Odyssey-ing We Go.

             You know how we got that Hawk message?  And it was about pre-signs that WOULD be coming our way?  Yeah, I saw one yesterday on our way to Mom’s.  I was looking out the window, trying to ignore Max’s whining and cat-like noises (seriously this dog is SO vocal) when I spotted a gorgeous bird, most definitely a hawk, circling and coasting on the winds, off to the South (Wands!!!).  Then it turned, and went wing-flapping back in my direction.  Stunning.

               In my head I heard, “watch for it.”  Which I figured meant that a message was on the way.  Well, it arrived.  In the form or our daily draw, and in an e-mail.  (I was also aware of how yesterday we were told to Listen, too.)  The card we’ll get to in a sec, but the other one I want to share now. 

               Forwarded jokes and internet scares and crap like that are not my favorites, some are sort of okay, but mostly I toss ‘em.   Every once in a while though, there is a nugget of great value hidden amongst the debris.  And like this one, it echoed what I had already heard once, most recently.  From my mother.

             You guys know the “it’s not always about YOU, Diane” story, but I don’t think I told you the other one.  It was probably less than a month or so before Gay died, and my mother had been outside, working in her garden and yelling at her god.  Because that’s how she deals with her issues.  Well, this one day, she was really tearing into Him/Her (as well as the weeds).  And when she sort of had run out of steam she realized that she’d also come to the end of her row (beans, radishes, whatever, I don’t remember that part, because it doesn’t matter). 

              She sat back on her heels, in her platform gardening shoes, dirty hands on her small brown thighs, and squinted up to the sky.  She says that in this exact moment, her eyes unable to focus from the tears and anger and sunshine, she saw her god.  Or as she puts it, “Jesus or whatever-the-hell anyone wants to call real live shittin’ miracles that happen to plain old stupid people like me.”

             And in her head she heard, “feel better now?”  So she replied that yes she most certainly did.  To which WhoEver said, “good, now we can move past this.”  She felt relieved, she has told me, and as though she could face whatever was coming.  Which was a fortunate thing, because in the end, she lost her baby girl, to a horrific and insidiously painful fucking disease.   However, she also received the solace of knowing that her child lived a full and (mostly) happy life, and she KNOWS that her daughter can try again.  She also KNOWS that we all go Home, no matter what. 

             No, my sister did not live much past her 43rd birthday, but all of those years she DID live, she lived them HER way, balls to the wall, bitching all the while, and never taking “no” for an answer.)

              Mom and I’ve talked about all of this, a lot, over the years, and we both know, deep down and at our very soul level, we know that Gay Lynn lived her life the way she wanted and needed to, and then bailed, at the time which was right for her.  She’d battled cancer for over ten years before it finally just came to stay, and she left.  In yelling at her god, my mother got the answers she needed to keep going, this time, and then later on when she was told it wasn’t always HER lessons to learn.  In today’s forwarded e-mail I got the same message.

              Standing our ground, having our say, and being our own person are all going to be the stepping stones to making sure we understand fully who we are and where we belong on our own path.  Here’s the other one, that goes with the god-yelling option:

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

              Substitute God for Universe, or Life, or The Force, and then go read that again.  (I’ll wait……)  Back now?  Good, because that is SO worth comprehending.  We are going with the belief that there IS some Something alrighty?  (Pretend, just play along with me, if this is a particularly atheistic day for you, or skip on past to the card, you absolutely will not hurt my feelings, either way.)

              What I’m getting at here is that we are lovable and loving and love-centered beings, who have much to accomplish.  We most assuredly DO have our Blueprint of this life to follow, but we also have an inherent spirituality that goes a long way towards just moving us along.  We can make our journey better or we can fight the progress. 

             By loving more, putting that positive spin on a situation, we will learn faster and easier.  We will have negatives crop up and be just this side of debilitating, it’s life, shit happens.  Acknowledge that.  Some days we need to yell and throw a fucking fit.  So we do, then we move on.

           Once we’ve calmed down, or once some time has gone by and we are shown a few of the reasons for that particular ShitStorm, we can be grateful and we can count our blessings.  It’s damn wild ride, but it’s OUR wild ride, so we may as well get as much out of it as we possibly can.

 Six of Swords  (R)  ~  Vision Quest 

               We need to turn this around, and I’m hoping that these messages we were just shown are the way to do it.  From the first time I began working with this deck I’ve been calling it one of the Vision Quest cards.  Because the person in the illustration is on zir way to that cavern in the hillside, where the star is shining above the water, below the green grass on that rise.*  The Swords are the lessons we’ve learned along the way, to arm us for our journey.  We have the intelligence as well as the blades.

              When we get this one Reversed it means that our boat and Guide are all ready to roll, or float, but we haven’t stepped in yet.  What is keeping us from moving forward?  What lessons have we not learned or accepted?  Look at this scene, it’s clear and gorgeous out, we’ve got a way of transport, someone to help us, our bags (Swords) are packed . . . . what are we waiting for?

              Think on this.  Watch for signs.  Feathers, birds, Hawk in particular.  Listen.  Or, if you feel that it will be more helpful, yell at your god.  But whatever you do to make this message move forward, do it now. 

*Over the years I’ve been guided to create whole meditation scenes about what happens when we get to go in there, inside that place under the hill.

Today’s Deck:

Robin Wood Tarot

Today’s Max Photo:

Not going to the pool.

               He was very happy to see us when we got home though, and we were very happy to see that there were no “gifts” on the carpet.  Later he went out and did his business like the beautifully well-behaved little guy he (usually) is.  (Less than two full weeks, and counting.)

 

17 responses to “Odyssey-ing We Go.

  1. I love myself because of who I am, not because of anything I did or didn’t do.

    “But whatever you do to make this message move forward, do it now. ”
    When you read my next post (noon today) you will see clearly that I have my own unique way of accomplishing this. hehehe
    Max is looking adorable, as usual.

    ~
    Perfect!!! You re-worded that so wonderfully, thankyou thankyou thankyou.
    J

    2:06 a.m.
    3-6-12

  2. PatchworkBetty

    again with the Hawk???? I’ll be looking and listening. I’m getting past my personal ShitStorm and am so glad it happened, but the hard part always is the way and what a former friend did…

    I’ll be out running the roads tomorrow so Hawk may make himself heard or seen. I’ll let you know.

    ~
    We’ll be waiting for the report!
    J

    2:09 a.m.
    3-6-12

  3. PatchworkBetty

    Funny too is your title for tonight’s post. I received a brochure in the mail today for a quilt show I love that is called Quilt Odyssey…is that part of my sign???

    ~
    YES!!!

    (It took me freaking ages to come up with that word….. vision, journey, adventure, trek, quest, I just kept thesaurus-ing,
    then finally I landed on Odyssey.)
    J

    2:15 a.m.
    3-6-12

  4. When Mrs. Denial and I hiked up the back side of Pisgah Saturday, we heard Hawk a couple of times, and also heard a tree burrowing bird who chose to make noise and not be seen. I firmly believe that Verna (Karyn’s Mom) was with us that day, too. It was nice feeling her presence. (So, how do I know this, y’all may ask? Well, I had a runny nose…from exertion. No hankie, and no amount of sniffing got rid of it. Well, Verna’s time honored method involved closing one nostril and a sharp exhale that gets rid of the offending snot rather quickly. A move I had never utilized until Saturday. “Hi, Verna”.)

    Nice Max pic, and good on him for behaving while you were pooling.

    I enjoyed the card, too.

    ~
    I love it when they accompany us on adventures like that. :D
    J

    11:14 p.m.
    3-6-12

  5. The words that struck me the most in church on Sunday were “You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.” and here it is again. I need to remember that I have been chosen, not because of any qualities I have or things I do, and I need to learn to revel in that love. Unearned, unasked for, but given all the same.

    ~
    We all need to focus on these lessons more, it’s why we’re here. ;)
    J

    11:17 p.m.
    3-6-12

  6. Two, or more , things:
    Yesterday, the kids wore me out. The Captain is away, my after-school charge and Five WOULD NOT STOP TALKING/YELLING/CHASING THE DOG, and I’m still muddling my way through our first official underage drinking episode. So I was in a bad mood, which I aimed right back at my children. I’ve really got to learn to take a breath, and then exhale LOVE.

    Then, I had a dream about our dear departed neighbor Rita. We bought our second house from her when she moved to a retirement community. She lived across the street from us, and she would watch Two and Three whenever I had someone come to see our house for sale. She would feed them ice cream cones. They loved her!

    In my dream, Rita was swimming in a pool, and laughing and basically telling me to go with the flow. She looked and sounded great. I haven’t thought of her in years, and she’s never visited me in a dream, so I’ll take that as a sign. Listen to Rita!

    I’m pretty sure I have a few lessons I need to learn. Again and again.


    ~
    Your dream was similar to Ally’s mother-in-law joining them for their hike, we get our helpers when we need them. Rita was simply lending a hand, as she did before.

    I CLEARLY recall those difficult episodes when the kids won, so I just retreated, and called it a day. At this point in my life, I nearly miss them. Text me, some afternoon. If I’m up, I’ll say bad words and make you laugh. :P
    J
    11:22 p.m.
    3-6-12

  7. Well said, Julie.

    Oxford Dictionary states – odessey is a long adventurous road. Or as Mae West said, “Hang on boys, it’s going to be a bumpy ride” or something like that. Bette Davis in “All About Eve” said, “fasten your seat belt, it’s going to be a bumpy ride” or something like that. Mae said it first. Bette Davis and Mae West – tough women. The bumps teach us stuff. And yeah, it is okay to yell and shout and kick our heels at the life’s unfair bumps or boulders.

    And now, I want to watch a Mae West and Cary Grant movie.

    Love that quote and Karen’s too. I’ll add, “leave the perfectionism at the curb” cause you know, I like things to be perfect. Still haven’t learned to park the perfectionism. Maybe that’s what is holding me back. Hmmm.

    ~
    How funny is this? I actually had a paragraph in that post where I typed in the definition of that word, too! Lol, I took it out. Obviously so YOU could put add it in. Thanks!
    J

    11:25 p.m.
    3-6-12

    • And…..I spelled odyssey with an “e” instead of a “y.” See! Perfectionism! Or have your coffee first.

      ~
      No worries, without a SpellCheck here in the comments (why don’t we have one of those anyway?) I get about five words a day wrong. I think you guys are just too polite to tell me.
      J

      11:27 p.m.
      3-6-12

  8. I seldom get angry, and this past week had two bumps in the road, all about the same issue that did make me angry and I yelled and I cursed. And I knew I was coming from an ego-centric position, and damn it I just wanted to be right. I finally calmed down, took stock of the situation, and responded in a calm grown up and loving manner. And guess what? The problem is resolved. It’s all about perspective and kicking the ego out of the boxing ring.

    ~
    Wow, that is a very profound lesson! Great that you spotted it, honored it, and then let it go. Nice job!
    J

    11:30 p.m.
    3-6-12

  9. I have been so overwhelmed by the fact Bad Things happen and there are No Guarantees … I needed to remember that there is so much I do not know, and how death is not the enemy we often see it as.

    Thank you.

    ~
    You are more than welcome. It’s a difficult and shitty lesson, and it’s one we (all!) have to keep being reminded of,
    apparently.
    J

    11:34 p.m.
    3-6-12

    (How was that for a nod to our Hero, The Bloggess?)

    • Oddly enough, Sweet Babou called me from work to tell me we had to cancel our planned trip next week. This card was all me.

      ~
      Lol, well.
      You ARE that fucking important. :lol:
      J

      12:16 a.m.
      3-8-12

  10. I will second what Karen said and add for me, “What is keeping us from moving forward?” Sigh.

    And somewhere in the archives is this story about your mom. And, nope, I didn’t go look it up! :)

    As for feathers, I have loads of them. Flocks of Red-Winged Blackbirds mixed with flocks of Grackels (I did a rough count near 60. The damn things won’t hold still.) are eating around the base of my tree. My husband just came through the door and told me the Robins have arrived. So am I about to get bombed or do they cancel each other out?

    Max is cute, as usual. And, Yay!, for no presents!

    ~
    Yipee, for remembering the story of Mom but NOT going to look it up! Well done.

    (Wait until you hear about my new project, cognative brain work, for my food obsessions. OCD, have a fucking seat!)
    J

    11:41 p.m.
    3-6-12

  11. Love Max’s picture. Such a sweet pup.

    I will be on the look out for signs. I am ready to jump in the boat and go an Odyessing – except I typed it Old Yessing first… old yessing is good too I suppose. Better than nooooo ing any day.

    ~
    Lol, Old Yes-ing IS much better than that New No-ing, you are so right!
    J

    11:44 p.m.
    3-6-12

  12. The night you posted this, I had just been directed to the book table at my local Dollar Tree. I have found some good books there in the past (actually, surprisingly good, considering where they were being sold–don’t judge a book by its price!). But that night I was there for necessities, food and green tea only, and wouldn’t have even noticed the book table, except there was a woman looking at it, from outside the store. When I walked past her, she was peering in the store window, and I couldn’t help but notice her, she was a large woman, with very long hair, braided, with strips of colored fabric woven into many of the braids. She stood out… and drew my attention right to the book table, and, well, I just had to go in and take a look. I perused the length of the table, picked up some interesting ones, put them back down, trying to decide whether I should spend any money, even a dollar a pop, on books, but ended up with three in my basket by the time I got almost to the end of the table. There was a definite theme emerging, with titles of If There be Pain (fiction, about a playboy-type guy who starts having “terrifying” dreams after his Native American grandfaher dies, and gets a Tarot reading), Life Changing Moments (real stories of), and Cogito (front page quote:”The thought of love is consistent and it never changes. However, you always have a different thought opposing peace because you are not in the mind of love…. You believe your thoughts are for and of your goodness, but in fact, your own thoughts are the cause of your pain and unhappiness. The thought of love is your real thought, the only thought that provides goodness to you.” And then, I got to the last books, at the far end of the table: The Deeper Secret (“Don’t ask yourself, What do I want from life? Ask yourself, What does life want from me?”). That is my answer, what I am doing to turn this card around… I was directed to a book that has immediately resonated & been “what I need.” I am limiting myself to a chapter per day, so I can do the affirmations each night, and focus on one concept per day, but I am having to make myself do so, because I could just devour the whole thing. I did jump to the Afterward, and this just made me laugh: “This book did not land on your path by coincidence….”

    • Wow, that came out very very long… I do tend to the verbose, at times… ok, a lot of the time… please let me know if I’m rambling on too much, here, sometimes I wonder if I am. I also wonder how the synchronisity will continue, and I think it may be interesting to you to know what each chapter is about, and any connections to the daily draws, so, the chapter I focused on the night of this draw was titled: “Release Your Will.”


      ~
      Long yes, because you had vital details to tell. TOO long? No way, we share here, it’s part of what helps us all to grow and learn. Which is to say, yes we DO want to see where everyone else is, how things are going, when the card or message hits home/rings true/lends aid, and what is happening in this all-connected-ness.

      Thank you, your additions are most welcome and much appreciated.
      J

      12:21 a.m.
      3-8-12

  13. Jules, I had some catching up to do and came across your message about Gay Lynn and our lovely mother. I so remember that day when she had a breakdown in the garden and when her “god” spoke to her. Sometimes, it seems like yesterday that we all had to face that Gay was being taken from us, and other times it seems so long ago. I think about her every time I have to face a huge brick wall and remember that NOTHING stopped that little brave girl, so I need to keep going. I talk about her often and treasure the days I was able to help her move to another life of leisure and no pain. I don’t get angry, I get sad that some other force took her, against her will. Be brave, Julie, just like your mother and your sister! We will get to see her again!

    • Hello Sister-in-Springfield, glad you got all caught up. It WAS a blessing that we were the ones who stood at her side and helped her over. She has been, as I just told Emmy, in everyone’s head lately. I tell the kids to call on her when they are in need, which was the case tonight. She loves her “babies” -all of them, yours mine and hers, still.

      Yep, we’ll get to hang out together, all of us, eventually. In the meantime, she’s still with us, if not physically, all other ways.