Monthly Archives: May 2011

Oh look, it’s still raining.

Posted on May 31, 2011 | 39 Comments

             I’m not sure if it’s global warming, the movement of the earth due to quakes and volcanos, La Nina, or just simply how shit is supposed to go for us right now, but it appears as though we won’t be getting a spring at all  here.  All hope is not lost for the impending summer, we could still get some of that.  Maybe.  For now, it just feels more like November than the second before June arrives.

           Whatever, this is Oregon, I wasn’t expecting much different.  It IS getting to Daniel though.  He keeps making comments to me like, “oh hey, listen… I think it’s… FUCKING RAINING… AGAIN!!!”  Yeah, he’d prefer a few more minutes in a row that were dry-ish.  Fortunately he’s a glass-half-full sort of guy, and he gets over his disappointment with the weather fairly quickly.  We are both nicely distractible that way.

             As I’ve said before, we make our own fun.  Today was groceries, so we chatted with Cedrick and got lost twice (well, I wandered away and he had to go in search of me).  Then we farted around on our way home.  There are several possible travel options that we can use, from this intersection to The Burrow.  One is the most direct, and busiest way.  There is also the “back route” -the one our kids call The Way Of Champions.  They coined this phrase when they were in school, and we go this direction periodically, when the traffic is thick or we aren’t in a hurry.

             Now that it’s just me and him, being absurd and ridiculous, we’ve taken to driving this route more often.  There are things we “check on” in the neighborhood.  Because, as much as I wanted to grow up and be Samantha Stevens, I ended up becoming Gladys Kravitz instead.

            We refer to this one as the No Forward Momentum house.  They have not done much of anything for months now.  (Keep in mind we know NONE of these people, we just drive by and judge them unmercifully.)

            Now these guys, they seem to be doing better than the last one, that window has taken quite a while to get done, but at least we can see the progress.  The houses are just down the road from each other, so they may be the same people.  Or not.  We haven’t a clue.

           A couple of blocks further on, and around the corner, is this little endeavour.  At first we were puzzled by where they were going with this project, but then it started to take shape nicely.  (That retaining wall continues for the full length of the lot along the left side, on about three levels.)  I bet they aren’t any happier about all this rain than Dan is.  But they do seem to be making some headway.

            As are these people.  This is a duplex, and it had a fire in it sometime around December or January.  There is a really nice dumpster parked right in the driveway, for easy access.   And see, this costs us nothing, we are entertained and we’ve got a Wee Walnut full of food.  Fun!  (I know, we’re pathetic, but it’s all we’ve got.  Polished turds.)

            In business news today, I have made an executive decision.  While my Hurricane was here she helped me with a few updates and showed me some new features that WordPress had thrown my way while I wasn’t looking.  I tried it Han, but I don’t love it.  So, no more auto-tweeting for me.  The problem is, she’s gone back up the damn freeway, and I don’t know how to turn it off.

           For those of you who follow me on Twitter, I am now making a blanket, one time only, apology for the double tweeties that will continue to happen.  Until I can either figure out how to turn it off, or she has time to get in from the dashboard and do it for me.  And if you are not a tweeter, disregard, this will mean nothing to you, and I should have said two paragraphs ago to skip this part.

             On our altar this afternoon, we are back to my working deck, and this is absolutely one of my favorite cards of all time.

Ace of Pentacles

We have been over Pentacles tons at this point, so I am going to hope you know what they mean by now… matter, things that can be bought and sold, stuff we make with our own wee hands.  Items of value.

Aces are something new.  Something promising, something that is a beginning and starting point.  They take what the suit means and run with it, madly and with much enthusiasm.  Like with Tens, they are cyclically symbolic.  Like a first step or fresh start.

 I love this illustration, it just screams out the culmination of what we are after, monetarily or physically speaking.  Look at that little path, so inviting, practically ASKING us to walk up there.  As we do, we hold the Pentacle in our mind, we envision it in our hands in front of us.

As we approach the pedestal, what we hold transforms into the very thing we need or want.  The item we desire so very much.  It could be a basket full of money, or fist full of coins, doesn’t matter how you picture it, but it IS of matter, it IS of value.  Walk up the path, set your Pentacle on the flat surface in front of you and watch while it becomes reality.  Smell those lilies blooming, feel that cooling shade, hear the sounds of the trees and flowers around you.

Then look at what is right there for you to take home.  Put it in your pocket, feel it with your fingers.  Treasure it now, because it is yours.  This is a new beginning, a fresh start for you, with the very thing you want the most.

Health update:  still itchy on my face, not much red left and not nearly as swollen, but definitely not entirely gone either.  We may never know what the hell caused this.  But it does seem to be going away on its own.  New development though, I cut my finger when I was trying to put away dog toys today.  Long story, but you can damn well believe that I immediately reached for the magical blue stuff.

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Floaters and Sinkers.

Posted on May 30, 2011 | 30 Comments

            The following is an actual conversation between that dork I married, oh so many years ago, and my own wee self elf… as I sat down here in front of the computer, after I got home from the pool and out of the shower.

Me  ~  I got nuthin.  No blog ideas.  Just a bunch of No Things.

Him  ~  Well, your daughter just left, talk about that.

Me  ~  That’s precisely what is on my mind, and why I can’t come up with a topic.  I don’t want to just whine and cry.  And if I start talking about her I will cry.  Again.  Some more.

Him  ~  So do it anyway.  Say, “hey guys I’m sad, my daughter left, here’s what you get, me crying.”

Me  ~  No.  You’re not being very helpful.  Never mind.  Forget it.

Him  ~  What are your options?  You ARE sad, you always get this way.  You gotta choose the turd you wanna polish.

Me  ~  CHOOSE THE TURD?!  (Now picture me laughing so hard that I have, once again, begun to cry, but for entirely different reasons.)  Ohgawd… choose the turd…. now THAT would be a fabulous title!

Him  ~  There ya go.  And hey, it ties in nicely with yesterday’s making choices topic.

Me  ~  (Still laughing so hard I have to put my head down on the desk.)  No, stop.  Just stop it.  No more.  (Sobbing with stupid laughter still.)  Shit, no one is going to believe you even exist.

          We had several poo and turd related conversations when Hanny was here.  You’d think that since I no longer have any children, who are technically children, these topics would have vanished.  You’d be wrong.  Some of us (mostly them, I’ll get back to me in a minute) are obsessed with the subject.  Oh and toilet plungers, we talk about them a bunch too.  Probably more than is right.

            I voiced the opinion that we really should just go back to out houses (you know how I love out houses), and everyone agreed.  Toilets don’t belong in the house.  (But then, I’m not sure kitchens do either.  That’s another post.  For another day when I have no ideas.  Or am busy crying.)  The list of things I fear is short (even shorter than me and Han).

                I don’t really DO fear.  Not much scares me.  Obviously the dark is not a problem, dead people aren’t either.  But toilets?  Yeah, there’s the Big Time.  The sneaky bastards… overflowing with no notice, clogging up when you least expect, mysteriously taking away all Bad Stuff with just the smallest movement of the handle…. scary scary things those toilets.

           In another day or so we get to change calendar pages, which means that I get another great picture of an out house.  A lovely, away-from-the-home poo terminal photograph that I can gaze upon for a full month.  Until the next page turns, and then I get another new one.  It’s one of the things I look forward to.  And dream about.  And wish for.  Moral of today’s post: choose the turd you wanna polish, because in the end, it’s kinda all we have some days.

            For a more high-brow message, here’s our card.   Now, I have to go cry because my baby girl is on her way back up there, and I have to cry tears of hysteria because I live with a supremely ridiculous guy.

“The Hawk Prince  ~  Spirit communication, paying attention.

The Hawk Prince appears with good news: he flies into your life to alert you that a message is coming to help you manifest your destiny.  Expect a phone call, letter, e-mail, or conversation that lets you know the next step to take toward your greatest good, or to tell you that you have arrived at an important stage along your path.

The Hawk Prince is also the Ally for Spirit communication, so pay attention when you think you hear something important pop out at you on the radio, on TV, or in overhearing the conversations of strangers.  Spirit is constantly in dialogue with you.  Are you listening?

Stay open and expect Spirit to speak to you and show you the way to your prosperity in all aspects of your life.”

            Oh right, I almost forgot (what with lapsing into gales of laughter alternated with a crying jag or two) that before she headed out the door my Hurricane took some nice grand-dog pictures for me.

             Here are Max and Indi helping Empress with her coupon clipping.  We had to gather them a little closer for this shot.  They are looking at Dan because he has puppy treats in his hand.

             And here they are out in the front, enjoying the deck.  Okay, they are really just still waiting for that snack he promised them.  They were out there with Daniel and the girls earlier in the day, because it was nicely sunshiney.  That didn’t last of course.  Now it’s pouring rain again.  The perfect dichotomy of weather for my mood today.  Go, choose your turd, we all have polishing to do.

Late night update:  I was fine, for about an hour, while I saved this post, and went blog hopping around to see what everyone else had been up to today.  But then…. I looked at the Holiday Edition of CakeWrecks, and pitched over the edge into hysterical tears once more.  Hell, I should just call it a day.

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Sunday Assorted.

Posted on May 29, 2011 | 35 Comments

            Yesterday I was reading an on-line newsletter that I subscribe to, and the guy was talking about being “on path” in our lives.  We’ve discussed our charts here before, and how many people believe that we sit down for a planing session to map out the life we are about to head in to.  This reference reminded me of something Skye asked in the comments recently.

“How do we know if it’s the best opportunity? Maybe it’s the worst time to take the leap of faith and we don’t know it?”

            We don’t always know, that’s the short answer.  But in the back of our minds we usually DO have a feeling, or a pull in one direction that is stronger than in the other.  Many religions and belief systems have a saying that basically boils down to “if it’s right, it’s easy, if it’s wrong, it’s difficult.”  Which means that if you have chosen a direction and it seems to be taking you nowhere, it is a continual struggle, and all you are doing it smacking head first into the proverbial brick well, well… that was not your best choice.

           Those barriers we run up against are signs, symbols from the Universe that tell us we need to change course, get back on path.  These are the points in our lives when we need to look for the road again, we’ve veered off and it’s time to get back to the best route, the best route for our good and those around us, the best route for those we share our lives with, as well as those we are going to be sharing our lives with in the future.

          It may not always be the best time to take that leap of faith, but it is never the “worst” time either.  You know it when it feels right.  You know it when the signs are there that this will be worth the effort.  You know it because sometimes it’s just a matter of jumping out the window or being burnt up in the house fire.

         (Please keep in mind here, that I am talking about making choices, not about how we will ALWAYS have difficulties popping up, it’s how we learn our lessons.  No, nothing is easy, all the damn time, but in this case, when we are questioning a specific option over another, don’t make more work for yourself.  Jump out the window.)

           It has been brought to my attention in the past that this is a cluttery and messy place.  True, it is.  But then so is my house, and my car, and my head.  I don’t mind the mess, as others might.  I can find my way around the house, and locate everything in the car that I need, as well as mostly deal with the trash-heap that is my brain.  Not everyone is able to navigate these things, I’m the tour guide (ya know, as well as the radio).  

            Because you aren’t all searching for a lost sock or jar of jam in the Burrow, mostly I can only lead you around JulieLand.  I like to toss out reminders here, every once in a while.  Just in case you, like all of us, like me, get overwhelmed with the teetering piles of shit we have stacked up.  One of the links <—– over there, is a place called Ours To Tell.  It’s always worth checking in on, to see how the project is going, and to show our support too.

            In witchling news tonight, Empress had to work, but we did pack her some To Go items from dinner.  (She will be able to join her siblings for post-meal beverages though, so that makes me happy.)

            Here’s The Son, and his parents, with Han using my crappy little camera.  I’m sure that she will have some better shots to share with us soon.

             Me and two-thirds of my babies, as photographed by their father.   Dinner was great, and the evening constitutional around the neighborhood was entertaining, as only my children can make it.

           (And yes, my face is still puffy and itchy, but slightly less red.  No, we haven’t figured it out yet.  Maybe we never will and this stupid rash will just go away.)

            On our card altar we have begun another round with The Druid Animal Oracle.  Funny, because the counter guy where we stopped to buy a snack tonight is from Scotland.  (He totally “got” us, and his accent is way cool.)  Also, this message ties in nicely with how I started the post tonight.  (That’s always fun, and validating.)

“Fox  ~  Sionnach (pronounced as Shoonach)  ~  Diplomacy, Cunning, Wildness.

The card shows a fox starting to walk across a frozen lake.  In Scotland there is a folk saying: ‘When the Feast of Brighid (Imbolc) is past, the fox won’t trust his tail to the ice.’  As far away as Thrace, country folk would only cross ice if a fox had done so first.  In the foreground we see Ngetal, the reed, and Tinne, holly, two of the sacred plants of the Ogham alphabet.  Under the snow lie foxglove and fox-weed.

Sionnach is a fine, graceful creature who typifies the beauty and harmony of the natural world.  Working with the power of the fox, you will know when it is time to come out into the open and be counted, but you will also know when it is time to remain silent, to keep your own counsel.  With others you will be able to be diplomatic, and one of the attributes of the fox is being ‘strong in council.’  One of the hardest things, if you are a person working with ‘fox power,’ is to ensure that your skill and diplomacy do not become dishonesty or slyness.  Remaining silent, or becoming invisible so as to watch the unfolding drama, is an asset that can bring with it its own special culpability, if it is not tempered with wisdom.

Drawn reversed: this card may be warning you to be careful not to use your cleverness dishonestly.  The knowing or kenning of the fox can easily become cunning which turns into conning.  The reversed card may also mean that you are coming into contact with that part of you which feels a victim.  In the past, the fox was hunted for its beautiful fur, but the hunt was considered sacred.  From the moment weapons were forged, the hunt was dedicated to the Goddess, and her permission was sought before the hunter would dare take the life of any animal.  More recently, the fox has become a symbol of the innocence and beauty of the natural world being destroyed by man’s cruelty.  If you feel you are at the mercy of circumstances, or are being unfairly or cruelly treated, take a lesson from the fox and ‘lie low’ for a while.  Concern yourself with family and home, and develop your skills of mediation and diplomacy.

Most of the animal names used contemptuously come from a patriarchal culture and hence are applied to women (bitch, cat, cow, and shrew, for example) but the insult of ‘vixen’ includes an erotic connotation – accusing a woman of being a vixen suggests she is cunning and ill-tempered, but also sexy.  The term ‘foxy lady’ conveys this idea, but in a more positive light.  Having this card come up in the contrary position, it may be that you need to discover how you can show the wild and erotic side or your character – the Wildwoman or Wildman in you – in the most creative way possible.”

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A Variety of Events, and Headgear.

Posted on May 28, 2011 | 29 Comments

             We all wear several hats in our lives, I even have mine listed here, someplace… mother, wife, daughter, sister, etc.  But the one I don the most is a crown, for being Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.  I actually do that thing, you know the one, practicing something over and over while expecting a different result.  I do this, often.   And repeatedly.  To me it’s not the definition of insanity at all, it’s the hope of change.  Because ya know, it COULD turn out different the next time I do it.  (Shut up, it absolutely still could.)

            I put on my Cleopatra tiara mostly when it comes to addressing the fact that I have a child who lives in another city (hell, another STATE entirely).  In my crazed and royal mind, she’s just visiting there, but still lives here.  (For over five freaking years?  Yep, any day now, she’ll be back.  Hey, it COULD happen!)  So when she is here, I wallow in her presence.  Of course, I also continually send her off to see her siblings, uncle, cousins, and grandparents… but I know she’ll be back, sleeping upstairs, come nightfall.  (Yes, I AM that screwed up.  Just ask her.)

            But look, she brought me a present from her recent worldly travels.

             Because not only am the Queen of Crazy but I am also a bag lady.  (That crescent moon and palmetto tree call to me like you can’t believe.  I could look at this all damn day.  And it is SO going to the library with me next time.)

              Here is something else.  My fabulous and generous witchlings combined their resources and purchased a wee bit of my childhood for me, as a thoughtful and amazing gift.

           It is a metal lunchbox.  I had one, just like this, in kindergarten.  It was the only lunchbox I ever owned.  It was mine.  And I used it, treasured it lovingly, for many years, until we moved here to Oregon, around the time I turned 9.  Then it vanished.  (I blame my mother, she of the clean house and always made beds.)

             Here is a side view, with the little lid opened.  Deargawd, the memories this brought back to me when I held it in my hands today.  We have been on a semi-serious search for one of these ever since I disclosed this bit of my history to the kids.  They finally found one.  And I am beyond happy with it.  As I am with my children.  They are offspring to be proud of, in a way I could never even begin to describe.  (Next they are going to look for the one their father had, his was Gomer Pyle.)

           In foreign license plate news today I had a banner run of spotting things, it began with New Hampshire.  Twice!  And then South Dakota, followed by Oklahoma and Tennessee.  Lastly, there was this one.

            Isn’t that pretty?  You can see it from a long way off too, very distinctive as well.  I drove around the parking lot, in reverse, to get this shot.  We are going out for Indian food tomorrow night but I had forgotten to see if the restaurant would be open (ya never know, it IS a holiday weekend and all).  J.D. has been petitioning for this place for months now, and he asked if I knew when they closed.  (We eat so late that the shut down time is vital information.)  I didn’t have a clue, so I drove by to check.  We’re good. 

             As I sit here now, the four of them have gone to a local bar for Fight Night (it’s on pay-per-view, not in the building).  My brother will be there, so that will ramp the entertainment factor right off the charts.  They will all have a blast.  Most likely they’ll be making fun of me, in between rounds, which is perfectly fine, as long as everyone has fun, and I get to sit here with my Flipper lunchbox.

           We tend to be a very boisterous and jubilant group, especially when we are all contained in one place.  So our card today was perfect. 

“Laughter  ~

Every cloud not only has a silver lining, but it also has a humorous side.  Try to objectively stand back from your situations and find a humorous twist.  Laughter will help you see your life from a new perspective so that you can receive creative insights and solutions.

You are much too serious about life, according to the fairies.  They aren’t asking you to neglect your responsibilities, let go of the sacred reverence for life, or defend your emotions with jokes.  Instead, you are asked to see the humor that runs through the thread of life.  Like a brilliant comedy, our lives become more enjoyable when we can see them through the eyes of a humorist.

Laughter helps us to stand back and see ourselves and our situations more objectively.  When we laugh, we relax.  And when we relax, creative solutions and renewed energy course through us more easily.  So, take time today to laugh.  For instance, go see the new funny movie or play, buy a book by your favorite comedy writer, or exchange silly jokes with a friend.

Affirmation:  I find the humor in life, and I laugh easily.”

            Again, I don’t feel as though her examples are all that helpful, and I already laugh constantly (ya know, when I’m not crying or sleeping).  We DO find humor in so many things, and it’s something I am really grateful for.  This message is more of a validation than a reminder, in my case anyway.  But please, do take the fairie’s advice, laugh some, laugh plenty.  It really does help.  Doesn’t necessarily make anyone (and by that I obviously mean me!) more sane, or less Royal, but it does feel great.  And joyful laughter definitely has healing properties.

Bizarre health update:  around this time last night I started to develop a strange rash on my face.  We don’t have any idea what is causing it or why it’s happening.  I’ll keep you posted. 

(And no, I did not use any new products, eat anything different, wear any new clothes, take any medications, nor sleep anyplace other than my own bed with my own sheets and pillow.  It’s an oddity with no definition.  But it is raised, and hot, and red, and itchy.  All over my face.)

Late night update:  over at Skye’s place she’s done a run-down of our latest adventure day.  Lol, me, in my natural environment.  Go see!

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Mostly all Air.

Posted on May 27, 2011 | 25 Comments

            On Saturday the 21st I said something about having a new regular feature (because ya know, we don’t have enough shit cluttering up this mess) and at the time I called it the Excellent Sentence du Jour.  I don’t know if it will be daily, most likely not, but I’ve come across another one that I needed to share.  Over at Kate’s the other day Lizzie said “risk it for a biscuit” in the comments section.  I SO want to start using this in conversation.  Just wish I could hear you, London Betty, saying it in your beautiful British accent!

              In Burrow news today, Empress and I were supposed to work on some house projects this afternoon, after I got up but before I left for the pool.  I sent her this message:

Remember that the plan was for us to tidy from 3 to 5?  It is now going on FOUR and I have run a load of dishes, read the paper, checked my blog, and anti-balanced the bank statement.  You may notice that neither of us is currently fixing the guest room nor moving your crap out of there.

               This was her reply.

             You can clearly see that they were most definitely enroute.  We got much accomplished in a short amount of time.  Extremely surprising to us all.  (Tracy, we were like an episode of The Hoarders, “keep, donate, or take home?” were the choices.  It worked amazingly well!)  The reason for our urgency was that my Hurricane is, as I write this post, driving in our direction.  Yay!

           In her honor we have gone with the Special Occasion deck today.

“Eagle  ~  Spirit.

Zero rests at the very core of our numerical system – suspended somewhere between the positive and the negative.  While suspended in the womb, we sit at the heart of our own personal universe, barren like the number zero with seemingly nothing physical to offer, but innately imbued with a design to go forth and learn.  We sit as if perched on a precipice, waiting for the best opportunity to take the leap of faith that will initiate the rest of our lives.

The concept of Spirit is very much like the number zero.  Spirit sits between the worlds – it is neither here nor there.  Spirit may be intangible but it is not inaccessible.  People often say that they cannot believe in something they cannot see.  Air is not visible to the naked eye but we trust it is there.  We experience it every time we inhale, when a baby takes its first breath, and every time we see a flower swaying in the breeze.  We have no tangible proof of its existence, but based on trust and experience we have faith in the fact that it will always be there.  The concept of Spirit is exactly the same.  We have to trust that it is there and that when we are in need, our calls will be heard.

The Eagle is revered as a symbol of the Creator Spirit because of its ability to soar to breath-taking heights.  Its piercing eyesight is said to bare witness to the fears we keep locked deep within our consciousness; our vulnerabilities, discomforts, and inabilities.  And it has the sacred capacity to know our heart of hearts, our sincere and purest intent, and our true essence.

When Eagle makes itself known, be comforted in the knowledge that Spirit is guiding and protecting you while you make decisions and grapple with the obstacles you are inevitably going to face as you journey through life.  Eagle comes as a reminder that in order to achieve anything in this life, educated leaps of faith must be taken and trust in one’s inherent capabilities must be recognised and brought to the fore.  Without these qualities life is full of possibilities but devoid of movement or purpose.

Not until we identify our strengths and the opportunities they afford can we realize the potency and promise within our lives.  Not until we find the courage to take the first step and witness the chain of events that lead to the final one can it be realised that all is as it should be.”

            I know, birds again, but I’m getting much better about seeing these as the symbolic messages they need to be, and less like the exact animals they appear as in real life.  So wow, learning is happening as we tour our way around the altar for the radio too!  (Seriously, I love when that happens.)

            This is also the birthday of a most iconic figure, Isadora Duncan.  She was someone who I was made aware of when I was probably only about 6 or 8.  But her life had an amazing impact on my young wee self elf.  Not that I have ever enjoyed dancing, totally the opposite, but there was something about her that just affected me so strongly.

           And one more thing, from yesterday.  I realized today, when I was doing the anti-balance of my bank statement, that I have more dolphins in my life than I even notice anymore.

           That is my check book cover.   The last batch I had printed matches that outside illustration, with various images rotating through.  Yeah, I’m one of THOSE people.

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