implementing this is to open your hands and let go. (That part isn’t in the book, I thought of it while I was reading earlier.) Visibly spread your fingers, relax the tense muscles up your hands, arms, and entire body. Release. This intentionally physical action assists and facilitates the mental follow-up.
We get into a mindset of wanting to be right and then complaining when crap goes sideways. Even the most optimistic person on the planet falls into this at some point. (Key words here: on the planet.) This begins with an idea then it becomes a full thought and by then we’ve manifested it into a horrible reality. The cycle is endless and terribly self-fulfilling.
Again, release it. Let go of those misconceptions that all is shitty. Look instead, at what is good and loving. Finding our blessings, acknowledging them, thinking about them, voicing appreciation for them, does more than lighten our mood, it CREATES more to be thankful for!
One of my blessings is Grand Dogs. I have three. And it’s awesome. Would I prefer grandCHILDREN? Duh. Of course I would. Am I pleased that my daughters have shared their dogs with me? Also yes. Am I whining about not having grandkids? Not right this second, instead I’m saying Thank You to Max for posing nicely, if a bit distractedly, for me this afternoon. My gift to you: The Daily Dog.
Constant vigilance!
The job of monitoring our property has fallen to him, and he takes it extremely seriously. All. Day. Long.
Our message du jour is simple and concise. I like that. I also like the illustration. I don’t LOVE it, but it has palm trees, and that’s always good. Always, always.
“Make A Decision.
Feeling stuck or indecisive? Listen to your intuition and make a decision!
Sometimes life feels as if it is at an impasse while we await Heaven’s next instruction. By drawing this card, however, Heaven asks, ‘what do you want?’ Sometimes the Universe asks us to be the decision maker, and this is one of those times.
Instead of passively allowing life to push you around like a canoe without oars, you are counseled to take charge and set your own course. Know that Heaven gives you all of the resources you need to pull yourself out of any situation, as long as you make a firm and clear decision.
Your decisiveness is the catalyst for Heaven to clear the way for your manifestation. Let go of all fears or worries and focus only on the destination you intend to reach. Enjoy the journey along the way.”
Begin by replacing the words that are not right for you, using substitutes that fit better in your mind. Re-read this one, using your replacements. Do you see how much potential greatness we have here?! It’s very exciting. Pair it with yesterday’s card and we continue to win.
Today’s Deck:
Magical Mermaids and Dolphins Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue
LateNight Long Term Guest Bonus:
This is the kind of mail The Empress Of Couponing gets in our box. Free. And tiny. And very entertaining, while at the same time, edible.
Julie – as with everything I say or in life, take this or don’t as it applies to you. “But I still lack that essential SOMEthing to move past this entire situation.” I read in one of Louise’s books (I think) years ago, that thought needs to be reworded. Because as it is worded it is setting you up to always be searching for ONE MORE THING that will prove eternally elusive. I don’t remember the rewording she suggested but it may have been I ALWAYS HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED.
My poor dear mother is the rocks upon which I beat myself to become stronger or some such nonsense. Anywho, she always needs to be right. To a childish extent. In the 50+ years I’ve been on this earth, I’ve never heard my mother hold herself accountable for something she’s done wrong and apologize. To anyone. I’ve seen the negative things that has wrought for her and I USUALLY see it in myself and quench it before it gets started.
Re the card – I have just made a major decision that should prove life altering. I’ll probably email you about it. I have a question I need to ask you about Mr. Carr.
BTW – did I tell you we have another non-smoker in the family due to AC’s book, thank you very much. My daughter, Liz! Yay!
That Empress of yours is quite the clever girl. And Max is adorable as always.
~
You are so right! I’ve read most, if not all, of what Louise has written, but it slides off sometimes.
In the case of what that one more thing is, I’ve figured out that it’s a mindset, an attitude, a wee bit of my brain that is cross-wired, missing, extra, or some damn freakish anomaly that I can’t quite reach.
Yet. But I’m workin’ on it!
Yipee for another non-smoker thanks to Allen!!!
How exciting.
J
4:19 p.m.
5-10-12
So, if you can embrace the concept of mind darts, how ’bout re- conceptualizing the concept of mind farts, and assigning them the description of the negative (or unpositive) thoughts which creep in. Also, Mrs. Denial and I have a rather fun way of addressing the need to “win” or “be right”. For a variety of reasons, she is “right” way more often than I am. We have made a game of “you were right!” and we acknowledge the other when that happens. Because it happens less often to me, when it does, she gets to repeat it several times. We will often use our teddy bears as third party intermediaries when we don’t want to say something, or have a serious discussion.
One of the most freeing things for me (and the most difficult) is to be able to say “wow, I screwed that up”, or “jeeze, I am late because I didn’t allow enough time to get here”; this is something that is fairly recent for me (like, since turning 53 or some such). Funny thing, when I say those things, there aren’t really icky disagreements or such.
I hope that on your road trip you schedule some ocean time. Critical to replenish your wee elf self.
~
Lol, mind farts. Nice. And yes, we “play” a version of that game as well. However, we don’t have any stuffed animal friends standing in as mediators. I bet they’d be super helpful!
It’s been a decades-long process for me as well, learning when to just say “yep, it’s fucked, that was me” and when to just step back and let it go. I can SEE it all much better now than I could in years past, hopefully I’m MANAGING it better too.
This time the adventure is Emma’s so I’m not in charge of too much on the itinerary. However, she is very generous and wouldn’t mind a few moments at, on, or near, Half Moon Bay.
J
10:51 p.m.
5-10-12
I just went back a few days to get caught up. I HAVE been MIA, haven’t I? Just lots of little crap and busyness here plus a huge literal shit-storm of overflowing toilet that entailed much mopping and disinfecting and laundering. Ick. Just ick.
On when I’m wrong, it occurred to me early in my parenting days, that because kids learn by example much more than by what you say to them, that being able to say “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry” as an adult to them would enable them to learn how to do the same. It’s still a work in progress.
~
“…work in progress.” We all are. Mine never had to worry about not seeing how a flaw was also a learning experience, it was ME!
(Glad you are caught up and back with us again. Okay, ew. Can’t even discuss the WHY of it.)
J
11:03 p.m.
5-10-12
Hi, Karen! I was just wondering where you were yesterday. Sorry about the icky mess!
Magnum always knows when I’m well and truly angry because that’s when I go quiet. If I’m blathering on and on about how incensed I am about something, well…that’s bluster. But if I go quiet, that’s when I’m trying to get my temper under control so that the next words that fly from my mouth don’t cut his head off on their way by. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, he has learned (the hard way) to shut his mouth and let me process. I had no idea that my processing was me countering Freud. Then again, I never was much of a Freudian, so I suppose it’s only natural.
~
Very natural.
Similarly, this is like when I’ve broken a bone. Dan knows how very bad my injury is by the amount of cussing and colorful words spewing forth. If NO language AT ALL is coming out of me, it’s bad, very very bad.
(See? We are TOO alike!
)
J
11:08 p.m.
5-10-12
Admitting my mistakes is difficult. As an active drug addict, I learned how to justify my behavior NO MATTER WHAT. It was a variation on “That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.” As a long-time recovering person, I’ve gotten much better at admitting I was wrong, but it never, never, slips easily off my tongue.
I think you are much too young to be a grandmother, although you will be spectacular when it occurs.
~
I was very young to be a mother too, so I’m going with THAT bit of history and how it’s panned out nicely so far.
J
11:12 p.m.
5-10-12
I have decided to waffle on several issues.
~
My empathic Aries baby girl wanted to go that route as well…. the MASSIVE amount of signs and messages she’s been getting MIGHT be changing her mind. Any hawks or omens on your horizon?
J
11:15 p.m.
5-10-12
It took me years to figure out the difference between when Dean is really invested in his opinion and when he just wants to win the argument. Changed my life. Not long after we got married, before I had any idea, we went shopping for a couch. We had a limited budget, and I was trying to balance my taste, his taste, the size of the living room, the kind of fabric, the price– all these different things. He kept stubbornly insisting on this one particular couch that I didn’t really like, until I finally gave in. It took me a very long time to figure out that he just wanted to win the argument, he didn’t really care about the couch. When we talked about this a couple of years later with a marriage counselor (I was still mad about it! talk about winning the battle and losing the war) I learned this line: You like that one, but I don’t, so we’ll have to keep looking until we find one we both like. If I’d known it at the time, it would have saved us quite a bit of headache.
~
Oh the couch wars. Did you also realize that you two are NOT alone in those battles? Great that you DID see it and learn it. Ha ha, once we’ve gotten to that point, we can stop going BACK!
J
11:21 p.m.
5-10-12
Growing up my dad always said, “Sorry doesn’t help!” Then one day he told me he was sorry, you can guess my response.
I like the mind dart and letting go. I’m just not sure that I want to let go of the particular thing that’s haunting me right now. ‘Cause I’m right. Damn it! ahhaa no really I am. But I’m also just spinning my wheels. So if ‘someone’ will quit stiring the pot perhaps I could let it go. It will have to be a work in process I think.
~
Sit for a Quick Three minutes of quiet and see if this one is the type to let go or if it’s a point you still need to make. Ask your Team to help and call on angels for assistance as well. (Tell them I’m MAKING you do it.) Just a few fast moments of “hey, help me with this shit, please!” and you’ll get an answer. I promise.
J
11:24 p.m.
5-10-12
(It’s enrtirely possible you could get your solution in the form of illustration-like symbols. Not sure why I had to tell you that, but I did. So. There ya go.)
Will do. When I get home tonight. Thanks!!
You are freaking awesome. You really need to let me pay you for your insight and help. The illustration-like symbols, you spoke of. I use to use Runes all the time, but for a while they wouldn’t talk to me. They just recently started talking to me again, but I forget to turn to them after having been ignored… long story.
These are a few of the things that popped for me: “All things change and we cannot live permanently amid obstructions….You may be required to free yourself from a rut, habit or relationship; from some deep cultural or behavioral pattern, some activity that was quite proper to the self you are leving behind.”
This is not a time for me to let it go. I know that if I just let it go, like I do, it will become something BIG that will consume me. But it is not a time to stamp my foot and scream I’m right, either. It is a time to accept that things change, and while the form of the change might not be pleasing to me, it is what it is. I have to accept that I am not alone on this journey…we are all working on bumping our mind out of that rut, Letting go of the default mode which was comfortable and needed, then, but is destructive now.
I’m not sure where I go from here, but I feel like a weight has been lifted and that I will be able to see the solution. Thank you!!
Oh Judie this makes me SO damn happy!!!
Standing my ground and ‘fighting’ for place and identity was how I have survived manipulative, abusive, control freak family members who were intent on ‘helping’ the family embarassement be a ‘better’ person (like them). I have to work not to mow people down when challenged.
Love the Daily Dog. Max is just keeping you safe!
“..make a firm and clear decision.” Uhhh….
~
Ah ha. Then, letting go is one of your lessons? Releasing those tightly (metaphorically speaking) closed-up fists? Wow, a tough one, but I’m sure you know that.
J
11:29 p.m.
5-10-12
I agree with JJJ in re the You Have Everything You Need.
~
Thank you.
I wouldn’t want to bet against us.
J
11:34 p.m.
5-10-12
My therapist has been talking to me about taking charge of my own life, choosing rather than letting things happen by default. To choose is to act and to act is to have power. So I’m trying to learn to use my paddles and not act like I don’t have any.
~
Row, Skye. Row!
(Or should that be paddle?)
J
11:37 p.m.
5-10-12
I’ve struggled with making decisions. In fact, it’s something I don’t do well. But I’ve learned to hold myself accountable and make sure that my opinion is heard. Even if I don’t end up “winning,” I still used my voice. I’m getting better at it. Guess we’ll see how it happens!!
Julie, I forgot that I’ll be gone the second weekend in June. You’re not coming then, right?? Because I’d hate to miss you!
~
We keep forgetting to make the train reservations (jotting down note to self elf and himself elf), but it’ll be around the 15th-ish.
J
11:42 p.m.
5-10-12