I actually did remember to take a picture of my mismatched back seat, so if this photo makes no sense to you, read yesterday’s post.
The back beige piece has been there since it was made in 1973, but the black sit-on part is the newer addition that we replaced, after the fire. Can you see over in the corner? Why yes, I am still driving around with a stack of quilted bags.
Empress and I were talking today about one of my pool friends (okay, I was talking and she was trying not to yawn in my face). I’ve mentioned before that this facility used to be run by Easter Seals, and that they cater to special needs adults and children (so obviously the employees are quite compassionate as well as patient). One of the other women who attends my splash around class is in her 40′s, and I do not know what her exact limitations are but she is delayed to the point of needing a helper. Having conversations with her is like talking to a very well-behaved 7 year old. She is amazingly sweet and really observant. I love chatting while we are in the water, about all kinds of things. Recently she has been telling me about “Evita” and how she knows all the words to the songs. She and I have the same taste in music, and our singing voices are comparable.
I bring this up because it has occurred to me more than once, how we all have differing degrees of normal. There truly is no such thing as that word, no one is “normal” or “average.” We all have special skills as well as special needs. When my niece was diagnosed with Asperger’s we were shown a list of things that should be watched for, and tell-tale signs of this widely varying condition. Daniel noticed how many of those categories I fall in to. Not exactly shocking, genetics are very odd.
In my own case, I have no problem with labels and titles. If how I behave, and what my limitations are, fall into a group and I can throw a name out there to explain some of my individual tendencies, I’m all over it. When these labels or titles are used in a negative sense, to intentionally cause harm (or as has been seen so often lately, to drive children to kill themselves) it is every kind of wrong. Something I think can’t be mentioned too often, or be brought to our attention too many times. Words are as harmful as they are healing.
In our card draw today we have come back to my “working” deck, and we have a tweak to deal with.
The Emperor ~ reversed ~ 4 in the Major Arcana
This card has to do with power and stability when it is right side up. Security and conviction. Turned around, it doesn’t have the same strength. It’s like a wobbly foundation, or an un-stable base. The secure nature we find here in its direct form is now questionable and at risk.
The Major Arcana cards can often be signifiers, or actual people in our lives. They are the dominant characters in the forefront of our relationships, or they are us in our representative guises. If a person around us, who we associate with strength or security, is feeling unsure right now, we need to help him/her to regain that balance. If this feels closer to our own personal situation, we should look around and see what is unsettling our effectiveness.
A mature attitude is what this card calls out for, to be less self-focused and more universally aware. We all lead at times, and we are all guided. For this to come up in a less-than-direct presentation we are asked to help straighten something out, with reason and great conviction.
I’m all over the label idea. I was labelled “Gifted” in school so no one could figure out why the heck I didn’t understand algebra. I mean, I was sooo “gifted” I should comprehend a concept that my age peers had no struggle with, right? Um, why not just whip the kid with that label and tell her she’s too smart to be so dumb? Odd business, that.
We all have unique strengths and needs. If there’s an eligibility category in IDEA that entitles one to needed support, I’m all for it. Otherwise, labels often say more about the person or group assigning the classification than about the person being labelled.
^^^ what Lora said ^^^
I was apparently so *gifted* that I was “promoted” a grade. Hated it. I wasn’t emotionally ready for it – had the backwash friends I’d left behind plus the stigma from new “friends”. After a couple of short weeks, I begged to go back.
Labels are just *wrong*, in my opinion. They fall short of being an explanation, and quickly turn into a finger-pointing event (or an excuse, in the case of some).
I need to draw my card for today. Another busy one filled with conference calls. *ugh*
Yay. Clicked on your link and landed straight here.
The worst thing about a lot of labels is that they become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You start to buy in to the label.
Shaky foundations? Oh, baby, yeah. :-/ Oh well, am working on building better
It’s all about perception isn’t it?
A label can also be a huge relief. I moderate a small group for people with chronic pain and autoimmune conditions. Autoimmune diseases are not well understood by the public and many non-specialist medical professionals. Some of them are pretty obscure. Some of our members struggled for *years* before someone finally said, “Congratulations, you’re not crazy. You have X.” Some of them are still in that process, with doctors suggesting therapy or antidepressants. Or maybe their doctor acknowledges that something is wrong, but s/he has no idea what it is. So here’s a handful of pills, if any of them make you feel better or almost kill you, let us know.
So for many of us in that group, that diagnosis, that label is a precious thing. It means we aren’t crazy. We aren’t faking or making it up for attention. There is something legitimately wrong with us, this is what it’s called, and this is what we can do to treat it. (Treatment options and suggestions from well meaning folks is a whole ‘nother can of worms.) But that moment when a doctor finally sits you down and tells you that all those tests, sometimes years worth of tests, finally have come to something is an immense relief. The diagnosis may not be good, but at least you know.
That’s exactly how I felt about it! You are so right.
I wasn’t just “stoopid” I have boarder-line Asperger’s, I’m dyslexic and suffer from dyscalculia. Sure, I’m also unique, and pagan, and militant about certain topics, but wow, when I found out that so many of my learning issues had actual names, I was thrilled.