Split, but sorta not.

Posted on May 29, 2012 | 2 Comments

             There is no picture of my injury from yesterday.  It didn’t go nearly as bad as I thought it might.  Whew!  I’m tellin’ you guys, that magical blue stuff is the best!  Combined with my Trifecta Of Pain Relief?  The perfect way to feel better, no matter WHAT has happened.

                  Also, I have a bit of bad news.  Our Daily Dog feature could be going on hiatus.  Empress and Max have taken a pet and house-sitting gig.  She went over there tonight, sans Grand Dog, to spend some quality (bonding, get-to-know-you) time with the four-legged residents.  Tomorrow he’ll be joining her, and we probably won’t see them for a week or more.  Now, she MAY send us phone photos of everyone, so there IS hope!

He’s not wearing that skirt.
I promise.

               Our message today is one of those that has meanings only one (or any) direction.  And wow, it’s timely.  Again.

“The Dragon’s Duel  ~ 

inner conflict, morality, conscious choice  ~  23

The Dragon’s Duel takes place at the proverbial fork in the road.  It is both Ally and Challenger at once, as it represents the tension of opposites.  Even though the truth is that we live in unity, we experience the duality of faith and doubt, love and fear, right and wrong, black and white.  This aspect of your current experience asks you to accept that although you may be going one way, another may call to you to change direction.

Now is the time to inquire whether it’s your ego or your soul leading you.  There are always choices in life.  Decision making also solves inner conflict.  If you are torn between two dragons, the one that you chose to feed will be the one that wins.  Which is it?  If it’s not the one that serves the highest of your intention, deliberately feed the other and the duel will be won in your favor.”

           Part of this definition has never made sense to me, but today I read it differently, and I see more of what she’s saying here.  It also (gawd I love a theme) ties in to us standing our ground and being more in-tune with what we need in order move forward.  On my own path, the disconnect is quite obvious when I look at it through the eyes of this card.

             I didn’t have a particularly great start to the day, but after my bike ride, and after I told Dan that I needed to be in a snit for a while, it did improve.  I worked really hard on focusing directly into what I was feeling, sensing, experiencing.  (Look at me doin’ my damn homework!)  Then I released as much negativity (and crappy attitude) as I could, and finished off with my new affirmation*.

*Which I just invented on Friday, and will share down at the bottom of this post.  Feel free to incorporate it into your own Positivity Journaling.   (Because I KNOW you are all doing this with me.)

            I started afresh, tuning OUTwards, and moving past.  We got some groceries (he’s going to make me a frittata), and we had a slow meander with our frozen yogurt treats.  I really do enjoy when shit falls into place.  (Or ya know, I love it when I do the work and it WORKS.)

            Also?  The number on this one adds down to five.  So, bonus.  We get a pentacle as our reward.

Today’s Deck:

Wisdom Of The Hidden Realm Oracle Cards by Colette Baron-Reid

New Affirmation:

I am a whole and complete person, in touch with every feeling, cell, sensation, and mood.

Foreign License Plate Report:

Kansas, BC (wave wave!!!), and New Mexico

 

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Sometimes lessons are painful.

Posted on May 28, 2012 | 10 Comments

           You guys!  Yesterday we forgot to wish Isadora Duncan happy birthday!  Dammit, I am totally to blame.  The date was written down on my fine old, ratty-ass, used envelope right here, it just didn’t make it into the post.  So, we recognize her day of birth 24 hours later, but still, festively, and with much warmth.

           Back to now, as in, today we went to the pool.  Ah….. salty, slightly chlorinated, über warm water…..  I feel much rejuvenated.  Which is good, because the earlier part of the day was rotten.  I’m seriously working on becoming all complete and shit.  But so far, the only observations I’ve come up with are not-positive emotions/senses.  I mean, that’s good too, I’m NOTICING.  So, improvement.  The WHAT of it though, not so great.

              Let’s  look at Max, then get on with our card.  He had to stay home while Dan and I were out, but tomorrow he’ll have more front yard time.  Our erranding list is very small.

Lookin’ good
in a cotton sweater.

            The weeds sort of exploded while we were gone;  some string-trimming will be the order of the day.  Before our walk/food gathering expedition (or whatever we end up deciding to do in the way of movement).

            On the rotation du jour, we’ve come around to an engagingly fascinating animal, which falls under the category of

“Earth Dwellers:

Mouse, Porcupine, Badger, Scorpion, and Fox.

These messengers make their homes within the safe, secure, and embracing element of the earth itself, and counsel that you too should remain grounded.  If material anxieties and worries are dominating your mind, they advise that you pay attention to what is truly important – your family, your true friends, your partner, and nature.

Earth-dwellers counsel that you reconnect with the wild world, even if this is as ephemeral as walking in a city park.  The grass may be manicured, the earth trodden hard, but beneath the surface worms and insects work tirelessly to renew the soil and its touch beneath bare feet can stabilize you, even when much seems lost.”

“Porcupine  ~ 

You may defend yourself honorably without hurting those close to you.

Porcupine trusts in the world.  Individual but unterritorial she shares her dens, her favorite verdant pastures, and is rewarded with plenty.  But when trust is broken Porcupine defends herself fiercely with barbed quills, causing even Tiger to defer. 

Like Porcupine, share your bounty with others, be it material or emotional, and discover that it returns to you tenfold.  Trust in others while not hesitating in defense and you too will garner the respect that Porcupine commands and the happiness you deserve.”

            See a pattern here?  I did, too.  More than one, in fact.  Good ideas that I feel strongly about, convictions I’m attached to.  Living genuinely with trust, being compassionate/sharing on all levels, and standing our ground, all are honest and positive ways to, not just survive, but to thrive.

            Unexpected interruption and delay.  Stand by, while I wait for the stars to clear from my vision.  I just went upstairs to check on a load of laundry and bashed my right hand soundly in to the back corner of a chair.

            Sturdy, go-nowhere piece of furniture vs the overly-sensitive and super-thin skin on the back of my hand = huge pain, and potentially a broken blood vessel, absolutely some massive bruising, swelling is already evident.  I’ve applied the magical blue stuff, smacked my Beloved in the arm (don’t ask, it just happens when I’m injured), and taken the Trifecta of Pain Relief.  But, I’m done for the night.  Grim pictures and medical updates tomorrow.

Today’s Deck:

Animal Messages – Seek Inspiration From Your Animals Guides by Susie Green

LateNight Crafty Goodness:

another picture I just came across, of the fabric we got on our latest adventure.

Might turn into a bag,
might not.

           Here is the shop website.  Wonderful people, I hope we can visit them again next time we head that direction.

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A personal stance, and a new view.

Posted on May 27, 2012 | 10 Comments

           This post is being written in two parts.  We’re going to my mom and dad’s place for dinner later, and I don’t know how much time I’ll have to blog when we get back.  So, I’m starting early.  With things I wanted to talk about yesterday (and the day before).  Things like my new counselor and why I’m seeing her, plus what we’ve already found out about me.  (Because, ya know,  it IS all about ME.)

             I never use pseudonyms here*, we just ARE who we are, but this time I’m going to.  Not sure why, but that’s what feels correct in this situation.  We’re going to call her “A” for right now, this may very well change later though.  (Or I might just plain old forget to do it.  See note below.)

*I can’t remember names well, just as a matter of course, so there’s not a chance in hell that I’d be able to call my children or husband something OTHER than what I already call them.  My head is very full, no room for anything that’s not ABSOLUTELY necessary.

             The “why” of me seeing A is that it seems like I’ve done all I can on my own.  I’ve changed pretty much every physical aspect that I believe I’m able to.  The spiritual focus is great, lots of affirmations, plenty of positive thinking.  It’s the very cerebral and mental (or in my mind: Swords) crap that I’m still struggling with.  So, I’ve found a person I think can help.

            The biggest deal we have learned so far is that I’m disconnected from my body.  I don’t like it much, and I tend to have the attitude of battling it.  Now, I’m NOT a competitive person.  At.  All.  I detest the fact that someone, in any sort of challenge, must lose.  This pacifist mind-set is VERY at odds with, and entirely against, how I am living in view of my personal being.  Figuring this out was HUGE!  (Even though it seems sort of small now that it’s all typed out.)

               We, me and A, now have a goal in sight.  I will strive to be a whole and complete being, instead of separate and apart.  The theory is that once I’ve accepted this, or can at least begin to view it this way, my physiology will do what it is supposed to.  That is, lose weight.  Less food in, more movement and energy expended out, natural and long-term weight loss SHOULD just simply happen.  Or so we are hoping.

               Rewards, as I mentioned the last time, are also on the table.  One I did not tell you about was the “music for the sake of music” option.  Many of us have devices in which our favorite tunes are stored.  Mine is ancient, but I adore it.  However, I only listen to it when I’m trudging.  (Although we did have fun with our personal playlists on this last driving adventure.)

                 What if we set aside a specific time to just enjoy a song, or five, for the very act of absorbing the music?  Wouldn’t that be a mindful exercise in pleasure and a lovely gift to ourselves?  Yes, I thought so too.   Bonus!  Our brain is excited about the prospect of this type of activity; reacting just as it would if we promised ourselves a cupcake!  The reaction is the same.  Only with the song version, we gain no weight, but we still feel fabulous.  Win win.

            (The cupcake is for later, or another day.  The cupcake is NEVER out of the equation, it’s just not considered a treat the same way it used to be.)

               There is a truth and a compassion to therapy, I’ve found.  When we treat ourselves honestly and really try to learn, to grow, to HELP, we can be so much more than we ever thought possible.  So far, I’m a fan.  (This could change, I’ll keep you posted.)

               On our card altar today is another message I’m greatly fond of.  Even though I don’t know much about this particular saint, I do like what she says.  Or, in this case, represents.

“Don’t Compromise  ~

St Agnes of Rome

You are asked to take a stand in favor of your truth and self-esteem.  You don’t need to compromise to get what you want, and you can live by the truth of your beliefs.  St Agnes is your guide and role model in this aspect.  She shows that in love relationships – as well as career, home, health, and other life areas – you mustn’t compromise your values.

If you are in a difficult situation, first try to negotiate a better solution with the people involved.  For instance, if your romantic relationship is unsatisfactory, tell your partner your honest feelings.  St Agnes and your angels will help you speak truthfully with love so that your partner can really hear you.  If this doesn’t yield satisfactory results, this saint may guide you to a counselor or a helpful organization.  The key with this message, though, is to stand by your truth without compromise.  As God’s holy child, you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and dignity.  Accept nothing less.”

            Or, in non-Doreen-speak . . . . . as a light-filled being, as a child of the Earth, as a free human, you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and dignity.  Accept nothing less, even from yourself.

             Second part.  I’m back from dinner.  It was lovely.  We had several types of grilled items (both animal and non) with a huge green salad.  (But we were with my mother, so there was also tortellini salad, and several-bean salad on her table, of course.)  And pie.

                (There is nothing wrong with this picture, or the pie, other than that fact that I didn’t realize a glass dessert cover doesn’t really photograph worth a shit.)

Tart Cherry

             She also, accidentally and unbeknownst to her, made us Clean brownies.  With Mexican chocolate.  Yeah,  it was a VERY good meal.

That dog is everywhere!

              She wanted you all to see the vest she made, out of that exquisite yarn I bought her for some gift-giving occasion recently.

Today’s Deck:

Saints & Angels Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue

          The Daily Dog is a bonus, since he also photo-bombed that above shot.  But I took it before we left.  How was I to know he’d be in ALL the pictures?

Sort of On Guard,
Alert, at the very least.

             If there is a mat or a rug in front of him, he’s on it.  Although, at this very moment, he’s perched on top of an unstable pile of Dan’s clean, folded laundry, which is on the back of an upholstered chair.

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More adventure pictures, and Preparedness.

Posted on May 26, 2012 | 10 Comments

          We are going to begin with our daily draw this time.  It’s a long definition and I want to get on with it.  The card wants both directions told, so that’s what we’ll do.

“Squirrel  ~  Gathering  ~  26

Squirrel teaches you to plan ahead for the winter when the trees are bare and the nuts have long since disappeared.  Squirrel medicine can come in many forms, as this furry creature is very diverse in nature.  The erratic behavior of Squirrel has bested many a forlorn hunter, and it thus stands to reason that there are benefits to being able to circle a branch at lightening speed.  This erratic behavior of Squirrel can also get nerve-wracking if you are dealing with persons who have Squirrel medicine.

The gathering power of Squirrel medicine is a great gift.  It teaches you how to gather and store your energy for times of need.  It teaches you to reserve something for future use, whether it be a judgement, an opinion, a savings account, candles, or extra food.

In today’s world of changing times and fortunes, it is the wise person who prepares for the future.  Squirrel is friendly medicine to have, in light of possible future rainy days.  Its message is to be prepared, but not to go nuts with it.  Love yourself enough to gather the goods that will meet your needs in times of scarcity, even if that time never comes.

If Squirrel has scurried into your cards today, it may be that you are being told to honor your future by readying yourself for change.  The message could be to lighten your load if you have gathered too many ‘things’ that do not serve you.  These ‘things’ can include thoughts, worries, pressures, stresses, or gadgets that have been broken for years.

Squirrel has another lesson which can aid you if you observe what is obvious, and which can prepare you for anything.  It has to do with the safe place in which to put your gatherings.  This safe place is an untroubled heart and mind, and that which is gathered to put in this place is wisdom and caring.  The energies gathered will set your mind and heart free, so that you will know that all will be taken care of in its own time.  Apply this to your fears about the future and they will vanish.

Contrary:

the reversed medicine of Squirrel is the hoarder: a fearful person who expects the worst and is stuck in waiting.  Waiting for something to happen is a trap.  No action equals stagnation, but a little of Squirrel’s erratic energy might get things moving.  If Squirrel is hanging upside down on your branch, you may have begun seeing the world through opposites, hoarding your thoughts of abundance so that fear of scarcity takes hold.  You may ask yourself:

  • Have I denied my ability to produce enough space for abundance to enter my life?
  • Have I denied my connection to the Earth Mother, from whom all things flow?
  • In moving too fast, have I taken on the erratic nature of Squirrel without having any focus?
  • Am I leaking my energy on worry instead of gathering power through being prepared?

Remember, one of the Squirrel family gathered the energy of Eagle and connected to the Great Spirit . . . . now this Squirrel can fly.”

             First of all, we are NEVER going to discuss flying squirrels (sugar gliders) here.  No.  Just no no no.

          Next, I love that line about the safe place being an untroubled heart and mind.  Ah, very peaceful and calming.  Which is exactly the feeling I am blessed with when I get my ocean fix.

Moonstone Beach, some more.

          Above is another awesome shot taken with Emmy’s new phone.   Here is a view from our ballgame day.

Yes, I wore a hat.

          That’s me (looking up at the monitor) and then Erin, with Sara next to her, Michelle and Barbara at the end.  Bruce is down there, too.  In the other direction were Dan and his parents.

          From today, we have Max.  Just being his own cute self as we sat on the couch earlier.

Dozing next to his Nana.

          Before our sofa time, I was out, so he was very glad I’d returned safely.  It was a brief erranding day, the usual stops.

          Picking up something at the library, and checking on the across-the-street building progress.

          And noticing foreign license plates in the parking garage as I dropped off a box for J.D.  Nothing new or unusual this time.

          Before we went out of town last week though, I received this one from Hanna & Co.  In my rush, I never had a chance to share it.

Adam with Hunter,
Hanny with Indiana

          I still am not even sure what to say about it.  Really, it’s just…. lovely.  And our NEXT adventure will be seeing all of them!

Today’s Deck:

Medicine Cards – The Discovery Of Power Through The Ways of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson, illustrated by Angela C Werneke

 

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Traveling, Gratitude, Natural Beauty.

Posted on May 25, 2012 | 17 Comments

            Well, we arrived home safely last night.  At some time after one a.m.  (Yes, technically that IS today, but not for me; my calendar date starts when I get up.  You guys know this already, why am I even saying it?)  We’d been on the road for 13 hours.  So, ya know, NOT the most efficient journey.  (Compare it to the drive down, which took less than 9.)  However, it WAS festive.  The reason we got back so late, after leaving so early (promptly after a café breakfast with the fam), was because we were going a-visiting.

             Which was what I TRIED to tell you yesterday, as it was happening.  Emmy’s lovely friend (and practically member of the family) Whitney is working on a farm.  The nearest town to her is about three hours from where we were staying, but it is basically on our way north.  Bonus, it was Farmer’s Market day.

Look carefully at this woman.

            She brought us a market bag!  (Plus some jam, which I forgot to photograph.  And we got a loaf of garlic bread that was baked in their stone ovens.  AND two wonderful, just-this-side-of-perfection, dessert bars.)

            Our next stop was a spur-of-the-moment idea that actually worked very well.  We would be passing right through where Corina lives.  Obviously we had to say hi!  She came up with a meeting spot and directed us in perfectly.  (Special thanks go to the Universe and our Teams, who totally guided us along and made this extended communications/right-time-and-place experiment fall exactly, specifically, as it needed to.) 

Taken with Emma’s new phone.

             This is a fucking GORGEOUS location called Moonstone Beach.  Was it made for me?!  I’d have to say yes.  (Holy crap, I want to LIVE there.)  Thank you Corina, for bringing us supplies, and for leading us to this Paradise.

West coast highway sunset.

            That above shot was taken by our thoughtful chauffeur, as we just zoomed along.  (Some of us exclaiming about the view more than others.)  He held my camera over his shoulder not even glancing out the damn window, clicking away madly.  Ridiculous!  And yet, some came out really nicely.

Made with real Oreos.

            Sara baked me cupcakes!  (I was going to take pictures BEFORE most of them were gone.)  Thanks Bride-To-Be! 

              Yep, that’s right, a wedding is in the works.  We’ll be heading down again right before July (just me and Dan this time though, Empress is back to work making local canines beautiful, and J.D. was notified that he will NOT be laid off this year, so, mixed blessings; yipee for no unemployment, boo for not being able to attend the nuptials). 

            Thank you tremendously generous California family, more than I can say.  The ballgame might not have been precisely a winner, but we sure had a fabulous time! 

Being calm and patient.

             Max also had fun in that welcoming house with many dogs and loved ones.  But we all know how it is when adventuring, just nice to come home.  And since this is the only home he has right now, it felt peaceful to return here.

            Empress and her father had to work today, I had an appointment.  Plus I took the bike out for a spin.  While we were visiting there were daily (sometimes more than once a day) walks around the loop.  Our hostess lives on a large cul-de-sac, ideal for wandering and power walking, and ….. ready for this?  I even jogged/ran a few half-laps!

            I’d like to incorporate that into my around-the-neighborhood outings in the next few days and see how I do with it.  Another item I’m working on right now is a mindful project that was brought to my attention this afternoon.  The theory being that we all deserve rewards (I know that some of you have already covered this on your blogs, but it’s new to me).  What we* want to strive for are non-food treats.  And in my case, non-shopping, non-pampering gifts to my on-the-spectrum self elf who gets queasy at the very mention of all that touching and fondling and hands-y-ness.

*And by “we” you know I generally mean ME.

           No massages nor manicures for me, thankyouverymuch.  No retail therapy, no drinking events.  I’m all about the non-materialistic system of giving.  And look a this, how timely is our card?

“Nature  ~

Take a walk.

Let the beauty of nature feed your soul.”

             Or, in my own words, reward yourself with hammock time.  Now, I don’t actually HAVE a hammock, but this is what we’re going to call it.  Because that was the first example I received today.  So it stuck.

           It’s about tuning out all other distractions, like meditation, only the focus is outward, on whatever is around you.  The reward is ten minutes (less or more, depending) of focus, no electronics or conversations, simply joyful freedom to be yourself.  (Outside if possible.)

          Say you ARE in a hammock, you watch the leaves over your head.  You listen to the breeze or the neighborhood sounds.  You touch your hands to the grass below you and feel the blades.  You observe the temperature of the air on you skin.  You are mindful, of all sensations.  THAT is the treat.

           In my case, it’ll be more about just sensing the out-of-doors because I’ll probably do it on one of the decks.  But I’ll do it.  Another one I’m calling Weather Appreciation.  It’s similar to Hammock Time, but with more attention on the temperature, and ALWAYS outside, no matter the conditions. 

            Remember the saying we found?  There is no such thing as inclement (bad) weather, only inappropriate clothing.  We can all appreciate our circumstances more if we are enjoying and actively engaging in what’s happening climate-wise.   Hot, cold, foggy, sunny, windy, rainy, whatever.  Ten minutes.  Stand or sit in it.  Feel it with, on every level of our being.  Mindfully.  THERE is our second gift.

             I’ll keep you posted on my progress, be sure to tell us yours if you feel like joining me in this new rewards project.  As more pictures roll in (many cameras were in use this week) I’ll keep sharing this first-of-many summer expeditions away from The Burrow.  In addition, I’ll soon be telling you about my other breakthrough today, about whole/complete vs separate/battling. 

            (Oh, did I not mention that I’m seeing a therapist now?  I am.)

Today’s Deck:

Self-Care Cards by Cheryl Richardson

LateNight Acknowledgment:

yes, that IS the way Jenny, The Bloggess (goddess of all things brilliant and imperfect) says thankyouverymuch, so I want to give her credit.  It truly captures the moment and essence of what I wanted to say.  So I stole borrowed it.

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