The Scrambled Mess That Is My Brain, but not when I am talking to dead people.

           As you read this I am now more than two days late in wishing my sister-in-law birthday greetings of the day.  Teresa, I am so sorry I lost track of the calendar.  Shit!  I truly and sincerely apologize.

          In the 8th grade my brother started hanging out with a very smart and very pretty girl.  They stayed together for years.  They dated in high school.  They “split the sheets” as we called it, after graduation.  They roamed the city, happy singles about town.  Then they got back together again.  And got married.  They built a house.  Have two beautiful daughters, Nikki and Holly (not the two sons, Axel and Levi, he talked about all of our growing up years, but we adore them just the same as if they were).  She has been an invaluable part of our family ever since that moment, so many years ago.  (There is  not enough space, even on the world wide interwebs, to tell you how much she did for/with us during the worst times in our lives.)

         Her 47th birthday was the 14th.  (She doesn’t care if you all know how old she is.  You’ve seen her picture, she looks younger than that anyway.)  I miss you both.  We SO need to talk.  Hope you got the card, and know how much I love you.  (I will now be over here bashing my damn swiss cheese head into a wall.)

         Not such a tragic and overburdened day today (with the exception of that HUGE mind fart above).  Tomorrow will be way worse though, so don’t even look for the new post until after midnight (even when I pre-write any of it, which hardly ever happens, I can’t get it up here until I am physically in this chair).

           Tonight I am going to address Kim’s comment from the other day.  She said “I don’t think this is the same as visits from dead people, but twice I’ve heard a voice state my name.  Different voices, and I’ve stopped to listen, but heard nothing else.  Have you heard of this before?”  Why yes indeed Kim.  I absolutely have heard of it and I have had it happen to me.  On several occasions.  Many severals, in fact.

         In my own case, it was my grandmother the first time I acknowledged that it was happening.  (A story I have already related here, but I’ll briefly run through the high points in case you all don’t have years to paw through the History Quilt right now.)  She was trying to let me know that she was available if I needed some help (which I SO did).  Yes, she was dead.  Had been for nearly a decade.  Once I “answered” her, she let me know what her message was.

            Another time (in that same year) I also heard my name called.  It was my primary guide, UrthaLun.  I have since had this experience when it’s been another guide, or a loved one (obviously passed), or someone else’s loved one.  When it happens I try to stop what I am doing and listen.  (You can do this too.  What is the first thing that pops into your head?  [And don't say "I'm losing my grip on sanity" that won't be it.]  Who do you immediately think of when this happens?  Who does the voice sound like?)

            I have read about, met, and listened to, lots of people who have gone through this.  It is almost always a guide or a person on the Other Side.  Sometimes it is an angel.  Those cases (the angel ones) have usually been when the person is in some emergency situation and their name is absolutely yelled to get their attention.  (There have also been folks who report getting yelled at and yanked out of, or away from, danger.)

        What I am feeling in Kim’s situation, since she says that it seems to be two distinctively different voices, is that, one is her primary guide, and the other is a loved one (so yes, it is a dead person).  The guide is trying to get her to listen because the loved one has something to say.  They are double teaming her, giving her (what I call) the two-by-four smack.  A small gentle nudge won’t be enough in this case, they want her to REALLY pay attention.  So they are both calling out.

         It takes an enormous amount of energy for spirits and guides to do this.  So right now there must be a very important message for her to acknowledge.  Now, what I mean by “very important message” does not equate to something necessarily huge.  Like a death notice of someone near her now, or a sad gloom and doom portent.  It could simply be that she was worrying about someone she had lost and needed to be reassured that this loved one was fine now.  Or maybe she just needed to be reminded of how we all get released from this constricting body full of aches, pains, and on-going bullshit.  Going Home, as Sylvia tells us (and as I have been shown) is always the goal.  Once we are Home we don’t have to deal with earthly crap.

         Often people worry that there loved ones, who were in pain, or who were suffering near the end of this life, are still in that state.  But they never are (or practically never, it is WAY rare).  Once we get to shrug off this overcoat of annoyance we call our bodies, we are free to enjoy all the Other Side (Heaven, the Summerlands, apply your label here) has to offer.  And “enjoy” is exactly the right word.

          Great comment Kim, thanks so much.  Does this make sense to you, ring true in any way?  Let us know.  (Or if you prefer, e-mail me.  I am very open about all of my stuff, but it has been brought to my attention, that perhaps not everyone is comfortable addressing these topics this way.)  More JulieLander suggestions talked about tomorrow.

            Here’s the wee project I finished a couple of nights ago.  

    It’s a pattern from that book Han gave me.  Again, I just followed the chart.  And used a piece of fabric I had hanging around.              I remembered the ruler this time though.  It’s not very big, and I’m not very happy with how it turned out.  It may end up being a give-away like the other one I offered here.

              Kristin suggested in yesterday’s comments that I maybe find a door I like that already had a wreath on it.  Since, ya know, I can’t actually decorate the door I have up as the header right now.  I saw this house on my way to the pool last week and thought “hey I need to take a picture of it.”  I see it all the time, but that day I did what I was being told.  Now I know why, I might see how it looks at the top of the page in a few days.  

      Although is seems sort of odd to use a neighborhood house that belongs to a complete stranger for my blog.  But hey, I’m odd.

       Two foreign license plates spotted this afternoon (and they are good ones too):  West Virginia and Illinois.

         In our tour around the card altar today we come back to my working deck of the Robin Wood Tarot.  I like to name many of these, and this is one I call Outstanding In Her Field.   

  Nine of Pentacles  ~  success, accomplishment, luxury.

         The number nine is ancient and sacred in its symbolism.  One of the most mysterious numbers in the occult realms.  (And we all remember what “occult” means right?)  It has a hierarchy in its origins, and a very heavy magical presence to it.

         Pentacles are of matter.  That which you can hold in your hand.  Something of value, to be bought, sold, or traded.  An item of significance, made by hand, or formed/shaped by an individual.

         Here she stands, in her gardens, with a bird of prey on her arm.  She rules all that she surveys.  It is expensive and well-kept.  So is she.  None of this work is done by her, but done for her.  The bird obeys her commands as do her gardeners and her servants.  Those in her employ love and adore her.  She is fair and just.

         She knows the value of the Pentacle.  She sees the value in her gardens and in her animals and in those humans that are near and dear to her.  She is maybe not the highest ruler of the land, but she is the one many come to in times of difficulty.  She is the one who solves the problems, or hires someone to see that they are solved.

              The main course of this card tells us of great accomplishment, success, and certitude.  We can all be this woman (symbolically speaking).  We can all dwell in our privately kept and well-tended gardens.  We can rule all that we survey.  We can keep others safe in the knowledge that we are here, taking care of any problems that might arise.  We can be this calm, discreet, and well accomplished person.  Perhaps we already are.