I have bad news for the states of Idaho and Colorado, they will now be joining the ranks of California and Washington in our Too Many To Report category. They are no longer “foreign” enough for me. We saw two of each tonight, one Florida, and some other Mystery State that I couldn’t identify (Daniel says he saw a North Dakota, but thinks probably it’s that same one we keep seeing in the neighborhood). I was over near campus again tonight. Not because I wanted to be but because my children and their father have short term memory loss. They keep forgetting that I’m a crab-patch and hate being called out of my comfort zone and forced to change my list/plan of the day.
My family has done this to me for decades (and my husband for more years than that even). I stay home. (Or, when I want to go out, I go out. My decision.) I like it that way. I am doing the things I want to be doing. If I wanted to join you I would have said, “hey wait for me I want to join you.” They don’t listen. They continue to invite me out. When I have made it extremely clear that I want to be home. Then when I have told them about seven hundred and forty three times “NO” they ask just once more. Or, more correctly, they simply say “see ya there. Bye!” and hang up. (Although, to be fair, I have started hanging up on them lately.)
When I arrive and I am grouchy, grumbly, and in a shitty mood, they find it entertaining. And say things like “see, aren’t you glad you’re here now?” NO, I am NEVER glad. That would be why I said NO in the first place and continued to keep saying NO. It really is an ugly pattern. So let’s talk about something more magical instead.
Curious Miss Kris and I have corresponded for a while now, ever since she first asked about totem animals (it was some time ago, I don’t know when, if you really are that interested please feel free to poke around in The History Quilt and find that post). She recently wrote and said this, “I think I’ve had a lot of totem experiences and just never know what they were. Examples: tearing through a paddock of tall grass on my 14th birthday I just stopped, for no reason, and then I looked down and there was a rabbit right at my feet, so I patted it and then went on my way. I went to a zoo one time and they have some snow leopards there but you never get to see the big cats because they always hide up in the back, this time there was only me and a snow leopard, it came out and walked right up to the front of the enclosure, sat there looking at me for a few minutes and then wandered off up to the back again. There was a full grown (buck) deer standing in the middle of my street one night on my way home, I’ve never seen deer here before.”
There is a physical phenomenon that occurs when I (or anyone else) feels the presence of something “other worldly.” And when one begins to “hear” messages that are loud and clear and demanding. You get goose bumps and your skin shivers slightly, sometimes your hair even stands up or gets all static-y. (This is documented, it’s not just me, promise.) When people have experienced a spirit or ghost or family member visitation from the Other Side, this happens. Very often, when I am really flying along with a card reading, I get it then too. When I read that part of Kris’s letter, I had that feeling. I was deeply effected by the way she has been contacted by the animals around her.
She and I have discussed how there are not that many great books around that give a ton of information on totem animals. But we have agreed that the best place for her to start is with the authour, and designer, of our Special Occasion deck (Animal Dreaming Oracle cards by Scott Alexander King). Since she found the cards there in Australia, she’s going to see what this guy (who is Australian) has to say about this. I have done much of my learning about this topic as I run across things. Mostly because every time I’ve gone in search of more details, I can’t find any. In this case, it’s very much about what I need to know when I need to know it.
Because all Pagan based belief systems are nature based (that’s why they are categorized as pagan* by the way), what I have noticed is that there is more writing about the people parts of these rather than the animal parts. I told Kris that, because of this, she may have to wade through some other stuff in order to get where she needs to go. It is also my opinion that she was an animal-centered shaman in another life. Now, what this means to her life at this time is yet to be determined, but I am sure these are not going to be the only interactions she has with totem animals.
* follower of a range of spiritual paths, mostly focusing on earth centered traditions, seasonal days of celebration, with animal or nature components held sacred ~ an adherent of a polytheistic religion or belief system.. especially when viewed in contrast to an adherent of a monotheistic religion.
Here are a few shots of the wee building I told you about last week. 
There is a sign on the outside of the fence that tells about it: The Lane County Clerk’s Building is the oldest authenticated building, private or public, in Lane County…it is one of the oldest public buildings still standing in the state of Oregon. 
It was built in the classic revival style by Prior Blair in 1853… ‘the site to be 16 X 20, one story high.’ 
…on land donated by Eugene Skinner. The construction cost was $100. 
The first jury trial ever held in the district court of Lane County took place in this building in October 1853… the building was given to the Lane County Historical museum on June 27, 1967 and it was entered into the National Register of Historic Places on November 1983.
For many years we could walk right up to it and stand on the porch. Now the fence is there (making photography a challenge). Even if I can’t touch it any more, it’s still one of my favorite places to go see.
Our card today is from Colette’s Wisdom of the Hidden Realm deck. When I first went through these last year, this was one that I had a hard time/fun time trying to explain. There is so much happening in the illustration, and yet the main character has that odd look on his face. I still like the message though, and the symbols that can be seen when we are avoiding this guy’s face. It is also one that is both Ally and Challenger both.
“The Mapmaker of Destiny ~ authentic purpose, inspiration, free will.
When the Mapmaker of Destiny appears, it is a sign that you are being given an opportunity to transform Fate into Destiny. At birth, each human being is given a unique map with myriad paths that intersect with one another. Your Map of Destiny shows all the places you are meant to visit, places where you will be challenged to evolve into the highest aspects of the Self.
Remember that you are a spark of the Divine come to Earth to experience Itself in human form. As such, your path is unique. It is also somewhat preordained, and Fate represents the events in your life that were meant to happen and that can’t change. Fate is transformed into Destiny according to how you respond to your circumstances. Destiny offers you the ability to make great opportunities out of fated experience, so free will and choice are possible at certain points on your map.
NOW is one of those times. You are faced with a relationship or circumstance brought to you by Fate. How you respond will lead you into your perfect Destiny. Your Ally may assume the form of a soul mate come to heal your heart and be your companion. Perhaps your Challenger makes you face the things within you that must change in order for you to express your highest good. Maybe Fate brings you an Ally in the form of a wonderful new project… or a Challenger in the form of a failed business.
No matter which form they take, all are perfect expressions of Fate inviting you into your Destiny. Pay attention as your map unfolds now. And remember that Fate makes the map, but Destiny is deterimined by the manner in which you engage your journey.”
Someone once gave me a copy of the book When I say no, I feel guilty. I still haven’t read it. I feel guilty about that.
It’s much better to say no and mean it!
I try to avoid guilt completely, but sometimes it still creeps in. Dig out the book, and just skim, see if that helps.
Now, see, I wouldn’t show up. Then they’d call and say, “Where are you? We’re all here waiting.” And I’d say, “I told you I wasn’t coming. It’s not my fault you didn’t listen.” Then again, I’m quite possibly bitchier than you, so there’s that.
Also, cute building. I like the columns. It’s funny, though. I never really think about the differences between the east coast and the west coast until stuff like this comes up. Our current town hall, which is the fourth one the town has used, was built in 1845. The town itself was settled in 1736 and incorporated in 1764. The house I grew up in (in a different town) was almost as old as that building. It looked huge from the outside, but was really small inside because the walls were about 8 feet thick with horsehair plaster. It’s strange how much newer everything is there, even when it’s old. Of course, that’s probably how Europeans feel when they come here. They must look at all of our historic buildings and think, “What do you mean, that’s old? That’s not old.”
And now I’m babbling. Shutting up.
It IS a funny thing about how “old” can be interpreted. I had a cousin who did some traveling in Europe, she said that when Americans are all excited over our “old” buildings and things, they laugh at us because to them “old” needs to be five hundred years or more. Perspective!
(No, keep babbling, I love it when you do that.)
He has an odd expression because Orlando Bloom there KNOWS he was miscast as Amerigo Vespucci.
You do know that I really look forward to your thoughts on this don’t you? Thanks. Perfect!
Funny, I was going to write & ask you about totem animals. I’m going to poke around the archives & see if I can find the other posts.
Found it! I was wondering the same things (how to determine your totem) so that post helped. Or rather the answers in the comments. http://urthalun.com/2010/08/11/ride-like-a-druid/
Actually my initial question was about the deck that I liked the artwork on – the one from two days ago, the Special Occasion/Animal Dreaming one. I wanted to see if there was a Heron card. If I had to say, based on animals that repeat themselves in my life, I’d say the Great Blue Heron & Birds of Prey – if there’s one within eyesight, I’ll spot it without even looking. I’m not sure if it’s kosher to pull a specific card to see what it has to say…?
First of all, I am really impressed that you went searching, and then actually found what you were looking for! Well done.
Second, I have always been drawn to the Great Blue Heron as well (it is one of my feathers in the Air tattoo band on my right leg). The birds of prey are very special to me as well.
No, I can’t really go digging around in the deck, but I will see what the guidebook has to say, and if King lists this one. They may be different in Australia, or possibly they don’t even have them. I’ll check tonight.
That’s cool! If it gets drawn at some point I’ll be interested to see it for sure. Herons have been special to me since I was a kid, my dad loved them. He called them “Shypokes” and whenever I see them, I think of him. I’ve started collecting artwork with them, and one of my tattoo ideas is a heron on the back of my arm. But it’ll be a pricey one so I have to save up for it.
I’ll email you later, I’m thinking about having you do a reading for me!
See…mom says “no” fits perfectly in with the “free will” card. Mom should be allowed a free will just like everyone else. I say this with thorough understanding of how mom’s tend to lose any hold on their free will upon giving birth.
Enjoyed the glimpse into the world of totem animals.
@Lora (chuckles) Yep, you’re right. He does look like Orlando Bloom! You’re so good with discerning cards!
Yeah, free will is a very unstable concept as a mom.
Lol, isn’t our Diva the best with her take on these illustrations?!
Once more totally the same. I ask you, WHY is it they, the kiddies and the husband can NOT take NO for the answer. If I do not want to go, why should I. I like my house. It is comfy and cozy here. I don’t want to go out. Like Delia, I think I am bitchier than you. And, then, again, once I am there, I do and can have a good, except that time in New York. It was hotter than hell, lost my patience and became the bitch from hell. Now, trying to change my outlook to “they love me, I am fabulous, it makes them happy to have me in their lives” so…yep, gonna go with that, Yeah, we do loose a lot of free will upon giving birth and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Last night we had so much fun with our kiddies and eating good food. Did you have good food when you got there?
There is that aspect of “why the hell do you want ME to be there?” I must still have so much lingering self-loathing/neglect/something-yet-to-be-diagnosed that I can’t honestly believe they want me to join them. But yep, maybe I need to start channeling Sally Field and say “you really like me.” (Or you “they love me, I am fabulous, it makes them happy to have me in their lives…”)
Thank you Carol, for that.
I need an entire post to hash out whether I have a good time, I’m very complicated.
Oh Julie, they love you, really they do. I have found that they really do want me around and in their lives, so… the same must be for you.
Yes, Julie, you are fabulous and they want you there, it makes them happy. Think of all the fun conversations, jokes, and food you all can share and the photos of food. As Lora said, we do love our food photos, it is porn to those of us who love food.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.